The Long Road Home II - Awakenings
by Kira 47
Summary: Voyager travels through hostile territory as Janeway and Chakotay deal with the fallout from their imprisonment.
1. The Fight

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is the second part of my "The Long Road Home" trilogy.  You should probably read the first part, "Separations" if you want to be able to follow along.

SUMMARY: Captain Janeway faces conflict on two fronts as Voyager enters a war zone while her relationship with Chakotay begins to fall apart.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

AWAKENINGS

CHAPTER ONE : THE FIGHT

"Everyone seems to be adjusting okay," Mark told the Captain as he took the cup of coffee she offered him.

"I'm glad to hear it." 

"Your crew's been really great at making us feel at home.  Nathan said something about Harry Kim and a holodeck program…Captain Photon?" 

"Proton.  One of Lieutenant Paris' creations.  It's quite amusing, really.  You should try it sometime." 

"You've tried it?" 

"Not voluntarily – it's a long story," she said with a grin. "Ask Tom about it sometime.  He'll tell it better than I will." 

"Everything else is going well.  It might take a little time to get used to duty rosters and quarters again, but I'm sure this place will feel like home in no time." 

"And you?" 

"I'm doing fine.  It's strange, though, being back on a Federation ship after spending four months in that hell.  I'm starting to see some familiar faces in the corridors.  I may not remember names very well yet, but I'm certainly getting along with the crew." 

"So I've noticed," she said with a sly grin. "You and Seven have really hit it off." 

"She's fascinating," he admitted. "I've never known anyone like her." 

"That I can easily believe.  It's not every day you meet an ex-drone who's been liberated from the collective." 

He shook his head. "That's not what I mean."  He paused, trying to figure out how to put it into words.  "It's because I'm Betazoid," he explained after a minute. "The rest of you see an ex-Borg trying to be human and fit in.  I see a person fighting to come out.  Somewhere, deep down, she's Annika Hansen.  I've lost count of the number of times I've had to stop myself from calling her that." 

The Captain stared at him in amazement. "Really?" 

"I find it hard to believe that the rest of you can't see it.  There's such a wealth of emotion and personality, and it's just below the surface.  I only wish I could bring it out." 

"You do a pretty good job as it is.  When she was talking to you about the wormhole at Neelix's party – that's almost the most comfortable I've ever seen her." 

"I was cheating," he confessed. "I tried a few different topics until I sensed that she wasn't nervous.  It's definitely a conversation helper." 

"I'll bet.  Where were you when I brought her on board?" 

Their conversation was interrupted by Chakotay's voice through her commbadge. 

_Chakotay to Janeway._

"Janeway here." 

_We're approaching an alien vessel. _

"Acknowledged," she told him, and she motioned for Mark to follow her as she got up off the couch.

"They're hailing us," Chakotay told her as she and Mark entered the bridge. 

"Onscreen," she ordered.  A humanoid alien filled the screen.  He had a bluish tint to his skin, and an indentation in his forehead above the bridge of his nose. 

Whatever species he was from, they obviously didn't practice introductions. "Who are you?" he said, curious but not hostile. "What are you doing in my trade route?  I've never encountered such an advanced vessel this close to Brennin space before." 

"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager." 

"My name is Taleth," he said pleasantly. "It's a pleasure to meet you.  It's been weeks since I've seen anyone – I'm glad for the company."  She looked at Chakotay and smiled.  It wasn't very often that they met a species that was this friendly. 

"Well, Taleth, I apologize if we've intruded on your space.  We didn't realize this was your…trade route."

"Not a problem," he said with a wave of his hand.  "But I'm not the one you should be worried about.  The area of space you'll be entering is controlled by a race called the Brennin.  They're at war with a neighboring species and are particularly hostile towards strangers in their space.  I suggest you avoid them." 

"Are you Brennin?" asked Chakotay. 

"No – my kind are known as the Markani.  We're nomadic, and most of us are traders like myself.  Most of us know better than to get involved with the Brennin – they're notoriously hostile and unreliable.  I'm the only one who dares to come even this close to their borders, but it cuts my delivery time in half to the colonies 30 parsecs from here." He frowned as he looked at them.  "I'm not familiar with your species," he continued. "Or your vessel." 

"We're not from around here," Janeway explained. "We're trying to get home." 

"I see," he said, then paused. "Wait…did you say your ship was called Voyager?" 

"That's right." 

"Are you from a place known as the Alpha Quadrant? A planet called Earth?" 

The bridge crew looked at each other in surprise. 

"As a matter of fact, we are.  How did you know that?" 

"A friend of mine…well, more of a friend of a friend…well…never mind that.  I heard of a Captain of another cargo transport that was looking for a ship called Voyager from across the galaxy." 

Captain Janeway glanced warily at Chakotay and then at Tuvok.  They knew from experience that when somebody was looking for Voyager, it was usually because they had a grudge.  She wondered momentarily whether the Vaadwaur were after them again. 

"Why were they looking for us?" asked Chakotay. 

"I'm not sure," he admitted. "Something about a ship that was destroyed…The information had been passed around quite a few people.  I wasn't even sure there was such a ship.  I communicate mostly with traders, spread out over this area of space, so the flow of information is often…unreliable." 

"Is there anything else you can tell us?" 

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not." 

"Well, thank you for the information, and the warning about the Brennin." 

"You're most welcome.  Safe journey."

*    *    *

_Captain's log, Stardate 54954.6  We've finalized operations for Operation Watson after two weeks, and everything has proceeded smoothly so far.  Seven informs me that we will be able to contact the Brennin tomorrow – hopefully they will be more cooperative than we've been led to believe.  It appears that their space is extensive, so hopefully they will allow us to pass through without incident._

The Captain leaned forward with her hands on the Astrometrics console.  This was the moment of truth for Operation Watson – they were about to attempt a visual link with Starfleet Command.  There was standing room only in the small room as all the senior staff waited to see if their attempt would be successful. 

"Anything?" Captain Janeway asked.  It had already been four minutes since the pulsar had been properly aligned, so time was quickly running out. 

Seven worked at her console. "I am picking up a phased tachyon beam encoded with a triaxilating signal."

"Onscreen." 

A distorted image appeared on the screen, cutting in and out.  "Voyager, this….fleet command….receiving this?" 

"Can you clear it up?" asked Chakotay, standing immediately behind the Captain. 

"I am attempting to compensate," Seven told him. 

The image resolved to reveal Lieutenant Barclay and Admiral Paris on the viewscreen. 

"Captain Janeway, it's a pleasure to finally talk to you in person." 

"The pleasure's all mine, sir," she said.  "Congratulations, Lieutenant Barclay – you've established the first trans-galactic comm link." 

"I wish I could take the credit," he told her. "But it's Harry and Seven who came up with the idea." 

"Be sure to mention us when you accept the Daystrom Prize," said Harry with a grin. 

"I wish we had more time for small talk, but the singularity will only be in alignment for 11 minutes per day," said Admiral Paris. "We'll leave it up to you to allocate it among your crew.  Before we go, however, Mr. Barclay has arranged a small gift for you and your crew." 

Reg hit a few buttons on the console in front of him, and he and the Admiral were replaced by an a view of Earth from space. 

"A live image from McKinley station," said Barclay's voice. 

The crew looked at it in awe, their breath caught in their throats.  "It's beautiful," said the Captain. 

"Quite a view," added Chakotay, and they all stared in silence at the city so far away, although at that moment it seemed that they were closer than ever before. 

*    *    *

Later that night, the Captain drummed her fingers on the desk in her quarters.  She had been trying to get some work done all evening, but had been unable to concentrate. She had many things on her mind, but one thing in particular weighed heavily on her – Chakotay.  She was beginning to doubt herself and the choices she had made that night in her quarters.  At the time, she had decided not to think about it too much, and to follow her heart for once instead of her head.  Now, she wished that she had taken a few days to consider what she was getting herself into.  She knew that she hadn't been completely truthful with Chakotay – since she had all but admitted she returned his feelings and had kissed him, he assumed she was ready to pursue a relationship.  She had been careful to conceal how hard she was struggling to suppress her doubts, and he was unaware how wary she was of giving in to her feelings. She had become aware of a sense of anticipation from him, and she realized that he was expecting there to be some progress in their relationship.  He wasn't pressuring her at all, but he was hopeful of some progress and looking forward to it.  The realization that she had to make a decision and that their relationship really had changed had brought her swiftly back to harsh reality, and she had begun to question the wisdom of her actions that night. 

Chakotay had asked her to join him for dinner to celebrate the success of the contact that morning, but she had refused, telling him she just wanted some quiet time to herself and a chance to get some work done.  Normally, a dinner invitation from him wouldn't strike her as out of the ordinary, but this time it had felt different when he had casually asked her to join him.  She felt that she needed time to think and had been trying to avoid him since she had begun having doubts recently, but she had tried not to be too obvious about it so he wouldn't get the wrong idea. 

She picked up a PADD but didn't really see it.  It wasn't that she didn't have feelings for Chakotay – she had realized that long ago.  It was just…she didn't know what it was. Nothing.  Everything.  She sighed and tilted her head back on the chair.  She had an entire ship to think about – she couldn't just ignore them and do whatever the hell she felt like.  If she could, she and Chakotay probably would have been involved years ago.  She had responsibilities, and she refused to ignore them. 

After one more attempt to concentrate on the PADD in her hands, she gave up.  This was one of the problems with a relationship between the two of them – if she couldn't keep her mind off him after kissing him, how could she ever get any work done if they became lovers? She sighed again.  All this stress was giving her a pounding headache.  She got up from her chair and moved around the desk – what she needed was a long walk around the ship.  Roaming the halls and occasionally stopping to chat with some of the crew never failed to focus her mind and relax her.  She had nearly made it to the door when the chime echoed through her quarters, and she froze – she knew exactly who that would be.

Chakotay pressed the chime on Kathryn's quarters for the second time, but got no answer.  He frowned – he was pretty sure she had been avoiding him the past week, although she had been very careful about it.  Her declining his dinner invitation had confirmed the suspicion that she didn't want to talk to him, and that worried him.  If she wanted time to herself, it was probably so she could think.  If she was thinking about something, it was probably their relationship and where it was going.  The final assumption was the one that had him worried – if she was thinking about their relationship, she was probably having doubts.  He figured that the only reason she had kissed him just over two weeks ago was because she had stopped thinking like the Captain of Voyager and started thinking like Kathryn, the person he had seen on New Earth years ago and, although he hated to admit it, on Quarra.  Seeing her on that planet had reaffirmed his idea of the kind of control she imposed on herself.  Removed from her responsibilities, she was a completely different person; one that he had glimpsed on rare occasions over the past few years.  If she thought too hard about what she was doing, he was afraid that her sense of control would win out and it would mean the end of their relationship before it had really begun. 

When she still hadn't answered her door, he was tempted to give up and leave her alone, but instead decided that now was as good a time as any to force her to talk about it.  He wondered momentarily whether she was even in her quarters – he knew that she liked to roam the ship when she was upset about something, and he had run into her on her strolls more than once. 

He was about to hit his commbadge to contact her when the doors opened and he saw her standing in the doorway. 

"Come in," she said quietly, stepping aside to admit him. 

"What took you so long?" 

"I didn't hear the door," she said quietly, but they both knew it wasn't true. 

"Neelix is throwing a party on the holodeck to celebrate the success of Operation Watson…I came by to convince you to join me." 

She hesitated.  "Maybe some other time," she said, walking over to the windows. 

He followed her and stood behind her as she watched the stars go by.  "Everyone's expecting you." 

She considered carefully for a moment.  She was afraid if she refused again, he would want to know why and she would be forced to tell him about the doubts she was having concerning him and their relationship.  She could see that he was suspicious that something was wrong by the way he was carefully scrutinizing her. 

"I suppose I could put in an appearance," she said with a small smile. 

"Good," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder.  "Come on." 

She chuckled softly and patted his hand before she followed him out the door and down the hallway, where they entered the turbolift. 

"Deck six," she ordered. 

She and Chakotay were standing side by side in the turbolift, their shoulders nearly touching.  As the turbolift descended, his fingers brushed hers, and he took her hand in his and gave it an affectionate squeeze.  He was surprised and hurt when she carefully wrenched her hand from his grasp and crossed her arms. 

He saw that she looked upset. "What?" he asked.  She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. 

"I'm not sure I'm ready for this," she said carefully. 

"Ready for what?" 

"Computer, halt turbolift." She turned to face him. "You and me…in public, in front of the crew.  We've never discussed it." 

"Maybe we should discuss it now." 

She sighed and turned away from him.  He was silent, and waited for her to begin.  He was afraid that he knew exactly what she was thinking, and it gave him a knot in the pit of his stomach. 

She faced him again, but wouldn't look him in the eye.  "I can't allow personal feelings to compromise my responsibilities." 

"By going to the holodeck with me?" he asked incredulously. "By holding my hand in a turbolift?" 

She was still avoiding eye contact with him.  "Chakotay – it's not that simple.  A Captain involved with her First Officer…What happens when I have to send you on a dangerous away mission?  Or when we disagree, personally or professionally?  If we had a fight the whole crew would suffer for it.  How would it affect the command structure?"  She sighed and closed her eyes.  "It's too complicated." 

"Since when?" 

"It's always been complicated, Chakotay." 

"What about that night in your quarters?" 

"I acted impulsively.  It was a mistake." 

"A mistake?"  He couldn't believe this was happening.  It felt like some kind of nightmare.  "What changed?  When we were on the Vaadwaur ship…I asked you if you felt the same way about me, and you…"

"Nothing changed," she said softly, interrupting him.  "And it never will…but it can't work.  I had thought that maybe if we took it slow…"

"Take it slow?" he repeated. "Seven years isn't slow enough for you?" 

She felt as though he'd slapped her.  On some level, though, she knew he was right.  He had been waiting a long time for her to come around, and he believed that she finally had.  Now, here she was pulling away again.  This was difficult enough for her as it was, but his reaction to her was making it ten times worse.  She knew that if she tried to speak she would not be able to control herself, so she looked down at the floor and tried to calm down and regain control. 

They stood in silence, not looking at each other for what seemed like an eternity. "Resume," said Chakotay quietly, and the turbolift started moving again.  It stopped after a few seconds and the doors opened.  "Are you coming?" he asked, already knowing the answer. 

She didn't move and continued staring at the floor with her arms folded in front of her.  He stormed out of the turbolift and the doors closed behind him. 

"Deck three," she whispered, and the turbolift moved again.  She slumped backwards against the wall and tilted her head back, looking up at the ceiling through the tears in her eyes.

As soon as Chakotay had made it a little ways down the corridor, he stopped and turned around, but the turbolift doors were already closed.  He regretted what he had said about waiting seven years.  He hadn't meant it, and it had obviously hurt her, a lot.  He hadn't really been angry with her – he was angry at the situation.  He knew that she had a point – he had always recognized that any relationship between them could not interfere with the running of the ship, and he had respected that.  Hearing the words come out of her mouth, though, when he thought she was so close to relenting, had made him frustrated since he knew she was right, and he had taken that frustration out on the nearest object – Kathryn.  He was afraid she might never forgive him for the scene in the turbolift just now. 

He tried to pull himself together when he heard voices coming up behind him in the corridor, and he started walking towards the holodeck. 

"Chakotay!" came Tom's voice as he came up behind him with Ensign Kim. 

"Where's the Captain?" asked Harry. 

"Uh…she had work to do." 

"And you couldn't drag her away from it?  Maybe Harry and I will give it a try later.  If I can pull him away from Megan Delaney, that is." 

"Not likely," muttered Harry with a grin. 

"I don't think that's a good idea," Chakotay covered. "She really does have a lot to do.  I don't think you'll get anywhere.  She can be as stubborn as a Klingon when she wants to be." 

"Hey, I live with two of those, so I'm the perfect person to try." 

Chakotay stopped and looked Tom in the eye. "Seriously, Tom – don't." 

"Okay," he said, surprised at Chakotay's tone of voice. "If she's going to be that hard to convince…"

_You have no idea, thought Chakotay bitterly. _

*    *    *

On the bridge the next day, the tension was palpable.  Tom felt it as soon as Captain Janeway stepped out of the turbolift.  Her greeting was terse and forced, and she took her seat with only a sideways glance at the Commander.  She spoke only when necessary, and looked at the PADD in her hands like it was the most interesting thing she had read in months.  Tom sighed – if she was in that bad a mood, this was going to be a long day. 

Tom relaxed a little when about twenty minutes after she had entered the bridge, the Captain retreated to her ready room and left the bridge to Chakotay.  When the doors shut behind her, Tom looked around with a frown.  Usually when the Captain was having a bad day, she left and tried to keep it to herself, and the bridge returned to normal.  This time, however, the atmosphere on the bridge still seemed tense after her departure.  He caught Harry's eye at Ops and raised an eyebrow.  Harry shrugged, but returned his attention to his station when he noticed Tuvok staring at him from across the bridge.  Tuvok then looked at Tom with a raised eyebrow, and Tom turned back around to the viewscreen. 

Tom began to wonder if it was Chakotay and not the Captain who was in a bad mood.  She had acknowledged him, tersely, when she arrived, he remembered, but the Commander hadn't so much as blinked.  Not only that, but Chakotay wasn't saying anything to anyone, and was unusually somber.  He wondered if they had had some kind of disagreement.  That also explained why there was such a tension on the bridge still.  Whatever the problem was, he hoped that the two of them worked it out, and soon – he couldn't take much more of this quiet on the bridge.

*    *    *

The assembled officers stared at the screen in Astrometrics as it displayed dozens of planetary systems contained in a three-dimensional colored blob. 

"This is the territory controlled by the Brennin," explained Seven. "Over 65 inhabited systems, and nearly a thousand vessels." 

"Defenses?" asked Mark. 

"They have a sophisticated security grid around the perimeter, along with several patrol vessels.  I would be difficult to cross their borders without their knowledge." 

"And they're certainly not going to let us through voluntarily," said the Captain bitterly.  They had contacted the Brennin on several occasions over the past few days, but they were suspicious and hostile and were not willing to negotiate passage through their space.  They believed that Voyager was conspiring with their enemies, and would not be convinced otherwise. 

"Getting past the perimeter is not the only difficulty," said Seven.  "They have several fleets of ships that patrol within their space, and the security grid extends throughout their territory.  They would most likely be able to follow our every move." 

"We'd be running for it the entire way," said B'Elanna grimly. 

"Can we go around it?" asked the Captain. 

"Yes – but it would take us well over six months at maximum warp."  As she spoke, Seven entered some commands on the console next to her and a line was traced around the blob that was Brennin space. 

The Captain frowned.  "I don't like either of those choices.  Are there any other options?" 

"We can take a short cut without entering Brennin space," said Talia.  She moved over to Seven's console and another considerably shorter course was plotted around Brennin space, in the opposite direction from Seven's suggested course. 

"It would take us a month longer than the direct route, but we wouldn't be in their territory." 

"You're right," said Harry. "We'd be in a war zone." 

"A war zone?" repeated Janeway, looking at Talia with a raised eyebrow. 

"The course Lieutenant Oren suggests would take us in between Brennin space and the territory claimed by the Kesseret," explained Seven.  "The region is in dispute and the two races are at war.  Long range sensors have detected weapons fire in multiple locations." 

"I'm not sure I like the idea of taking Voyager into the middle of an alien conflict," said the Captain hesitantly. 

"If they're busy fighting each other, they won't notice us," argued Talia. "And even if they did, we're capable of defending ourselves.  Besides, this way we won't have to deal with bypassing the perimeter grid and travelling through the heart of Brennin space." 

"Yeah," said Tom. "But we would also have _two hostile species on our tail instead of one." _

They all looked at the Captain and waited for a decision.  She closed her eyes and concentrated.  She didn't like any of the choices in front of her – make a detour and lose six months, violate the territory of a species who had specifically forbidden them to cross their borders and try and avoid them until they were safely across, or take Voyager into the middle of a war zone. 

"We'll take Lieutenant Oren's course," she announced after a minute. Many of them stared at her in surprise. 

"Captain?" said Tom. 

"She's right – it will be easier to cross through a region that's in dispute and isn't surrounded by a security grid.  I don't like the idea of violating Brennin space and trying to outrun them on their own turf, and I refuse to make a six month detour." 

Chakotay spoke up for the first time. "So you're going to just step into the middle of an alien conflict and worry about the problems later?  We could have trouble with the Brennin _and the Kesseret.  Aren't you afraid that it might get __complicated?"_

She frowned, not liking his insubordinate tone, and sensing a hidden meaning in his words. "What do you suggest, Commander? Adding six months to our trip?" 

He looked at her without moving. "Why get involved when you could take the easy way out?" 

She fully understood his meaning now, and was glad the rest of the crew didn't.  They were looking at their commanding officers with puzzled expressions – nobody seemed to know what was going on. 

"Excuse us," she said dangerously.  "Commander," she added, tilting her head to the opposite side of the room.  He followed her to the far side of the room, where she turned and faced him with her hands on her hips. 

Tom watched them with interest and tried to catch what they were saying.  The Captain looked furious, and Chakotay didn't look much happier.  _He must have been pretty angry to question the Captain's decision in front of everyone, thought Tom. _

They were speaking in hushed tones, so he was unable to hear what they were saying until the Captain's voice rose and he caught the words 'happen between us.'  His eyes widened, but just then Janeway glanced in his direction and caught him watching her, so he turned away and pretended to ignore them. 

As soon as she and Chakotay reached the corner, Kathryn put her hands on her hips aggressively and glared at him. 

"I don't appreciate you questioning my orders in front of the crew, _Commander," she whispered furiously. "If you have a problem with me, fine, but – "_

"But what? You want me to pretend I don't have any feelings?  I'm not you." 

She started, surprised at his hostile tone, and hurt by his words. 

"What did you expect me to do? Just go on like nothing happened?" he continued in the same angry whisper. 

"No." She took a step closer and somehow managed to stare him down despite her short stature. "I _expect you to continue to act as a responsible First Officer, despite any personal differences between us." _

"Personal differences?" he said incredulously, almost spitting the words out. 

"Call it whatever you like," she told him. "If you can't understand or respect my decision, I can accept that.  But don't you _dare bring it into our command relationship, because then it affects my crew.  They shouldn't have to deal with the fallout from anything that did or did not happen between us." Her voice had been getting steadily louder during this speech, and she looked around quickly to see if anyone had heard them.  Tom Paris was staring at them with a wide-eyed expression on his face, but as soon as she looked at him he turned away sheepishly. __Damn, she thought.  Tom Paris was too observant for his own good. _

"This is exactly what I was talking about," she said in a more controlled voice. "We have a fight off-duty, but it doesn't stay off-duty, and look what happens." 

Chakotay thought for a moment and realized she was at least partially right.  He had accused her before of making their professional disagreements personal, but now he was taking a personal argument and making it professional. 

Kathryn stared at him in silence with one hand on her hip and the other at her side.  She took her hand off her hip and massaged the sharp headache that was taking root in her temples. 

"I had hoped that we could work through this," she said sadly after a minute. "Your friendship is important to me. _You're important to me." _

"Just not more important than your ship." 

"No," she said simply, sounding disappointed. "And I thought you knew that, Chakotay.  Voyager will always come first." 

He looked away for a moment, trying to calm down, but was unable to hold his tongue. "How convenient for you."  He turned back to her and looked her in the eye.  "You told me once that you had been using your fiancé back home as a safety net, an excuse to avoid becoming involved.  It seems to me that you've found a new safety net – Voyager.  As soon as I get too close, you tell me that the ship comes first." 

Her eyes widened – that comment stung her to the core.  She was furious, and could feel her heart pounding as she tried to calm down.  

"Voyager is not my _safety net," she whispered furiously. "It's my __responsibility.  I promised this crew that I would get them home and nothing – __nothing – is going to interfere with that." _

She realized that their argument was quickly getting out of control, so she stepped back from him and took a deep breath.  She glanced over at her staff, and could see that they were all watching her and Chakotay despite their pretense of working.  She turned her head slightly towards them without taking her eyes off the ground. 

"Would you all excuse us, please?" she said quietly, but loud enough to get their attention.  Some of her officers looked at each other with surprise and concern, but they complied and began to file out of Astrometrics.  She looked at some of their faces as they moved towards the door, and was surprised at the apprehension she encountered there. 

After the last person had left, she took another deep breath and turned away from Chakotay, moving to the other side of the now empty room.  Reaching one of the consoles on the opposite wall, she put her hands on it and leaned forward, bowing her head and trying to calm down. 

"What makes you think it would interfere?" 

Chakotay's voice startled her and she turned around to face him.  "I'm sorry?" 

He took a step towards her, his hostile expression matching his tone.  "What makes you think our having a relationship would stop us from getting home?" 

"I can't afford distractions, Chakotay.  It would be detrimental to the ship." 

"How can you be sure?" he demanded. 

"How can I be sure?" she repeated.  "This!  Look at us, Chakotay - we can't even have a staff meeting without drastic effects.  Did you see their faces?" she asked, stepping towards him and pointing towards the door.  "When we fight, it affects the entire crew." 

He had no answer right away, and stared resolutely at the floor.  She sighed and stepped around him, moving back to the other side of the room.  She turned around to face him again, and when she did he finally spoke. 

"I'll admit that our fights have a negative effect on the crew," he said. "But you haven't given me any reason to think that we shouldn't give this a try." 

"It would interfere with my duties," she said firmly. 

"That's not good enough." 

"It's too complicated," she said in an angrier tone. 

"You said that already," he snapped. 

Her eyes darted back and forth across his face as she searched for some justification.  "A Captain can't become involved with her First Officer," she insisted after a moment. 

"Dammit, Kathryn," he said angrily, "This is no time for protocol." 

"You want me to just ignore my principles?" 

"This isn't about your principles, Kathryn, this is about us.  You and me.  Nobody else." 

"My decisions have an impact on the entire crew." 

"I realize that, but this is about what you want.  I think we could make this work, if you'll just give it a chance." 

"I can't." 

"Kathryn --" he began angrily, but she interrupted him. 

"I won't!" 

Taking a deep breath, she stepped back and turned away from him, leaning against the wall with one arm.  After calming down for a moment, she took another deep breath and spoke quietly.  "This is my fault."  She turned around slowly, rubbing the side of her head.  "I should never have led you to believe that anything could happen between us.  I'm sorry." 

She tried to make eye contact with him, hoping to bridge the gap between them, and after a few moments he looked up from his feet and met her gaze. 

"Kathryn," he said quietly after a few seconds, watching her carefully, "We could make this work." 

She sighed.  This wasn't going to be resolved as easily as she had hoped.  "No," she said shaking her head.

He stiffened.  "That's it?  Just 'no'?" 

"I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner," she said quietly. 

He stepped closer to her.  "Why?" 

"You know why." 

"No, I don't.  You can't be sure of that until you try, and you haven't given me reason enough to believe you."  He slowly moved closer to her, and his voice softened.  "Kathryn, after all that we've been through, don't you think you owe it to me, to yourself, to give this a chance?  To explore our feelings for each other?" 

Now they were treading on dangerous ground.  "You're assuming a lot, Commander," she said coldly, taking a step back. 

He looked genuinely surprised at that, and hurt.  "I guess I am," he said finally, appraising her.  "What changed, Kathryn?" 

"Nothing," she said quietly, looking at the floor.  "Nothing," she repeated more firmly, looking him in the eye.  "I made a mistake, and now I'm rectifying it." 

He sighed again and closed the distance between them, reaching out to put his hand on her arm.  She recoiled at the contact and took a step away from him, backing up against the wall.  He closed his eyes and tilted his head down with a heavy sigh. 

He backed away from her slightly.  "It doesn't have to be this way, Kathryn," he said softly. 

She looked up at him slowly, the pain obvious in her eyes.  "Yes," she said.  "It does." 

The absolute finality in her voice was the definitive blow, and it showed on Chakotay's face.  His expression darkened, and his posture stiffened.  Shaking his head sadly, he turned away from her abruptly and walked out the door. 


	2. The Status Quo

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

SUMMARY:  Chakotay and the Captain try to work out their differences and have both rewarding and unpleasant contact with home.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

AWAKENINGS

CHAPTER TWO : THE STATUS QUO

Something was definitely going on.

Tom looked around the bridge with a concerned frown.  The situation between Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay, whatever it was, had improved only minimally in the two days since their fight in Astrometrics.  The tension on the bridge was less noticeable, although it was still there, but Tom still had the impression that his commanding officers weren't speaking to each other more than necessary.  Chakotay had barely volunteered ten words during this morning's briefing, and when the Captain had addressed him he had been as brief as possible. 

The Captain had left the bridge as soon as her shift was over, as per her habit over the last few days.  Tom knew that was a bad sign -- she usually stayed on the bridge for hours after her shift was over.  He couldn't even remember the last time she had left the bridge precisely at 1800 hours.

Chakotay was still on the bridge sitting in his chair, but his attention seemed to be elsewhere.  He had spent the entire morning either staring out into space with a grim expression or pretending to concentrate on the console beside his chair. 

Something was definitely going on.

Chakotay was aware of Tom's scrutiny, but he ignored it as he stared blankly at the console in front of him, finding it extremely difficult to concentrate.  He was still deeply troubled over what was happening between him and Kathryn. 

He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been in the days following their fight in the turbolift.  He had been hurt when she'd pulled away from him, but he wished now that he'd given her some space and time to think instead of lashing out at her.  He could have talked to her instead, tried to convince her that they could make a relationship work.  Although that was what he had tried to do in Astrometrics, they had both been far too angry to have any kind of rational conversation.  The better course of action, in hindsight, would have been to sit down with her and talk about it. 

He realized now, after going over every detail of both their arguments in his mind, that she was probably just as hurt as him.  He could still picture the pained expression on her face just before he had walked out on her in Astrometrics.  He had been far too upset and angry to notice it at the time, but remembering it now gave him a pang of regret.  At first, he hadn't been sure of the source of his regret – he was sorry she was hurt, but it was her own doing.  She was the one who was refusing to pursue a relationship, not him.  However, he had still felt as though he had done something wrong.  It had taken him many hours of introspection to figure out why – he felt guilty because of the sacrifice she was making.  She had all but told him that she shared his feelings, but she had put the welfare of the ship ahead of herself.  He should have helped her with that decision and supported her, but he had been too absorbed by his own sense of loss and betrayal to consider what she was going through. 

Until the heated argument in Astrometrics, they had barely spoken ten words to each other after the fight in the turbolift.  Not that she hadn't tried – she had asked him twice to join her for lunch, but he had refused in such a manner that she had stopped asking.  If they hadn't been speaking, it was entirely his doing, and he regretted it. 

Tom was still watching Chakotay, but he moved his gaze to the turbolift when the doors opened and Seven stepped out.  She moved around the railing and down the stairs towards Chakotay.  He looked up at her when she approached him, and held his hand out for the PADD she extended towards him. 

"Is the Captain in her ready room?" 

Chakotay looked up from the PADD and stared at Seven for a few seconds before he shook his head.  "She's gone to her quarters for the night."  He kept his gaze on Seven just long enough to see her raise her eyebrow in surprise before he looked back at the PADD.  When he had given the report a cursory inspection, he started to hand it back to her, but stopped midway and took it back. 

"I'll take this to her," he said. 

Taken aback, Seven looked at him for a moment before she nodded and went to leave the bridge. 

Chakotay pushed himself out of his chair and moved slowly towards the turbolift.  It was about time he and Kathryn tried to patch things up, and this was as good an excuse as any.  Maybe if she was calmer he would be able to reason with her.

Kathryn slowly lowered her book and turned her head to look out the windows, watching the stars go by without really seeing them.  It was quiet enough in her quarters to hear the gentle hum of the engines, but for once the silence disturbed her because it only added to her feeling of isolation.  Despite seeing Chakotay every day, she felt his absence in her life keenly.  They only spoke to each other when necessary.  There were no more breakfasts in the mess hall, no more casual chats over coffee, no more relaxing dinners.  She even missed him telling her to drink less coffee and not work so hard.  She smiled sadly – their estrangement now felt almost as bad as when she had thought he was dead. 

The chime on her doors startled her and she looked away from the window.  "Come," she said quietly.  She was surprised and relieved when her First Officer stepped quietly inside.  

Her quarters were quiet and the lights were dim, so it took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust enough to see her.  She was sitting in one of the chairs in the middle of the room, reading a book.  Her feet were up on a footstool, and there was classical music playing softly in the background.  She turned her head to the side when he entered, and she raised her eyebrows slightly. 

"Commander," she said softly, closing her book.  "What can I do for you?" 

"I didn't think you'd want to wait until tomorrow to see these." He walked over and showed her the PADDs in his hands.  She took them, and he stood stiffly with his hands at his sides. 

"Seven's latest scans of the region," she said, perusing the information.

"She estimates it will take us about nine weeks to cross the disputed space, barring any course corrections to avoid the fighting."

She nodded and looked at the second PADD.  Her eyebrow went up.  "What's this?"

"A ship we encountered a few hours ago – an arms dealer who's working for the Kesseret.  When we introduced ourselves he mentioned a ship that was looking for us, just like that trader we encountered a few weeks ago." 

"Same story?" 

He nodded. "A rumor about a cargo vessel looking for a ship called Voyager trying to get home from halfway across the galaxy." She frowned as he continued. "The arms dealer was able to give us more information than Taleth, though.  We learned that the ship looking for us is probably an Hathoran trading vessel, and they may have been trying to negotiate passage through Brennin space just over a month ago."

"Hathoran – I don't think we've encountered that species, but they might have some kind of score to settle with us," she said after a minute. "Taleth mentioned a ship we destroyed, or something.  We should go to full tactical alert, just in case." 

"Yes, ma'am." 

His addressing her like that struck them both, and they looked up at each other uneasily.  She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out and she closed it again.  She removed her feet from the footstool and after a moment's hesitation he sat down.

"What's happened to us, Chakotay?" she finally said in a whisper edged with sadness.

He considered for a moment, but before he could think of something to say she answered her own question.

"Never mind," she said.  "I know what happened."  She took a deep breath.  "Where do we go from here?"

"I guess that's up to you," he said quietly. 

She shook her head.  "I can't do it, Chakotay.  I won't." 

He shut his eyes for a few seconds before he responded.  "How can you turn away from this?  I thought…I hoped that you…"  He left the sentence hanging, but he could tell by the look on her face that he had gotten his meaning across. 

It took a long time before she answered.  "Whatever my feelings might be…that doesn't justify putting this crew at risk." 

He noticed that she had avoided the question, and could feel his frustration rising again. He tried to stop it before the words formed on his mouth.  He was able to hold his tongue for a few seconds but he finally blurted out, "Kathryn, we've been through this.  I know that you think this is best for the ship, but – "

"But what?" she said, her voice taking on a hard edge.  "You think I should put myself ahead of the welfare of 150 people?" 

There it was.  Her emotional shields that she kept so firmly in place had begun to fade for a second, but as soon as he tried to appeal to those emotions the shields went back up.  

"No," he said carefully, trying to keep their conversation from escalating into an argument.  "I think you need to realize that this doesn't threaten the safety of the ship." 

"The welfare of the crew isn't the only issue," she said. "The command structure has to be maintained at all costs."

"If you're going to start listing rules and regulations, Kathryn, I don't want to hear it." 

She exhaled sharply and looked out the window.  "Chakotay," she said, with a slow shake of her head. 

He watched her as she turned her head and stared out the window again.  He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her this upset.

"Is this how it's going to be from now on?" she said quietly.  "We can't even have a conversation without getting into an argument."  She gave a deep shuddering sigh.  "I wish…" she began, but her voice trailed off and she continued staring out the window. 

"What?" he said.  "That you hadn't kissed me?  That you hadn't let your guard down long enough for me to see how you feel?" 

She turned to look at him, and he could see in her eyes that was exactly how she felt.  "I wish things were the way they used to be," she said finally. 

"Is that what you want?" 

"Yes." 

He watched her for a few seconds before he answered.  "It's not that simple, Kathryn." 

She looked at him for a long time before she nodded in saddened acceptance and looked back out the window.  "I know." 

He sighed in disappointment and dropped his eyes to the floor before looking at her again.  He suddenly realized how important her friendship was to him, and he wished he had realized it sooner.  She was still staring out the window, allowing him to study her without her knowledge.  His eyes traced the contours of her face that were so familiar.  She was so important to him - he couldn't bear to lose her friendship, even if it meant giving up on any chance of having something more with her.  He vowed on the spot that he would stop pushing her to take their relationship to the next step.  If she didn't want – no, that wasn't right.  He knew she wanted the same thing as him.  If she thought that being anything more than friends would interfere with her duty to the ship, he would have to accept that.  He could live with his disappointed hopes as long as it meant she was still in his life.  Her friendship meant more to him than anything else, and he would do whatever he had to do to preserve it. 

"I'm sorry, Kathryn."

She turned back towards him, frowning in confusion.

"About the other day in Astrometrics," he continued.  "I never really apologized.  I was wrong to question you like I did, and I'm sorry." 

"You're no good to me if you follow my decisions blindly," she reminded him. "But next time – "

"In private – of course," he said. "But that's not what I'm apologizing for." He reached over and rested his hand on her knee. "I agree with your decision about going around Brennin space.  You know that's not what I meant." 

She put down the PADD on the footstool and looked at him carefully, waiting for him to continue.

"You were absolutely right.  I was bringing personal issues into our command decisions and I shouldn't have." He took a deep breath and decided that this was no time to hold anything back. "I was angry," he admitted. "Not with you, though.  I was frustrated because I knew you were right about what you said in the turbolift.  I'll admit I was disappointed, and I took that out on you unfairly.  I know it must have been hard for you to make that decision." He looked her in the eye so she could tell that he meant what he was telling her. "I'm sorry, Kathryn." 

"I never meant to hurt you, Chakotay," she whispered.  She took his hand that was sitting on her knee. 

"I know," he replied, and they sat in silence for a few moments, each basking in the comfort that they derived from the other's presence, a comfort that they hadn't really had in a long time. 

"I still don't agree, you know," Chakotay said finally. "With what you said in the turbolift." 

She sighed and closed her eyes, afraid they were going to start fighting again.  "I thought you said I was right." 

"I said you were right, but I don't agree with you." 

She opened her eyes and looked at him in confusion. "I don't understand." 

"You're right that we can't allow a relationship between us to affect the crew and the running of the ship.  You think that means nothing can ever happen between us.  I don't agree – I think we could make it work."

"I think we've already seen enough of what happens around here when we fight."

"Maybe…But we're working it out, aren't we?" He leaned closer to her. "Kathryn – can you honestly tell me that you don't think it would be worth the risk?" 

She looked at him in silence.  He was slowly breaking down her resolve that she had been building up, and she couldn't allow that.  She leaned back in the chair and looked up at the ceiling.  "I can't, Chakotay," she said, in a voice so quiet he had to strain to hear it.  At first, he thought that she was answering his question, telling him that she couldn't deny that it would be worth the risk, but when he looked closer at her face he realized that was not the case. 

"I can't," she repeated, sounding close to tears.  He realized suddenly that she was trying to convince herself as well as him, and his hopes rose.  Maybe he could change her mind after all. 

"I can't just walk away from this," he said quietly, and she looked at him again, surprised that he wasn't upset or angry. 

"I won't push you, though.  I'll accept that for now," he explained, "But I'm not going to stop trying to convince you otherwise.  Until I do, though, I'm more than happy just to be your friend and First Officer, if you'll have me." 

Moved by his words, she smiled affectionately at him. "Of course I will." 

He smiled, and instantly she felt the distance between them narrow.  Some of the damage that had been done over the course of their two fights was repaired, and for that she was grateful.  He was such an integral part of her life; she couldn't afford to lose his friendship or his support. 

He got up to leave but her voice stopped him before he left the room. 

"Chakotay…" She trailed off, uncertain what she wanted to say or how to express the relief she was feeling.

He smiled at her.  "I know, Kathryn.  Me too." 

She returned his smile.  "Good night." 

"Good night, Kathryn."

*    *    *

The Captain looked up from her desk when the chime to her ready room sounded.  "Yes." 

She was unsurprised when Chakotay entered.  He walked up to her desk and stood with his hands on his hips, raising one eyebrow. 

"Something I can do for you?" she said, slightly annoyed. 

"Aren't you calling it a night?" 

She shook her head.  "I have work to do." 

He reached over and pulled the PADD she was reading out of her hands.  "Hm…I can see that," he said playfully, his eyebrow going higher.  "B'Elanna's monthly analysis of dilithium usage?" 

She reached over and snatched the PADD back.  "Something else I can do for you?" 

"Come have dinner with me in the mess hall." 

She looked up, surprised.  She hoped the relief wasn't too obvious on her face when she realized that it was an innocent invitation. 

"I've got a lot of reports to read," she insisted. 

"Captain, your shift ended over an hour ago.  Those reports will still be here in the morning." 

She sighed, beginning to waver. 

"Kathryn…"

"All right," she said, holding up her hand.  "I'll just finish this one and I'll go over the rest tomorrow." 

He nodded in satisfaction.  "See you in the mess hall?" 

She nodded, but she was already focused on the PADD as he turned for the door. 

"Captain?" 

She looked up at him as he stood in the doorway. "Hm?" 

"If you're still in here in twenty minutes, I'm going to send Tuvok to drag you out." 

She chuckled.  "That won't be necessary, I promise." 

He grinned at her and left. 

She turned her attention back to the report, but looked up after a few seconds at the door where he had been standing moments ago.  Despite her pretence of being annoyed, she had missed his attention to her well-being.  His concern for her was one of the things that endeared him to her.  It was a part of her day that she hadn't even missed until it was gone.  She decided to take it as a good sign – perhaps their friendship wasn't beyond repair after all.

Chakotay was waiting for the Captain in the mess hall when he was approached by two of the Maquis crewmen, Ensign Tabor and Crewman Dalby. 

"Could we have a word with you, sir?" asked Tabor.

"Sure.  Have a seat."

Dalby glanced around.  "Could we do it in your office?"

Chakotay glanced past them towards the door.  Unless she had broken her promise about being there within twenty minutes Kathryn would be there any minute, but the crew came first.

He nodded, and rose to follow them out the door.  Just as they were leaving, they passed Commander Walker entering the mess hall.

Chakotay told Tabor and Dalby to wait up while he stopped Mark.

"Could you do me a favor?"

Captain Janeway entered the mess hall, and her eyes roamed the mess hall as she frowned -- there was no sign of Chakotay.  Commander Walker was sitting at an empty table, and when he saw her he walked over to meet her.

"Commander Chakotay had something to take care of."

She smiled knowingly.  "Let me guess.  He told you to make sure I eat."

He put on an innocent expression.  "Nothing of the sort.  Of course, if you have to eat and I have to eat, we could always…"

She held her hand up to stop him with a chuckle.  "Never mind, I can smell his interference a lightyear away.  But I would love to join you for dinner."

"There's one thing I'd like to know before I agree to that, Captain."

"What's that?" 

He grinned and leaned over to ask her quietly, "What's pleeka rind casserole?" 

She couldn't smell the distasteful dish yet, and quickly realized that Mark had picked it up from Neelix, or one of the crew.  She rolled her eyes dramatically. 

"Not again," she groaned.  She turned and whispered back to him. "Just be glad there's no leola root in it."

"Leola what?" 

"You don't want to know." 

His eyes darted back and forth across her face for a moment before he winced. "Too late," he muttered. "I can tell that you didn't enjoy it." 

She laughed and they moved towards the kitchen. "That's nothing – you should have seen his first attempts at coffee." 

He grimaced.  "No thanks.  Coffee the consistency of molasses?  That's just wrong." 

She turned to him as they waited to get their food. "You're very good," she said carefully, referring to his telepathic abilities.  She wondered how much he knew about what was on her mind concerning Chakotay – that was definitely something she wanted to keep private. 

"Your mind is very focused.  It makes it easier to pick up thoughts.  I didn't mean to upset you, though," he added. "I'm very careful about what I pick up – I don't probe or anything.  I'll try to stop since it's making you uncomfortable." 

She waved him off.  "Don't worry about it.  I can't believe that my mind's that interesting to read.  If you're looking for ship gossip, though, I recommend Tom Paris."

He chuckled, and they reached the front of the line. 

"Captain!" said Neelix jovially. "Good to see you.  You picked a good day to join us for dinner – it's pleeka rind casserole today." 

"Lucky me," she said with a smile and a sideways glance at Mark.  He tried to keep from laughing as Neelix gave them both heaping servings of the meal.

Eyeing their plates warily, they made their way to a table and sat down.

She sighed as she poked at her food. "You know, Neelix may be an invaluable member of the crew, but it's days like this I wonder why I _ever let him cook." _

"Well, I understand he's convinced Lieutenant Paris to organize a ship-wide pool tournament on the holodeck to take their minds off the 24-hour tactical alert." 

She looked up from her plate.  "Sandrine's?"

He grinned.  "And I understand you're quite good at it.  You should give our Lieutenant Blake a run for his replicator rations."

"Oh, I won't be playing."

"You're just going to let my crew walk all over yours then, are you?"

"Not at all.  Lieutenant Paris is quite proficient himself."

"Well, if I can't convince you to participate I hope you'll at least show up to watch Nathan wipe the floor with Mr. Paris."

She sighed and shook her head with a chuckle.  "You've been talking to Chakotay."

"What makes you say that?"

She merely stared at him and raised an eyebrow.  

"He thought it would be good for the crew if you came."

She continued to stare at him, and her eyebrow climbed higher.

Mark gave up.  "And he thought it would be good for you to relax."

She chuckled.  "That man is incorrigible."

"He thought I might have more success since --"

"Since you're telepathic?  It figures he would recruit somebody to read my mind for him."

Mark smiled to himself and looked down at his plate.

"Something funny?" she asked.

"Not really." He took a bite of his food, and then looked at her again. "Are you sure he's not a telepath?" 

"Who – Chakotay?" She laughed. "Not that I'm aware of.  Why?" 

"Because I think the last thing he needs help with is reading your mind."

The smile on her face faded immediately.  That was too close to the truth for comfort. "I think so too, sometimes," she said carefully, wondering whether Mark could sense her feelings for Chakotay. 

"And I have a feeling you can read his.  I've never seen anything like it," he continued, amazed.  "Except maybe in people who've known each other their whole lives.  You've only known each other seven years?"

"Almost – but that's a long time when you're isolated on a ship." 

"Maybe," he conceded. "But still, it's incredible.  I noticed it when we were on the Vaadwaur ship, but I'm amazed that I can still sense it now." 

She knew that she should change the subject, but her curiosity got the better of her.  "What, exactly?" 

He thought for a moment. "It's hard to describe, really.  It's like…your minds are working together.  You're connected somehow.  Sometimes it's almost impossible to distinguish your thoughts when I'm with you together.  You each know what the other is thinking, what they're feeling, what they're going to say next.  Your thoughts both follow the same path."

"Great minds think alike," she chuckled sarcastically. 

"That's exactly it – you do think alike.  It's like you're on the same page before either of you says anything."

"That's what comes of working with someone for seven years." 

"It's more than just that, and you know it, Captain.  You don't just work well together, you understand each other completely." He leaned forward and lowered his voice. "I get the sense that he knows you better than you know yourself.  Better than anyone around here does." 

"Even you?" she said, raising an eyebrow. 

He chuckled and shook his head. "I may be empathic but I'm only scratching the surface.  You and Chakotay know each other on a much deeper level." 

She thought about it for a moment while she ate and realized that he was right – Chakotay knew her extremely well.  She had a feeling that he understood her like nobody ever had – not even her ex-fiancé.

When that thought crossed her mind, she froze.  Comparing Chakotay to Mark back home had implications that she didn't want to consider right now, especially in the present company. 

"It's a shame more command teams aren't like that," continued Mark, and he shook his head. "They should strand every First Officer and Captain in the middle of nowhere for a few years – the command structures would be a lot more efficient." 

She stabbed at her food with her fork. "It can cause more problems that it solves, sometimes," she muttered, then froze.  That had slipped out accidentally – she hadn't meant to reveal that much about the recent problems between her and Chakotay, especially with a Betazoid across the table from her.  She glanced at him, and could tell by the way he was nonchalantly toying with his food that he had picked it up.  She was grateful when she looked over his shoulder and saw Adin Jarel making her way towards their table.

"Lieutenant," said the Captain as she joined them.  "Care to join us?"

"Thank you, Captain," said the young Bajoran, "But I've got other plans."  She turned to Mark.  "Don't tell me you've forgotten already."

He winced.  "Oh, right."

"Velocity?  On the holodeck?  1900 hours?"

He frowned and glanced at the chronometer.  "It's only 1903.  Is it my imagination of did I have to reprimand you twice for being late for duty shifts when you were first assigned to the Yukon?"

"Actually, sir, it was three times."  She grinned.  "I just figured you had chickened out.  You've never beaten my Bajoran reflexes in five years."

"You're a year out of practice, Jarel.  And don't forget I know your moves before you make them."  He pushed his chair back from the table and stood up with a grin.  "We'll see who chickens out."  He turned to the Captain.  "If you'll excuse me, Captain."

"Don't let me get in your way."

He nodded and started to follow Jarel, but when he passed her chair he leaned down and spoke close to her ear. "I meant what I said, Kathryn.  Finding somebody who knows you that well is rare – it's a once in a lifetime thing.  It's a shame to just sit there and try to return to the status quo when it could be so much more – for both of you.  There may be risks involved, but maybe it's something that's worth fighting for." 

She was too surprised to reply right away, and before she had recovered he was gone and she was sitting alone at the table.

*    *    *

Chakotay entered Astrometrics and was surprised to see how many people were gathered there.  Dalby and Tabor had asked him yesterday to pool his three minutes of comm time with theirs and use it to contact the Federation ambassador to Cardassia and see what could be done about Sveta and the other Maquis still in prison.  Despite his plans to contact his sister, he had agreed to donate his comm time for the cause.  Of course, they had wanted him to speak for all of them.

"I guess I'll have quite an audience for my little chat," he chuckled.  There were almost a dozen of his former crew, including Tabor and Dalby, gathered in Astrometrics in anticipation of his conversation with the ambassador. 

"We're just here for moral support, sir," said Crewman Gerron with a grin. 

"As long as it's _quiet moral support," said Chakotay, pointing a finger at the gathered officers. "We won't get anywhere if all of you start talking or yelling at once.  No matter what the ambassador says, I don't want to hear a word from anyone until we're done talking – is that clear?" _

A chorus of "Yes sirs" came from the gathered Maquis, and they obediently moved over to the side of the room where they would be out of sight of the viewscreen.  Seven turned around from where she was working and nodded at Chakotay just as the monitor began to flicker.  When the image cleared, the frowning face of Ambassador Patkin appeared on the screen. 

"Commander Chakotay, I presume?" 

"That's right, Ambassador. I'm glad you agreed to speak to me." 

"Well, I'm a busy man, but I'll admit I was curious when Starfleet said that I would be getting a call from the Delta Quadrant." 

"I'd tell you about it, but I'm afraid we don't have much time for small talk – our comlink will only be active for a few minutes." 

"Very well – what can I do for you?" 

"I'm calling on behalf of myself and several of my crew.  We understand that several Maquis are still being held prisoner on Cardassia." 

"There are many prisoners still on Cardassia…but yes, some of them are Maquis." 

"Is there any chance that they'll be released?" 

The Ambassador snorted. "You're obviously not familiar with Cardassian prisons." 

"As a matter of fact, I am – more than I'd like to be." 

"If that's true, then you should know that nobody gets released." 

"Well, I understood that there was a new government.  I thought they might be more receptive to diplomacy." 

"Just because there's a new government doesn't mean they're any more lenient towards prisoners of war – the Maquis in particular." 

"Some of those Maquis are our friends and colleagues.  We were hoping –"

"Colleagues?" interrupted the Ambassador. "What were you doing collaborating with criminals? Is Starfleet Command aware that some of their officers were involved with the Maquis?" 

Chakotay saw some of the officers tense up out of the corner of his eye, and he frowned at them to make sure they kept quiet. 

"We're not originally Starfleet officers – we were Maquis ourselves.  When we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant seven years ago we merged with Captain Janeway's crew and have been serving under her ever since.  We heard from some of our friends back home about the Dominion war and the destruction and imprisonment of the Maquis.  Now, we were hoping you could use your position on Cardassia to get the Maquis prisoners released." 

"Absolutely not," snapped the Ambassador. "It's out of the question." 

He saw some of the crew get angry again, and he held up his hand to restrain them. "Why? It's not as if they pose a threat to Starfleet, or even the Cardassians.  The Maquis were slaughtered by the Dominion – surely there's no reason to imprison those who survived." 

"It doesn't matter," he replied gruffly. "Our relationship with the Cardassians is still fragile and I'm not going to risk a diplomatic incident because a few of your terrorist friends are in jail." 

"Can't we at least discuss –"

"There's nothing to discuss," he interrupted. "Good day, _Commander."_

With that, they were cut off and the screen went blank.  Chakotay sighed and over at the officers gathered near the wall.  Some of them were shocked, some were dejected, and many of them were angry. 

"Why would Starfleet pick such an incompetent moron as an Ambassador?" asked O'Donnell. 

"To get him away from them, obviously," retorted Jarvin. "If he's on Cardassia they don't have to put up with him." 

"I'm surprised they would pick somebody so obviously prejudiced against the Maquis," said Ayala, one of the few who had managed to remain calm.  "Ambassadors are supposed to be neutral." 

"They wouldn't let him on Cardassia if he sympathized with us," pointed out Jarvin. 

"Call him back!" insisted Crewman Chell. 

"It's no good – he's not going to listen," said Crewman Jor resentfully. 

"Then we'll make him listen!" interjected Dalby. 

"Everybody calm down," said Chakotay, taking a step towards them. "He won't help us, so we'll find somebody else who will.  There's nothing we can do about it right now, so why don't we discuss this some other time." 

"While our friends just sit in Cardassian prisons?" asked O'Donnell. 

Chakotay frowned at him. "Not now," he said, in a voice that indicated it was an order. 

Most of the gathered officers started to file out, and most thanked him for the effort as they left.  Soon the only ones left in the room were Tabor, Jor, Chell and Dalby. 

"What a waste of comm time," said Jor with a sigh. 

"We've still got seven minutes," said Tabor. "Did you still want to call your sister, Commander?" 

Chakotay thought for a moment, and a new idea came to him.  "Do any of you have somebody you want to contact?" 

"Not me," said Tabor. 

"I don't have anybody," offered Kenneth Dalby. 

"I've got a sister, but my time is in three days, so I can wait," said Jor. 

"All our friends that aren't on Voyager are either dead or in prison," added Chell. 

Chakotay nodded and moved over to where Seven was working.  "Are you calling your sister, Commander?" asked Jor. 

"No," he said with a smile. "_We may not have anybody back home anxious to talk to us, but I know somebody who does. Can you put me through to Pathfinder headquarters?" he asked Seven. _

She raised an eyebrow, but nodded and turned back to her console. 

After a few seconds, the face of an unfamiliar ensign appeared on the large Astrometrics screen. "Yes?"

"I'm looking for Lieutenant Barclay," said Chakotay, moving back to the middle of the room. 

"Hey, Reg!" yelled the ensign over his shoulder. "There's a transmission here for you." 

Lieutenant Barclay's face came into view and his eyes widened when he saw who was at the other end. "C-Commander Chakotay – what a p-pleasant surprise.  How are things in the..uh..Delta Quadrant?" 

"I'm afraid I don't have time to chat, Lieutenant – I was hoping you might know how I could reach Phoebe Janeway." 

"I can find out – we have contact information for everyone on Voyager.  Just a minute." 

The eyes of the others in the room widened in understanding and they grinned.  "See you later, Commander," said Tabor, and they filed quickly out of the room.  He nodded at them and turned back to the terminal as Reg spoke again. 

"Yes, here it is.  Uh…she's on Bajor.  Do you want me to put you through directly?" 

"Yes, if you don't mind." 

"I'm setting up the comlink now." 

The screen went blank, and while he waited Chakotay hit his commbadge. "Chakotay to Janeway." 

_Janeway here._

"Could you come down to Astrometrics right away? It's urgent." 

_I'm on my way._

Just then, a woman's face appeared on the screen in front of Chakotay.  She looked to be about forty, but she was quite pretty and had long reddish blond hair pulled up behind her head.  Her face was smudged with brown clay, and she was wiping more clay off her hands with a small towel.  He thought he could see a family resemblance, but he wanted to make sure who she was. 

"Phoebe Janeway?" 

"Yes," she replied with a smile.  He could see the resemblance even more when she smiled – she had the same amused and curious look on her face that Kathryn got sometimes. 

"I'm Commander Chakotay," he said. "I'm your sister's First Officer." 

Her smile got even wider. "Kathryn? You're calling from Voyager?"  The smile faded quickly, though, and her face clouded over. "Oh God," she said nervously. "Did something happen to Kathryn?" 

"No, she's fine," he assured her. "As a matter of fact, she's on her way here as we speak." 

Her shoulders sagged with relief and she smiled again. "If you don't mind me asking, why am I talking to you instead of her?" 

"She refused to take comm time away from her crew since she talks with Starfleet for a few minutes a day."

"Sounds like Kathryn – I suppose you had to trick her into talking to me." 

Out of the corner of his eye, Chakotay saw Seven of Nine glance at him with a smirk. 

"Not really…but she doesn't know she's going to talk to you yet.  Three of us pooled our comm time, but our conversation was shorter that we anticipated so we're giving her what's left.  If she's fast enough getting here you should have about five minutes." 

"Thank you." She paused for a moment and then leaned closer to the screen with a hand under her chin, a gesture Chakotay had seen Kathryn use dozens of times. "Can I ask you something – is she lonely?" 

"I think she is sometimes," he admitted, "But we all do our best to keep her from feeling isolated." 

"I'm glad to hear it.  I'm sure she's in good hands." 

The doors slid open and Kathryn strode in.  She didn't even get half a step before she saw the familiar face on the screen and froze.  She looked quickly at Chakotay before taking a few tentative steps towards the middle of the room. 

"Phoebe!" she said, still reeling from the surprise. 

"Hello, Kathryn.  It's good to see you." 

She looked at Chakotay in disbelief.  "I thought you were having some trouble with the Ambassador." 

"We were," he said with a mischievous grin.  "He cut us off." 

"You said it was urgent." 

Phoebe huffed.  "What, talking to your favorite sister isn't urgent?" she said with mock annoyance. 

"You're my only sister," retorted Kathryn as a smile spread slowly across her face.  "But it's good to see you anyways.  How are you?" 

Chakotay started to step away from her to give her some privacy, but she shook her head and indicated to him to stay.  He raised his eyebrows, but kept his position beside her.  She gave his arm a quick affectionate squeeze before turning her attention back to her sister. 

"I'm good," said Phoebe, her voice breaking. "I'm working as an art teacher here on Bajor and studying at one of their art institutes.  I was out of touch for a while, and I hear I missed some excitement.  Mom said you were kidnapped?" 

"I'd rather not spend the few minutes we've got talking about _that," said Kathryn firmly, trying not to get too emotional. _

"Fine then – let's talk about you.  How are you holding up?" 

"I manage." 

"Admiral Paris told Mom that you feel responsible for getting stranded out there.  It's not your fault, Kathryn.  You had no choice." 

She didn't answer for a moment, but finally sighed.  "You obviously don't know the whole story." 

"I know you saved an entire civilization of people at the expense of not getting home.  How would you have felt if you had let them all die just so you could get home?" 

She smiled. "You sound like my crew." 

"Well, I hope you're not just shutting yourself up in your quarters.  That's what you always used to do when we were little and you felt guilty about something.  Daddy used to have to come up and pull you out by your ears." 

"I couldn't even if I wanted to.  I even tried once, but Chakotay came to drag me back into the real world kicking and screaming all the way." 

"Really?" she said with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.  "I like you already, Commander." She leaned closer to the screen and her grin widened. "So…are you two…_close?"_

Kathryn cleared her throat and glared at her sister in an attempt to get her to lay off the innuendos. 

"Very," she said. "He's one of the closest _friends I've ever had." _

"Fine, I'll ask you about it some other time." 

"What about you?  The last time we spoke, you were seeing somebody…a Starfleet diplomat?" 

"That was eight years ago, Kathryn…didn't Mom tell you?" 

"Tell me what?" 

"I sent you a letter when we first made contact a few years ago…"

Kathryn shook her head. "The communications array we used was destroyed before we got all the letters."

Phoebe's eyebrows went up. "I guess she left it up to me.  If I'd known you hadn't gotten my letter, I would have written you when they started using the MIDAS array.  I just assumed you knew.  I'm married – for over five years now." 

"You're kidding," said Kathryn, surprised that her mother hadn't mentioned it at all. "Phoebe, that's wonderful." 

"His name's Liam.  He's a music professor at Julliard back on Earth, but he took leave to come to Bajor with me." 

"I'd love to meet him." 

"Oh," said Phoebe, obviously disappointed.  "He's not here.  I know he'd be thrilled to meet you, too.  He loves bragging to all his students that his sister-in-law is the best Captain in the 'Fleet." 

"The best Captain in Starfleet? Same old Phoebe – exaggerating everything," said Kathryn with a soft chuckle. 

"Says who? I'm not worried about whether you'll get home or not.  I'm more concerned about _you."_

"I'm fine." 

"That's what you always say. I'm serious." 

"So am I – I really am fine." 

"All right – but maybe Commander Chakotay and I can have a little chat again sometime, and if he tells me different…"

"Don't believe everything he tells you." Kathryn gave Chakotay an affectionate grin over her shoulder. "He worries about me way too much." 

"Good – you need somebody like that in your life." 

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself." 

"Same old Kathryn – too independent for your own good.  When are you going to let your guard down and admit that you need some companionship?  And don't tell me you're not lonely.  I can see it in your eyes and your First Officer isn't a very good liar." 

Kathryn was saved the trouble of replying when Phoebe spoke again. "Oh, good.  There's somebody here I want you to meet." 

A rush of footsteps could be heard. "Mommy!" squealed a young voice.  A young girl about three or four years old came into the picture and Kathryn's eyes widened as the child crawled onto her sister's lap. 

"Hi," said the young girl when she was settled. 

"Your daughter?" whispered Kathryn as her eyes became moist and lit up with a smile.  She moved her hand over to squeeze Chakotay's hand resting near hers on the console. 

Phoebe nodded, brushing the girl's short blond hair behind her ears. "I like to think she's your good luck charm – she was born on the exact day that Starfleet found out you were alive.  She was only two days old when we got the good news." Phoebe turned away from her daughter and looked at the screen again. "We named her after you." 

Kathryn's voice caught in her throat and she was unable to say anything before her sister continued, addressing the young girl in her arms, who had lost interest in the conversation and was playing with a small doll in her hands. "Katie, this is your aunt Kathryn." 

That got the girl's attention, and she looked at the screen in awe, her eyes wide in amazement. "The one on the starship?" she asked in disbelief. 

"That's right," said Kathryn, her voice breaking. 

"Voyager's very far away and you're trying to come home, and then you'll come see me and tell me all about your adventures." 

"Did your mommy tell you that?" 

Phoebe smiled and caressed the girl's cheek with her hand. "You're her favorite bedtime story," she said quietly. 

Kathryn squeezed her eyes shut to hold back tears and took a deep breath.  When she opened her eyes, she heard one of Seven's consoles beep. 

"Only a few more seconds, Captain," said Seven quietly. 

"We've only got a few more seconds before the link goes," Kathryn told her sister. 

"It was nice talking to you, Kathryn," said Phoebe. "And thank you, Chakotay.  If it weren't for you, I suppose it would have taken her months to get around to talking to me.  And Kathryn – next time you divide up the comm time among your crew, take some for yourself, okay?  Katie and I would love to talk to you again."  The picture started to become distorted. 

"I will," said Kathryn quietly. 

"Bye!" said Katie, and her waving at the screen was the last thing Kathryn saw before the link was lost and the image faded. 

Kathryn covered her mouth with her hand and tried not to cry.  Chakotay reached over and put his hand gently on her back.  When Kathryn had pulled herself together, she looked at him and spoke. 

"I'm her favorite bedtime story," she whispered emotionally. 

"By far your greatest achievement in the past seven years," he said with a smile. 

"Did Commander Walker put you up to this?" 

"What? No – the only time I've seen him this week was when we passed each other in the mess hall last night." 

"He hasn't talked to you?" she said, surprised. 

"No.  Why?" 

"No reason – it's just…I mentioned to him a few days ago that I would love a chance to talk to my sister and then today…" She paused and looked at him as if seeing him in a new light. "This was all your idea?" 

"It was an impulse," he said.  "We had seven minutes left and none of us has any real family to contact, so I automatically thought of you." 

"What about your sister?" 

He shrugged. "I would have liked talking to her, but…I hardly think I'm her favorite bedtime story." 

She smiled, but then it occurred to her to wonder why there had been time to spare in the first place.  "It didn't go well with the Ambassador?" 

"That's putting it mildly.  When he was finished accusing us of betraying Starfleet by collaborating with a bunch of terrorists, he refused to listen to us." 

"I'm sorry, Chakotay." She patted him affectionately on the arm. "I'll see what I can do." She lowered her voice and whispered conspiratorially, "I have some friends in high places." 

"That's not a good idea – I don't think you should be getting on Starfleet Command's bad side.  I don't want you getting involved with this." 

"After what you did for me today?  Consider it my way of thanking you." 

"Possibly jeopardizing your career is not my idea of thanks." 

"Well, then what?  What you did means a lot to me.  How can I ever repay you?" 

"Well, you can start by taking a break and joining us at Sandrine's tonight." 

"Consider it done.  I hear Lieutenant Blake's pool prowess will give Tom a run for his money." 

He grinned.  "You sure wouldn't want to miss that." 

"See you tonight." 


	3. The Decision

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

SUMMARY: The Captain reconsiders her actions since her rescue from the Vaadwaur.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

AWAKENINGS

CHAPTER THREE : THE DECISION

Captain Janeway moved around the crowded room in Sandrine's and over to the bar, where she got a glass of wine.  She could see Tom complaining to Harry over in a corner, gesturing wildly – he had just lost the final game of the pool tournament to Lieutenant Blake from the Yukon.  Tom's loss was his own fault – he had cockily challenged Nathan to a game without bothering to inquire whether the young man had ever played before.  It came out about halfway through the game that Nathan's father had been a fan of the game and he had been playing it since he was six years old.  The Captain saw B'Elanna sitting at a table by herself over in a corner, so she moved over to her table and sat down at her invitation. 

"Good game," she said as the Captain sat down. 

"That ought to deflate Tom's ego a little bit.  He can use a good humiliation every once in a while." 

"That might sound good to you, but I'm the one who has to live with him.  I'm not going to hear the end of this for a week." 

She chuckled. "If it helps I can have Chakotay assign him a few extra shifts in Sickbay." 

"No thanks – that just means more work for me caring for Miral.  Tom and I tend to alternate, so if he gets more Sickbay shifts that means less Miral shifts." 

"I'll keep that in mind.  Where is she, by the way?" 

"Ensign Wildman offered to look after her for the night." 

"Let me know if there's any way I can have Chakotay arrange the duty roster to accommodate you." 

"Thank you, Captain.  Actually, he already offered the same thing…I guess he didn't mention it to you," she added carefully. 

The Captain was surprised at her hesitant tone. "No, I don't think he did.  Why would he?  I let him handle the duty rosters, and it's rare that he even brings it to my attention." 

"Oh," said B'Elanna, sounding relieved. "Forgive me for saying this, Captain," she added after a moment, "But I'm glad you and Chakotay patched things up." 

"What?" 

B'Elanna's mouth dropped open in surprise. "Oh – I thought…I'm sorry, but Tom said…Didn't you two have a fight?" 

"You mean in Astrometrics? We had a…conflict of opinion – you were there." 

She shook her head. "Not that…I mean, before.  After we made contact with Starfleet." 

The Captain was about to deny it, but decided against it. "Yes," she admitted. "The night that Neelix threw a party to celebrate the daily communication, we had a…personal disagreement." 

She hadn't meant to reveal anything by that statement, but B'Elanna instantly guessed what had gone on.  Most of the senior staff had noticed the subtle change in the dynamic between their commanding officers since their return from their abduction, especially in the weeks following their rescue.  There had been rampant speculation that they were finally a couple – Tom said he had seen the Captain asleep in Chakotay's arms during their escape – but there hadn't been any conclusive evidence that they were in a relationship. 

The change a few weeks later had been even more evident.  There was a sudden distance between the Captain and the Commander, and it had been quickly followed by an unbearable tension whenever they were in the same room together.  B'Elanna assumed that this was after the 'personal disagreement' the Captain had just mentioned, and she would bet the warp core that the disagreement surrounded their relationship, or lack of one. 

Ship gossip – and it was _very discreet gossip – placed the Captain firmly on the negative side of this disagreement, while Chakotay was the one pushing for romantic involvement.  B'Elanna agreed with this, but she had her own theory – the Captain wanted a relationship but refused to put herself ahead of what she believed was the crew's best interests, and Chakotay wanted a relationship but hesitated to push her into something she didn't want to pursue. _

"Well, whatever it was," B'Elanna said finally, "I'm glad you worked it out.  The rest of us can't stand it around here when the two of you are fighting." 

Kathryn tensed, reminded of her conviction that a relationship with Chakotay would have an adverse effect on the crew. "Well, I apologize for that," she said. "We shouldn't let our problems affect the rest of the crew or the running of the ship." 

B'Elanna realized that she was referring to more than just their recent argument. "You know, the same thing used to happen with Tom and I – the entire engineering staff used to duck and cover whenever they heard that Tom and I were having problems.  They knew I'd want heads to roll if anyone got in my way." 

She didn't like B'Elanna comparing her relationship with Tom to Kathryn's relationship with Chakotay, but she certainly didn't want to confront her about it.  "I beginning to think that it's impossible to keep a personal life away from the running of the ship," she said. 

"No, it's not.  It just takes time and practice.  Remember when you reprimanded Tom and I for our…enthusiasm when we first started dating?" When the Captain nodded, she continued, "But we got over that and learned to keep our relationship separate from our duties.  We also had to learn how to make our relationship work so we wouldn't be carrying all our problems on duty with us." 

"That's different.  You don't have an entire ship under your command." 

"Maybe not…but I am the chief engineer, and I like to think that carries a lot of responsibility." 

"And you do a wonderful job, B'Elanna, but being the chief engineer is different from being Captain.  I don't have the luxury of a personal life – it would take me away from my duties.  I wouldn't be a good Captain if I allowed that to happen." 

B'Elanna was slightly insulted that the Captain thought that having a relationship somehow made you a worse officer, but she also saw an opportunity to make inroads on her resistance to a relationship with Chakotay. 

"Do you think my relationship with Tom has made me a worse engineer?" she said, offended. 

The Captian looked up, startled. "Of course not." 

"Well, you just said that it's impossible to keep your personal life off duty and that a relationship would be detrimental to job performance – would you rather replace me with somebody who's single? Joe Carey? Vorik?  Adin Jarel?" 

"No – I still believe you're the best engineer on the ship, and – "

"Not to mention that I'm married and have a baby daughter now," continued B'Elanna, interrupting her. "That should really make me a terrible officer." 

"You're a fine officer," she said firmly. "You're one of the best engineers I've ever known and you're extremely dedicated.  You've given me no reason to ever doubt my decision to make you chief engineer, and you've certainly managed to keep your personal life from affecting your duties." 

B'Elanna realized she was close to hitting home, and she leaned forward across the table and lowered her voice. "If I can do it, why can't you?" 

Kathryn saw too late what she'd walked into, and sat back in her chair, stunned.  She opened her mouth to reply, but couldn't think of anything to say. 

"If I can get married, have a child, and still be one of the best engineers you've ever known, why do you think you can't have a personal life?  You've certainly managed to keep your personal feelings off the job in the past." 

Finally recovering her voice, the Captain answered her. "What about the fight we had a couple of weeks ago? We were hardly able to keep that off duty, so what makes you think we could keep anything else away from the running of the ship?" 

"Maybe that's part of the problem – if you stopped fighting what you both want you would be able to control it." 

Over the Captain's shoulder, B'Elanna saw Tom, Chakotay, and a bunch of others approaching their table.

"If Tom and I can control ourselves, anyone can," she said quietly.  The Captain didn't have a chance to respond before they were joined at the table and she was unable to continue their conversation. 

The conversation at the table drifted away from her and she had a chance to think.  She began to realize with shock how much she had just unintentionally revealed to B'Elanna.  She had essentially admitted that she and Chakotay had fought about whether or not to pursue a relationship, which was something she had wanted to keep private at all costs.  Secondly, and more importantly, she had indirectly confessed that she wanted a relationship with Chakotay but was afraid that she wouldn't be able to command the ship as well if they were involved.  She hadn't realized that she was doing it – B'Elanna had assumed that she and Chakotay had feelings for each other, and she had been so busy defending her position that it hadn't occurred to her to deny that assumption. 

She began to think about some of the arguments that B'Elanna had made.  She had meant what she said – B'Elanna had never given her any reason to believe that her having a family affected her skills as an engineer.  She had complete confidence that B'Elanna would come through for the ship whenever necessary, even with the pressure she was under right now with a newborn baby.  B'Elanna and Tom really had managed to keep their relationship confined to their off hours – after a while anyway.  She began to seriously consider if B'Elanna might have a point – her and Tom were an excellent example of how a relationship could work without affecting the running of the ship.  She could remember many instances where one of them had been in some kind of danger, and she knew that she had always been able to count on the other despite the fact that their loved one was in trouble.  That was one of her arguments against a relationship with Chakotay, but she was beginning to doubt it.  She could remember times when either she or Chakotay had been in danger, and it had never done anything but heighten their ability to act to rescue each other, and she had no concrete reason to believe that would change if they were involved. 

She remembered what Mark had said to her the other day about how well Chakotay knew her.  She looked at him across the table.  He was deep in conversation with B'Elanna and didn't notice her scrutiny.  It amazed her sometimes how well he knew her – how he could guess her mood or cheer her up, and how he knew just what to say at the right time.  Mark was right – it was unique and nobody had ever known her that well in her life.  He glanced over at her and caught her staring at him, and she looked quickly away, but not before catching the pleasant surprise on his face at her watching him or the sly grin on B'Elanna's. 

"Captain?" 

Harry Kim's voice coming from beside her startled her out of her thoughts, and she realized that he had been talking to her. "I'm sorry, Harry, what?" 

"I was just saying that Seven suggested that we enhance the sensors to pick up faint energy traces from weapons fire.  That way we could avoid any areas where there had been recent fighting, and we might also be able to determine some kind of pattern in their attacks.  It might make it a lot easier to avoid getting involved in any of the conflicts." 

"Sounds good, Harry, but not right now.  Bring it up at tomorrow's briefing." 

He grinned. "Yes ma'am."  His attention was turned away from the Captain when Megan Delaney came up behind him and challenged him to a game of darts, and he excused himself and followed her across the room. 

"Harry's got it pretty bad," commented Tom beside the Captain. 

"Hmm?" she said, turning her head towards him. 

"He's fallen hard – you can tell by looking at him," he chuckled.  "I've seen it happen enough to know."

Kathryn smiled as she watched Harry and Megan interacting across the room. 

"They're good together," she commented thoughtfully. 

"And for once, Harry's crush isn't putting the ship in danger.  Irina, the Taresians, Marayna, Tal…this has to be his safest infatuation yet." 

She smiled, but his comment started her mind off on an unexpected tangent.  His mentioning the Varo woman, Tal, reminded her of a conversation she and Harry had had when she had reprimanded her for his actions then.  He had defended himself by claiming he was in love and asking her if she ever felt the way he did.  She could recall his exact words, because they had had a much deeper impact on her than she had ever admitted.  He had asked her if her skin ever flushed when she was near another person; if when she was apart from that person her stomach felt like it had been hollowed out with a knife; or if her throat ever swelled when she realized it was over.  She had responded using her ex-fiancé as an example, but the person that had really come to mind with that description was Chakotay.  She always felt different when she was around, and although she might not blush every time he was with her, she did feel complete somehow.  His description of the pain of being separated from someone had come to mind frequently during her recent fight with Chakotay when they had been barely speaking to each other.  She could still remember how awful she felt when he had left her alone in the turbolift, and the relief that had washed over her when they had finally worked passed it. 

She realized that she wasn't paying attention to the conversation at the table, but fortunately everyone's attention was fixed on Tom, who was telling a story of some sort, and nobody noticed her mind wandering.

She looked around the room at the crew enjoying themselves.  They were more relaxed than they had been in a while – the 24-hour tactical alert had been taking it's toll on the crew, but recent scans had indicated that there weren't any ships within a few light-years, so most of the crew was taking a well-deserved night off. 

She noticed with amusement that Mark and Seven were having a conversation at the bar.  Seven actually seemed to be enjoying herself, and she could swear that she was almost smiling.  Deciding that it was time for her to leave so the crew could relax further without the Captain watching them, she told everyone that she was leaving and got up from the table. 

Before she had made it a few steps down the corridor outside the holodeck, she heard the doors open behind her and Chakotay came after her. 

"Are you feeling all right?" he asked as he caught up with her. 

"I'm fine." 

"A little early to be calling it a night, isn't it?" 

She shrugged. "I'm going to go back to my quarters and curl up with a good book for a few hours." 

She started down the hallway again, and he walked with her. "You're wrong about the crew, you know," he said as they reached the turbolift. 

She turned around to face him. "What do you mean?" 

"You think they won't really enjoy themselves until you leave.  That's the real reason you're leaving so soon." 

"I think they'll be more relaxed if I'm not around," she admitted. 

He shook his head. "That's not true.  In fact, it's just the opposite.  When the crew sees that you're relaxed and having a good time, they enjoy themselves a whole lot more.  When you're not there they sometimes feel guilty, like they're slacking off while you're working hard to get them home." 

"That's not my intention," she said, surprised. 

"Of course not, but that's often what happens.  Not only that, but the crew likes to know that you're enjoying yourself.  They worry about you, and so do I.  We all know the kind of responsibility you carry around, and it's nice to know that you can let go of it every once in a while.  Seeing you having fun makes the crew feel better, and they don't worry about you as much." 

She stared at him in stunned silence, moved at his description of the concern of the crew. "I had no idea," she said quietly. "They really worry that I don't relax enough?" 

He smiled at her. "You'd be surprised at the number of people who come up to me and ask how you're doing.  When I stop by your quarters and ask you to take a break, a lot of the time it's not my idea." 

"I find that hard to believe," she chuckled. "Is it their idea to tell me to lay off the coffee, too?" 

"No," he admitted. "But seriously, Kathryn, they enjoy seeing you off-duty.  When you're happy, they're happy." 

She thought for a moment before she answered. "All right – next time, I'll be the last one to leave and then we'll see how the crew likes it, hmm?  And if they complain, I'll blame you." 

"Deal," he said with a grin.  The turbolift doors opened, and she stepped in. "Good night, Kathryn." 

"Good night."

*    *    *

Kathryn set her book down on the ottoman, got up out of her chair, and walked over to the window.  She hadn't gotten any sleep all night, and she hadn't been able to concentrate enough even to read.  It was ironic – her mind was racing so fast that she wasn't even able to think.  About anything other that what was on her mind, that is – Chakotay. 

On the one hand, her judgement and common sense told her she was doing the right thing.  A Captain couldn't become involved with her First Officer – it went against every Starfleet bone in her body.  She could foresee all sorts of conflicts and difficulties that might arise – that had already arisen. 

However, Chakotay's negative reaction to her decision that had become apparent during their fighting troubled her greatly.  She had relied so heavily on his opinion for so long that it was difficult for her to just dismiss him offhand.  Granted, he could hardly be objective about this, but she still couldn't shake the feeling that she should listen to him.  She was unused to being so decidedly without his support, and it made her uneasy, even though she was still inclined to believe she was right. 

Whenever she nearly had herself convinced that she was right, though, she began to wonder if it would be possible to work through whatever might be thrown their way.  In the past seven years, they had survived everything the Delta Quadrant had to offer – the problems from a relationship seemed meaningless in comparison.  Then again, one of the reasons they had survived this long was because of how well her and Chakotay worked together, and if that were disrupted it could threaten the safety of the crew.  She had already seen that happen twice, when she had made an alliance with the Borg and when they had disagreed over the Equinox.  Those conflicts between her and Chakotay had nearly cost the crew their lives, and she didn't want to take that risk again. 

She thought carefully about what Mark and B'Elanna had said.  They had both made a deep impression on her, and their words and advice were what had been keeping her up all night.  She certainly agreed with Mark – Chakotay knew her as well as she knew herself, and maybe even better than that.  Maybe he was right about something else as well – perhaps what she and Chakotay had – or could have – was worth fighting for.  She remembered what Chakotay had asked her one night, about it being worth the risk.  She hadn't answered him, because she knew that she couldn't bring herself to say no. 

B'Elanna had made a good point as well – couldn't she and Chakotay keep a personal relationship strictly personal?  In the past, some of their more forceful disagreements, like the one a few weeks ago, spilled into the command structure but for the most part they were more than capable of keeping their personal lives away from their duties. 

Kathryn sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.  She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this conflicted, and it was unsettling.  Looking at the time, she noticed that the evening shift had just ended, and that gave her an idea.  Whenever she had faced a major dilemma over the past few years, there was one person who had always managed to ground her – Tuvok.  She knew he would go straight to his quarters after he was finished bridge duty, so she turned away from the windows and headed for the door.

Tuvok answered his door right away, and she stepped into his quarters. 

"Captain," he said evenly but with some surprise. 

"I hope I'm not disturbing you, Tuvok," she said as she entered. 

"I was merely completing my tactical review," he told her. "But it is not urgent." 

She noticed his knowing expression and smiled at how easily he saw through her.  Over the past few years, the only times she had visited him in his quarters was when she had something troubling her, as he well knew. 

He offered her a cup of coffee, but she declined. "No thank you, but maybe a nice cup of Vulcan tea.  The last thing I need right now is caffeine in my veins." 

He raised an eyebrow as he brought her the tea.  "I haven't been able to sleep all night," she explained as she took the cup from him. 

"I assume that is because there is something troubling you." 

"You assume correctly," she said as she moved over to his couch and sat down.  He took a seat beside her and waited patiently for her to begin. 

"It's not about the ship," she said finally. "It's more of a…personal matter." 

"Commander Chakotay," he guessed.  She looked at him in surprise.  "You are trying to determine whether it is appropriate for you to pursue a relationship with him." 

Her jaw dropped. "Who told you that?" she said cautiously. 

"No one.  I have been observing you in the weeks since your return.  You have been trying to decide how to proceed." 

She squeezed her eyes shut and massaged her forehead. "Was it really that obvious?" 

"Perhaps not, but I have served with you long enough to be acutely aware of changes in your state of mind." 

"Fine," she said after a minute of silence. "What do you think I should do?" 

He hesitated. "I do not believe that my advice would be appropriate for this kind of situation." 

"I could use a little unemotional logic, right now, Tuvok.  At this point, I don't know what to think." 

"I see," he said.  After a moment's thought, he added, "But what do you feel?" 

She looked up at him in surprise. "That's not a very Vulcan question, Tuvok." 

"You are not Vulcan." 

She sighed. "Maybe it would be easier if I were," she muttered. 

There was a short silence before he spoke again. "I must conclude from that statement that you do harbor feelings for Commander Chakotay, yet you are hesitant to act on them." 

She was motionless for a long time, but then she nodded. "That sounds about right." 

"I can easily conjecture what kind of emotions would compel you to consider such a relationship, so perhaps it would be of some help if you explained some of your objections – your reasons for hesitation.  It might bring you some clarity." 

Taking a deep breath, she collected her thoughts. "So far, we haven't been able to keep our private disagreements from having an adverse affect on the running of the ship," she began. "If we were involved, I'm afraid the same thing would happen." 

"A logical assumption considering the events of the past few weeks." 

"I'll say," she muttered, then paused to think of the next problem that had been troubling her.  "Not only that, but what if it didn't work out? We see each other every day and it's a small ship – there's nowhere to hide if things got…unpleasant." 

Tuvok considered for a moment before he responded. "I am afraid I cannot agree with that objection." 

"Why not? You don't think it would be awkward?" 

"That is not what I mean.  If I accept the logic of that statement, then I must conclude that any fraternization among the crew would be ill-advised, since that argument can be applied to any relationship on Voyager.  You yourself have refused to set a fraternization policy, so you obviously do not agree with that statement." 

"All right," she sighed as she rubbed her forehead with one hand.  "What about sending him on dangerous away missions? I'm afraid my objectivity would be compromised." 

"Perhaps.  However, you have admitted that you do have feelings for him." 

"Yes," she said hesitantly. 

"Then it is logical to assume that your objectivity is already compromised – whether or not you act on those feelings is irrelevant." 

She froze with her cup halfway to her mouth before she lowered it slowly. "Did I just hear you right? You're telling me that I should pursue it?" 

"I do not believe I said any such thing – I am merely pointing out the flaws in your objections to such a relationship." 

She shook off her surprise and continued. "It goes against every Starfleet regulation in the book." 

"Indeed." 

"A Captain can't go around having affairs with her crew.  Those protocols and rules are there for a reason."

"However, as you have pointed out to me on many occasions, we are a long way from Starfleet." 

"Are you saying I should ignore the regulations?" 

"I am only suggesting that the rules may not be appropriate for our…unique situation.  It is only natural that as a human you would need companionship, and as Captain your options are limited." 

She stared at him in silence before she went on. "I'm afraid it would interfere with my duties." 

He frowned. "Please explain." 

"Look at tonight, for example – thinking about this has kept me up all night.  If I'm sleep deprived, I can't command this ship at full efficiency.  If I have trouble concentrating now, what would happen to my ability to command this ship if we were actually involved?" 

Tuvok thought for a long time before he responded. "I do not believe that is a sound argument, Captain."

"Why the hell not?  You don't think I've been distracted lately?" 

"On the contrary," he replied, "Which is why your argument is illogical." 

"I don't understand." 

He thought for a moment before he responded.  "Denying your attraction to the Commander has proved more distracting for you than I believe a relationship would be.  Perhaps the reason that you are distracted is because it is taking a great deal of effort for you to repress your emotions.  You must either give in to those emotions or bury them deep in your mind if you wish to regain clarity." 

"I can't believe what I'm hearing," she said. "I thought you of all people would tell me that it's not appropriate for a Captain and her First Officer to become involved." 

"Perhaps that is why you sought me out." 

"What?" 

"Is it possible that your own uncertainties prompted you to consult me in the hope that I would reaffirm your decision to remain uninvolved?" 

"I don't know," she sighed. "I suppose it is.  I was talking to B'Elanna and Mark, and they were both telling me in their own way that I would be a fool to let this slip away.  I have to admit, having my resolve chipped away like that was starting to scare me." 

"Perhaps that is the true reason for your hesitation," he said quietly. 

She put her head in her hands and sat in silence.  After a few minutes, realization dawned and she felt as though she were seeing things clearly for the first time.  Tuvok was right – she wasn't seeking an objective viewpoint, only looking to validate her decision that had brought on their fight in the turbolift.  Her conversations with Mark and B'Elanna had disturbed her precisely because their arguments shed doubt on that decision. She realized that on some level she had sought Tuvok's counsel because she thought he would make it easier for her by supporting her.  She raised her head and looked at Tuvok. 

"No, it wasn't my only reason," she said quietly. "But it's the only one that matters now." She put her cup down on the table and rose to leave.  He followed her to the door. 

Before she left, she turned to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"I never thought I'd be getting your blessing on this," she said with a small smile. 

"It was only logical," he said, raising an eyebrow. 

"Thank you, old friend."

*    *    *

Kathryn strode through the corridors aimlessly.  She felt that she had finally come to a decision, but now she had to figure out what to do about it.  She was fairly certain that it wasn't too late – from what Chakotay had said one night about not giving up trying to convince her they could make it work, she assumed he was still open to a relationship.  She wanted to be absolutely certain of her decision before she told him, though.  She didn't want to hurt him again like the last time she thought she wanted to give in to her emotions. 

She wasn't sure how many hours she had been wandering distractedly around the ship when she unintentionally found herself in front of Chakotay's door.  Taking a deep breath, she pushed the chime and waited for an answer.  When there was none, she pressed it again.  This time, the door opened a few seconds later to reveal a groggy Chakotay in the doorway.  He was wearing his sleepwear, a grayish blue t-shirt and matching pants.  Seeing who was at his door, he grumbled, "This had better be good, Kathryn."

She stepped back in surprise at his attire and wondered momentarily why he looked like he had just crawled out of bed before it hit her how long she had been wandering around the ship. 

"What time is it?" 

"After 0300," he muttered. 

"Oh – I'm so sorry, Chakotay.  I had no idea it was so late." 

He suddenly became more alert, concern lining his face. "Kathryn – have you been up all night?" 

"Yes," she admitted. "I had no idea what time it was or I never would have come over.  I didn't mean to wake you up." 

"Well, now that I'm up, what did you want?" 

She hesitated. "We need to talk." 

He shrugged. "Give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll come to your quarters." 

"Really, Chakotay, it can wait." 

"I'm up now," he insisted. "Besides, I'm curious." He started to step back from the door, but stopped and turned back around. 

"Is it about whatever's been keeping you up all night?" 

"Yes." 

"Will it keep me up all night, too?" 

"Probably." 

He had been joking, but she was dead serious and she saw his eyes widen in surprise before she stepped back from the door and it closed in front of him.

*    *    *

It was less than four minutes before Chakotay showed up in Kathryn's quarters, dressed in his uniform.  He had been going to wear something casual, but two things had made him choose to wear his uniform instead.  First of all, she was wearing her uniform, so he followed her lead.  Secondly, they were on duty in a few hours and he had a feeling this conversation might take a while, and this way he could go directly to the bridge from her quarters. 

"Would you like some coffee?" she asked him. 

"I have a feeling I won't need it – will whatever we're going to talk about wake me up?" 

"Definitely," she told him over her shoulder.  She seemed to be in a good mood at first, but as soon as they moved toward the couch she became serious and silent.  He sat down first, and was surprised how close to him she sat when she lowered herself onto the couch – their legs were almost touching.  She curled up with her feet underneath her, and propped her elbow on the back of the couch with her chin resting in her hand.  He waited for her to say something, but she seemed to be lost in thought and was staring out the window.

"Kathryn?" he prompted after a minute or two.  Startled out of her reverie, she turned to look at him. "I hope you didn't wake me up at three in the morning to come and watch you stare out the window – not that it's something I don't enjoy." 

She gave a small smile and looked down at her hands folded in her lap. 

"Something's been keeping you up all night?" he prompted again. 

She nodded. "I've been thinking about some conversations I've had with the crew over the past few days."

"About what?" 

"Us." His eyes widened in surprise – in a million years he would never have thought that she would discuss something so private and personal with the crew. 

"Remember that night in my quarters after we fought?" she continued, and he nodded. "I told you that I couldn't…I wouldn't pursue a relationship with you.  I'd been having doubts, even before we fought, and I thought that until I was sure one way or the other, it was best for things to remain the way they are…or rather the way they were.  I don't think we can call anything from the past few weeks normal for us." 

He nodded for her to continue. 

"It all started with Mark in the mess hall last night.  He said some things that really got me thinking." 

"Like what?" 

"He told me something that I already knew, really – how well you know me.  How well I know you." 

"Working with someone for seven years tends to have that effect." 

She shook her head. "It's more than that.  There's a trust between us, a bond, that's unlike anything I've ever experienced with anyone.  When…when I was on Quarra, I had no idea who you were, but I knew I could trust you with my life.  I didn't feel that way about anybody else…I've been thinking about that for a while, but Mark managed to put it into words.  He said something else, though, that I've been trying to ignore ever since." 

"What was that?" 

"That the…understanding between us is…rare…unique.  A once in a lifetime thing.  That it's something worth fighting for.  Worth taking risks for."  Her voice had been getting steadily softer as she spoke and he had to strain to hear her by the time she finished. 

"And what do you think about that?" he asked cautiously. 

"I tried not to think about it.  I'd been having enough doubts as it was, and I didn't need anything else to add to that.  I realized how right he was about you knowing me when you arranged for me to talk to Phoebe today." 

He smiled. "I'm sure I'm not the only one on board who would have thought of it." 

"Maybe not, but you did think of it and that's what counts."  She took a deep breath and looked out the window again before turning back to him. "And then there was B'Elanna." 

"B'Elanna?" That was a good sign – Chakotay thought that B'Elanna was one of the strongest advocates on board for a relationship between the two commanding officers, and if Kathryn had been talking to her maybe this conversation was not going to be the one he expected after all. 

"I talked to her after the game tonight.  I can't believe how much I let slip, but she's very good.  I had no idea how much I'd revealed until after we had talked." She sighed. "I told her that I thought it was impossible to keep a relationship from having an adverse affect on my job performance.  She asked me if I wanted to replace her in engineering since she has a family." 

Chakotay chuckled. "Sounds like something she'd pull." 

"I told her that she was the best engineer on board and that she was doing a fine job of keeping her personal life off-duty…and she asked me why I couldn't do the same." 

"Do you think you could?" 

"I'm not sure," she sighed. "Our disagreements over the past few weeks would tend to make me say no…but now I'm not so sure.  That's why I went to see Tuvok." 

His breath caught in his throat. He thought Tuvok was probably the last person on board who would encourage her to let go of her resistance.  He began to fear that their conversation was going to take a turn for the worse. 

"I told him what was on my mind – or rather, he guessed before I'd even made it through the door.  He suggested that I take a…logical…look at some of my objections." 

"And?" 

"He shot all but one of them down with impeccable reasoning." 

It took a moment for her words to sink in before he replied. "He what?" 

"He told me that my objections to us becoming involved were illogical – all except one." 

"Which was what?" he said, still afraid to hope for the best. 

She looked down at her hands again. "I told him that in light of recent events, I was afraid we wouldn't be able to keep personal disagreements from affecting the crew, and he agreed with me.  Everything else I suggested he talked me out of."  She sighed. "He also made me realize that you were right – I have been using Voyager as an excuse.  As a safety net." 

"Kathryn, I shouldn't have said that.  I was angry and – "

"You were right," she said firmly.  "Not that my other objections weren't valid, but I think I really was hiding behind protocol and the crew." She looked up at him again to see how he would react. 

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" he asked, trying to keep his growing anticipation in check.

She reached over and slowly entwined her fingers with his, mimicking a gesture of trust and understanding from their time on New Earth years ago. "About a week ago, you asked me if I thought trying to make this work would be worth the risk.  I'm telling you right now – I think it is." 

"You mean it?" he asked, stunned. "You're serious?"  She nodded and smiled at him.  He looked at her carefully, looking for any sign of uncertainty or doubt.  He could see she was a little nervous, but he realized that was because she was waiting for him to answer her. 

"What if it doesn't work?" he said finally. 

"What if it does?" she whispered with a smile. "I had never really stopped pushing you away long enough to consider it like that, but now that I have, I'm beginning to enjoy it." 

"What about keeping this away from our duties?  You said Tuvok couldn't talk you out of that one." 

She sat back with a sigh, disappointed but not surprised.  "You don't agree with me," she said quietly, withdrawing her hand from his.  The hurt in her voice moved him, and he tried to reassure her. 

"I'm just being cautious," he said. "The last time we were at this point, I didn't ask you if you were sure, and look what happened." 

"I understand your reluctance, but you have to realize that this is different from the last time.  That first night in my quarters, I decided to ignore my reservations and I acted on impulse – something I quickly regretted and I started having doubts." 

"And this time?" 

"This time, I've worked through my objections – well, most of them – instead of just ignoring them."  She put her hand on his chest and looked him straight in the eye.  "Do you trust me, Chakotay?" 

He didn't hesitate.  "Always." 

She was moved by the certainty in his voice, and it took a moment before she could continue. "Then believe me when I tell you that I finally know what I want.  I know what I'm doing." 

He searched her face for a moment before he smiled. "You were right – this will keep me up all night.  No wonder you haven't been to sleep yet." 

The tension visibly drained from her shoulders and she laughed. "Quite frankly, this was the part I was dreading – I was afraid you wouldn't believe me after all that's happened." 

"I was never in doubt of whether you were telling me the truth or not – just whether or not you knew what you were talking about." 

She chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck.  "Well, being up for this long is starting to catch up with me." A sudden thought crossed her mind as she rubbed the knots in her neck, a thought that she often had when she had a sore neck but had never felt comfortable indulging until now. 

"I seem to remember that you give an excellent massage." 

"At your service." 

He slid backwards so he was sitting with his back against the arm of the couch, and she turned around and moved back so she was sitting in front of him.  He put his hands on her shoulders and gently massaged her neck, working out the knots. 

"Oh, that feels wonderful." 

"You weren't kidding when you said you were tense," he muttered.  After a few minutes of comfortable silence, broken only by the occasional moan from Kathryn, Chakotay added, "Is this where we discuss parameters?" 

She smiled, but took the comment seriously even though he had been joking.  "Maybe we should – we can't allow any of this to have an effect on the crew." 

"That's impossible.  Of course it will affect them.  For one, it will keep the rumor mill going at warp speed for the next millennium or so." 

She laughed and he smiled, enjoying the sound of it. "That's not what I mean," she told him when her laughter subsided. 

"I know.  Seriously, though, I'll try and be as professional about this as I possibly can and if you do the same that's the best we can do." 

"We have to try and keep any off-duty disagreements away from our duties, and vice versa.  I don't want this to come screeching to a halt the first time we disagree about a command decision." 

"I think we've proven that keeping our arguments away from our command doesn't work.  Why don't we just try to avoid disagreements all together?" 

She rolled her eyes. "Gee, why didn't I think of that?" 

"I'm serious," he said. "For starters, if you're having doubts, tell me up front.  I don't like it when you make me guess what's going on in that fascinating head of yours.  I'd rather you tell me if you're not sure than have to wonder if you're going to back out." 

"Like I did last time," she said grimly. 

"If you had told me you were having doubts, we might have worked this all out weeks ago.  If it happens again, just tell me." 

"Done – although I certainly hope it won't." 

She moved closer to him as he continued to work the tension out of her muscles, and she reclined so her head was resting on his shoulder.  He shifted his body under her so he had one leg on each side of her, and she sighed as she sank back on his chest. 

"That feels incredible," she whispered. "Why haven't I had you doing this for the past five years?" 

"All you had to do was ask." 

He continued rubbing her shoulders for a few minutes in silence, thinking about the comment she had just made. 

"Kathryn," he said finally, "I hope you know that I didn't mean what I said when we fought in the turbolift about waiting seven years for this.  Just sitting with you now makes it worth every minute, and I don't regret any of the time we've spent together since the day we met."  He stared out the window, and when she didn't reply right away he looked down at her.  "Kathryn?" 

Her head had rolled sideways on his shoulder, and she was fast asleep with a small smile on her face, breathing deeply.  He stared at her, not believing his good fortune, before he finally reached over and grabbed a pillow.  He put it behind his head and made himself more comfortable, with Kathryn sleeping on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around her.


	4. S.O.S.

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

SUMMARY: Voyager responds to distress call and finds something surprising.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

AWAKENINGS

CHAPTER FOUR : S.O.S.

The first thing Kathryn became aware of was that something other than her pillow was against her cheek.  The material was different, and it was warm and moving slowly up and down.  She tried to clear the fog in her mind and remember where she was.  The last thing she recalled was getting a massage from Chakotay.  She slowly opened her eyes and saw something black and red in front of her.  Lifting her head and moving her eyes upward, she saw the smiling face of Chakotay looking at her.  They were still on the couch, and she was laying facedown partly on top of him, with her head on his shoulder and her arm draped across his chest. 

"Good morning." 

Her eyes widened. "Morning?" 

"I guess my conversation was so exciting that you just couldn't stay awake," he chuckled. 

"I'm sorry – I guess I had been up so long…and the massage you gave me was so relaxing…"

"No need to apologize.  I got a couple hours of sleep, and waking up with you on my shoulder will more than make up for any sore muscles I get tomorrow." 

"You could have just moved me or woken me up, you know," she said with a grin. 

He was about to reply when his commbadge chirped at him. _Kim to Commander Chakotay._

Kathryn's hand flew to her mouth and her eyes widened – what would the crew think if they knew where he was at this time of day? 

"Go ahead," said Chakotay with a grin at her shock as she pushed herself off him and into a sitting position.

_We're receiving a distress signal.  I think you should come to the bridge._

"Acknowledged.  Have you set a course?" 

_Not yet, sir – I'll explain when you get here. After a pause, he added,  __Should__ I wake the Captain?_

Chakotay sat there with his mouth hanging open, not knowing what to say.  Kathryn suppressed a laugh and tried to sound normal as she replied.  "I'm right here, Harry – the Commander and I were just having breakfast.  We're on our way." 

When the link was closed, Chakotay looked at her appreciatively. "Quick thinking – too bad we haven't had breakfast together in, oh…four months.  I think the last time was before the attack on the Delta Flyer." 

She whacked him on the arm as she got off the couch and moved towards the bedroom. "Well, what if Harry asked the computer to track you down before he called?  We might as well avoid speculation as long as possible." 

"What if anybody asked the computer for my location anytime in the last few hours?  We'll be hard pressed to explain my being in your quarters at 0500, even if it was completely innocent." 

She poked her head out of the bedroom.  "0500? Is that what time it is?" 

He grinned. "No – it's 0720, so your breakfast story should fly with the crew." 

Running a brush through her hair as she came out of the bedroom, she threw him a playful glare.  "Well, we'd better get to the bridge before Harry has a nervous breakdown." 

He followed her closely to the door, and she turned to face him before they left the privacy of her quarters.

"Duty calls," she sighed. 

He smiled and reached over to her face, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. 

"It usually does…but somehow I don't mind as much this morning."  His hand lingered on the side of her face, and on a sudden impulse he leaned forward and kissed her.  She returned the kiss, putting her hand behind his head and running her fingers through his hair.  They didn't last long before they mutually pulled away, although their faces were still close together. 

"The bridge," muttered Kathryn, as if to remind them both what they had been doing. 

"Right," he whispered.  "The bridge."  He stepped back and opened the door. "After you."  He followed her down the corridor and they entered the turbolift. 

"Deck one," ordered Kathryn as soon as the doors closed.  They were standing close together, and Chakotay was surprised when he felt her seek out his hand.  She gently entwined her fingers with his, just as he had done the day they had fought in the turbolift.  He glanced over at her in disbelief, but she seemed to be oblivious and was staring straight ahead with a hint of a smile on her lips.  As the turbolift stopped, she gently removed her hand from his and strode out of the turbolift as the doors opened in front of her.  He recovered quickly and followed her. 

"What have you got for us, Harry?" she asked as Ensign Kim gave up her chair.  The day shift hadn't started yet, but some of the senior staff was already there – Seven was at her station behind the command chairs, and Tom Paris was at the helm. 

"We're getting an automated distress signal, audio only," Harry informed the Captain. 

"Let's hear it." 

A severely distorted transmission was heard on the bridge.  The static and interference made it difficult to even hear the voice, but if Kathryn had to guess she would have said it was a woman, and she sounded anxious.  Only a few words could be made out of the garbled transmission. 

……_calling U.S.S. Voyager…__if……__receiving this……….__need assistance……__under attack.  We are……_

The transmission cut off abruptly, and the Captain turned to Ensign Kim, who was now at his station. 

"What happened, Harry?" 

"Nothing happened," he told her. "The transmission is cut off.  There's no more." 

"Can you clear it up?" 

"I've been trying – nothing works.  I can't cut through the interference." 

"Where's it coming from?" asked Chakotay. 

"A small unidentified vessel about two light years from here.  They're being pursued at warp by four Brennin ships.  If we set a course we could intercept them in a couple of hours, assuming they manage to stay at warp." 

The Captain turned to Chakotay for advice. "I was hoping we could avoid a direct confrontation with the Brennin, but if we set a course for four of their warships…"

"We can't just ignore this distress call," he replied. "They were calling Voyager for help." 

"That's what makes me suspicious – it could be a trap." 

"What if it's not?" he returned. 

"The Brennin ships have impressive capabilities – if it is a trap we could easily be outgunned.  Even if it's not we could be in trouble." 

"That ship is already in trouble.  Since when are you unwilling to answer a distress call?" 

"Since we're in the middle of an alien battleground," she snapped.  "I'm sure the Brennin would go to great lengths to capture Voyager, even luring us into an elaborate trap." 

"From what we've seen of the Brennin, I'd say that's not their style."

"How can you say that?  They're paranoid, hostile –"

"But not devious or deceptive.  Ask Commander Walker if you don't believe me." 

She looked at him carefully for a few seconds before she came to a decision.  "I believe you.  Mr. Paris, set an intercept course at maximum warp.  Harry, cut power to all non-essential systems.  I don't want to attract any unwanted attention if possible." 

She and Chakotay moved towards their chairs and sat down.  She studied some information on the console in between their chairs for a moment before he leaned over towards her and spoke quietly. 

"Seems to me we just had a professional disagreement – anything come screeching to a halt yet?" 

She chuckled softly and shook her head. "Not on my end." 

A little louder, he said, "Why don't we go finish our breakfast then?" 

She frowned. "Finish?  We never…"  She winced and broke off as she realized the blunder she had made.  Tom at the helm was looking at her with an amused look on his face, and she realized that the entire bridge had heard her over the comm before, claiming she was having breakfast.  She quickly tried to cover, continuing where she had left off.  "…even got started before we were interrupted." 

"Nice recovery," he muttered under his breath. 

"Why don't we replicate something in my ready room?" she continued.  She saw Tom smirk, indicating that her recovery hadn't been as smooth as she had hoped, so she got up out of her chair and turned to Harry at Ops. "You have the bridge, Ensign." She knew that leaving the bridge to Harry was a slight to Tom, and she saw the puzzled look on his face.  Deciding to get his mind even further off her slip of the tongue, she spoke loudly to Chakotay as they moved towards her ready room. 

"You know, Commander, I heard you have some extra replicator rations – care to treat me to strawberry crepes?" 

She looked at Tom out of the corner of her eye and saw him glare at her good-naturedly.  Chakotay had known of Lieutenant Blake's pool skills in advance of the tournament of Sandrine's, as had many of the senior staff, and poor Tom had been milked out of a month's worth of rations. 

"Sounds good," said Chakotay, looking at Tom pointedly. "I could go for an omelet." 

As soon as the doors to her ready room closed, they looked at each other and burst out laughing. 

"That should keep Tom occupied for a few minutes at least," said Chakotay. 

"We can only hope," she replied as she moved toward the replicator. "Now – what would you like in your omelet?" 

They had a quiet, comfortable breakfast, the likes of which they hadn't enjoyed in a long time.  Chakotay was right – it had been over four months since they had last eaten breakfast together, and surprisingly it seemed to Kathryn as if it were only yesterday.  Their comfortable banter as they ate didn't reflect the importance of their conversation last night – or rather early that morning.  The only difference was in the occasional glances they stole at each other when they thought they would be unobserved.  A half-hour later, after they had finished eating and they had each downed a few cups of coffee, they returned to the bridge and took their seats.  The day shift was nearly in full swing, and most of the stations were occupied by their usual alpha shift officers. 

They came within range of the mysterious ship after about an hour and a half. 

"They're not at warp," said Harry.  "Looks like their warp plasma network just collapsed – their warp drive is offline." 

"They are under attack by seven Brennin vessels," reported Tuvok.  "Four more are on long-range sensors on an intercept course." 

"Red Alert," barked Janeway. "Onscreen."  They saw what looked like a small cargo vessel surrounded by half a dozen sleek Brennin attack cruisers.  The smaller vessel was attempting to return fire but had clearly taken heavy damage. 

"Hail the Brennin," she ordered.  When Tuvok nodded at her, she rose from her chair and moved towards the screen. "This is Captain Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager.  Break off your attack or –"  She was cut off when two of the Brennin ships fired on Voyager and the bridge shook.  She lost her balance momentarily and stumbled back to her chair. 

"I guess they're not in a mood to talk," she muttered to no one in particular.  She lurched sideways in her chair as another shot connected with Voyager. 

"Shields are holding," reported Tuvok. 

"Target their weapons array and fire at will." 

Voyager's phasers powered up and fired at the nearest Brennin vessel, but did not do much damage. 

"No effect," said Tuvok, stating the obvious. 

"Hail the other vessel," she told him.  "This is Captain Janeway of the Starship Voyager.  We are responding to your distress call and are here to help you.  Do you require assistance?" 

The only reply was a distorted static. 

"Harry, try and clear that up.  We can't hear you," she said to the other vessel. "Please say again – do you require assistance?" 

The reply was slightly more comprehensible this time, but only a few words could be made out. 

_Voyager………__help……__is badly……………__casualties …__we……__medical……_

"Their communications systems are barely functioning," said Harry.  "That's the best I can do." 

_Can……__us………__urgent that……__off………__our………__failing.  Please…_

"We're having trouble hearing you," said the Captain.  "We're trying to help you." 

…_Janeway………__respond……__need –_

The bridge shook again as the transmission was cut off abruptly. 

"Shields at 65 percent," announced Tuvok. 

"Get them back!" the Captain told Harry urgently. 

Harry shook his head. "It's no good – their subspace transponder's offline." 

The Captain moved towards his station.  "How many people are on board?" 

"It's hard to tell with all the weapons fire, but looks like about thirty lifesigns." 

Onscreen, they saw a massive explosion on one side of the smaller, weakened cargo vessel. 

"They're taking some pretty heavy damage, Captain.  Their shields are failing and it looks like they've lost main power and weapons." 

Voyager rocked again, more violently this time. 

"Four of the ships are concentrating their fire on us," reported Tuvok.  "Shields are at 40 percent." 

"Full spread of photon torpedoes," she ordered. "Target their weapons and propulsion." She turned back to Harry's station.  She was standing with one foot on the stairs leading up to Ops, with her hands on the railing in front of her.  "Harry, is there any way to –"

She was interrupted when several consoles exploded around the bridge and the floor lurched under her.  The bridge crew was tossed around violently, and she was thrown forward where she was standing.  Her head contacted the railing in front of her, and she fell in a heap to the ground, momentarily stunned. She slowly pulled herself off the floor and looked around the smoking bridge. 

"Report," she barked, oblivious to the blood trickling down her face from a gash on her forehead. 

"Forward shields are down.  Targeting scanners are offline," said Tuvok. 

"Continue firing – manual targeting." 

"Evasive maneuvers, Tom," ordered Chakotay from his seat. 

"We're losing main power," reported Harry.  "I'm switching to auxiliary." 

She fell to her knees on the floor as the ship shook again, and more consoles exploded behind her. 

"Hull breach on deck nine!" yelled Harry over the noise.  "Emergency forcefields are in place.  Fires on decks twelve and thirteen." 

The Captain made her way over to her chair and sat down.  When she did, Chakotay noticed for the first time the blood on her face. 

"Kathryn, you're hurt!" he said, concerned. 

"It's just a scratch," she said, punching in commands on the console between their seats. 

"It looks pretty bad," he insisted. "Maybe you should – "

"I'm fine, Commander," she said forcefully, cutting him off. 

"They hit the port nacelle," said Harry. "We're venting plasma." 

"Bridge to engineering," said the Captain. 

_Torres here, Captain. _

"We need to stop the plasma leak if we're going to get out of here in one piece." 

_Understood, but we're losing antimatter containment – I have to stabilize the core first._

"Acknowledged," said Janeway. 

"Captain, the other vessel is losing structural integrity," reported Harry. "They'll suffer a full structural collapse in less than a minute, and they're still taking fire." 

"Can you get a transporter lock on them?" 

"I'm trying," said Harry. "There's – "  They were unable to hear the rest of Harry's sentence when the ship rocked from another shot.  Captain Janeway was thrown from her chair, and Chakotay was nearly tossed from his.  He reached out and grabbed her by the elbow to help her back into her seat. 

"I've got a lock on them," reported Harry. 

"Beam them directly to the cargo bay." 

They waited anxiously for a few seconds while the ship rumbled beneath their feet.  Two of the Brennin ships were still firing on the cargo vessel, and it suddenly disintegrated in a massive fireball.  The Captain swiveled in her chair and looked anxiously at Harry. 

"I've got them," he announced with relief after a few seconds. "Thirty-two lifesigns in cargo bay one." 

"Let's get out of here, Tom," ordered Chakotay. "Full impulse." 

"Yes, sir," said Tom, and Voyager began to move away from the pursuing ships. 

_Torres to the bridge – we've stopped the plasma leak.  We've got warp five, but that's all I can give you for now._

"Good work, lieutenant.  Tom?" 

"You don't have to tell me twice," he muttered as his hands flew over the console in front of him,  A few seconds later, Voyager jumped to warp. 

"They're not pursuing," reported Harry with relief. 

"Stand down red alert.  Tom, you're with me," said the Captain as she rose from her chair. "Let's get down to the cargo bay and meet our new friends.  Sounds like they might need medical assistance, and I'm sure the Doctor has his hands full in Sickbay." 

Tom turned his chair around and got up, getting a good look at the Captain for the first time. "Looks like they're not the only ones who could use a medic," he said. "Maybe you should have the Doc take a look at you." 

"I'm fine, Mr. Paris." 

Chakotay rose from his seat and stepped close to her so no one else could hear him. "Kathryn.  Go.  To.  Sickbay." 

She glared at him. "When I'm done in the cargo bay." 

"Fine.  Then you won't mind if I come with you to see that you do." 

She stared at him for a few seconds, and when he didn't back down she inclined her head towards the turbolift and turned away.  He and Tom followed her as she walked to the turbolift. 

"You have the bridge, Tuvok." 

They entered the lift and the doors shut behind them.  "Deck eight," ordered the Captain.  Standing in the turbolift, she could feel their eyes on her, scrutinizing her. 

"It's just a scratch," she growled. 

Tom and Chakotay glanced at each other and raised their eyebrows.  The turbolift stopped and they left it and walked down the corridor to the cargo bay.  When the doors opened, they could hear the sounds of moaning and people in distress.  Many of the thirtysome people who had been beamed aboard were injured, although most of the injuries did not appear to be serious. 

"Tom, find out who has the worst injuries and start beaming them to Sickbay."  He nodded and moved off into the crowd, and Kathryn surveyed the people in front of her.  The ones closest to her were of a species she didn't recognize, a group of four individuals with thick, textured skin and stout figures.  She and Chakotay moved towards them and they addressed her. 

"Where are we?" asked one of them as they approached. 

"You're on Voyager.  Your ship was destroyed, and we beamed you aboard." 

"Thank you," said another alien. "I'm afraid we have nothing to give you in return." 

"We don't require anything from you," she assured him. "You asked for help, and we gave it." 

The alien seemed surprised at this, but seemed to accept it after a few seconds consideration. 

"Do you know why they were attacking you?" asked Chakotay. 

"Since we were heading for Kesseret space, they assumed we were collaborators and were bringing information to their enemies.  They began attacking us almost as soon as we altered course for Voyager."

The Captain and Chakotay looked at each other before turning back to the aliens. 

"You were trying to intercept us?" she guessed, but before she got an answer something fell into place.  "You've been looking for us, haven't you?" 

Chakotay picked up on her train of thought and added, "Are you Hathoran?" 

"Yes," said one of the aliens, with some surprise.  "You've heard of us?" 

"We heard that there was an Hathoran vessel looking for us," explained Chakotay. 

Another alien, who hadn't spoken yet, chimed in, "Our clients have been trying to track you down for months." 

"Clients?" said Janeway. 

Before the aliens could respond, a woman's voice called to them from nearby. "Captain Janeway?" 

They turned around to the source of the voice and saw a young woman, about twenty-five, making her way towards them.  Their expressions registered shock when they saw that the speaker appeared to be human.  She had long brown hair, with some of it pulled up at the back of her head but most of it cascading down her back, and she wore a loose brown shirt with a blue vest and matching pants. 

"Captain Janeway?" the woman repeated as she drew closer, pulling them out of their surprise. 

"Yes." 

The woman sighed with relief.  "I've been tracking you for over six months," she explained, then paused and took a deep breath.  "You're probably going to find this hard to believe, but please bear with me.  I'm from Earth, and…I'm a Starfleet officer." 

Realization dawned on Kathryn as she looked at the young woman.  She looked quickly at Chakotay and saw him staring at her with the same amazed look on his face that she was sure she had.  Why it hadn't occurred to her immediately she didn't know, but in her sudden excitement she reached out and grabbed the girl's arm, interrupting her. "You're from the Yukon?" 

Now it was the young woman's turn to be stunned.  "Yes, that's right," she stammered, wondering how they could possibly know until another possibility occurred to her. "Have you…found others from my crew?" she asked haltingly, not wanting to get her hopes up. 

Her question was answered before the Captain even opened her mouth when the cargo bay doors opened and Commander Walker entered, looking around anxiously.  His gaze fell on the Captain first, and he started towards her with a hurried step.  When he saw the woman standing beside her a fraction of a second later, though, he froze in shock and disbelief. 

"Robin," he stammered.  He swallowed twice before he was able to speak again. "Is…"  He never got the rest of his question out before his attention was drawn to a young girl tearing towards him from across the cargo bay.  She looked to be about twelve years old, and had long dark hair with curls that bounced along behind her as she ran across the room.  The family resemblance was faint but noticeable, and Kathryn gasped when she realized who the girl was. 

"Daddy!" squealed the girl as she reached him, and he leaned down and picked her up in his arms, clutching her close to him. 

"Cassie," he gasped as he held her, trying to reassure himself that she was really there. 

After a moment, Cassandra tore her attention away from her father long enough to look at the people gathered around her.  She jumped down from her father's arms and looked at each of them in turn.  When she scrutinized the Captain, she cocked her head to one side as if puzzled. 

"So you're Cassandra," said the Captain with a smile. 

"Yes," said the girl shyly. 

She extended her hand. "I'm Kathryn Janeway, and this is Chakotay." 

The girl's eyes widened and she slowly took the proffered hand. "_Captain Janeway?" she asked with awe.  When Kathryn nodded, the girl cocked her head to the other side and then seemed to gain some confidence. "I didn't recognize you," she said. "Your hair's down, and you're bleeding." _

"It's just a scratch," she assured her with a smile. 

Cassandra turned back to her father, and Kathryn looked again at the young woman standing with them.  She was running her fingers through her hair and gave a deep sigh. 

"I can't believe it," she whispered emotionally. "I never thought we'd find you, and I never dreamed you'd have already found some of us, especially Commander Walker.  We saw his escape pod cornered by a Vaadwaur ship, so I thought for sure…"  Her voice broke and she stopped and closed her eyes. 

She opened her eyes again when the Captain addressed her.  "What's your name?" she asked gently. 

"Porter.  Ensign Robin Porter." 

The Captain extended her hand and Robin took it gently. 

"Welcome to Voyager."

Amazingly, none of the injuries from the crew of the cargo vessel were critical, and nobody from Voyager had been seriously wounded.  The Doctor barely had time to give them a report, because although there were no serious injuries, there were many minor ones and Sickbay was crowded.  As soon as the Captain was satisfied, he turned away and began treating more patients. 

"When will Mr. Paris be finished in the cargo bay?" he asked as he mended Ensign Lang's broken wrist.

"I'm not sure, Doctor, but I'm sure he'll come to Sickbay as soon as possible." 

Ensign Porter leaned over and spoke quietly to the Captain. "What's his name?" 

"I don't have one," said the Doctor grumpily. "Although I _am equipped with superior auditory processors." _

"I'm sorry…Doctor.  I wondered if I could possibly give you a hand here.  Looks like you're pretty busy."

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her quizzically. "Do you have medical training?" 

She nodded. "I was the Yukon's medical assistant." 

He grunted appreciatively and gestured to the other side of the room.  "Ensign McCormick has two broken ribs that require attention." 

Robin started towards the other side of the room, but before she got very far she faced the Doctor again.

"Doctor, if you need another set of hands, Cassandra there is a natural with a dermal regenerator." 

"Who?" he asked, puzzled. 

"Me," piped up Cassandra. "I'm Cassandra Walker.  Robin's been teaching me to be her medical assistant."

The Doctor looked at her for a moment in amusement before eventually deciding that she might be of use.

"Very well, Miss Walker," he said, handing her a dermal regenerator.  "Use this on the Captain.  I have a feeling she might actually listen to you." 

Chakotay actually managed a chuckle before he was silenced by a glare from Kathryn, but his shoulders continued to shake in amusement.  Before she could notice his continued mirth or had to conceal that she, too, was amused, they were interrupted when the doors to Sickbay opened and two people entered. 

One was a young woman, not more than seventeen or eighteen, with bright red hair that fell in loose ringlets around her shoulders.  She had striking green eyes that lit up with a smile when she saw Mark and recognized Captain Janeway.  The other newcomer was a man, about twenty-five, with short blond hair.

"Commander Walker," said the man in surprise as soon as they saw the group of people.  Mark broke into a huge grin when he recognized some of his former shipmates. 

"See?" Cassandra piped up beside the Captain, addressing the two newcomers.  She had pulled a chair over next to the Captain and was climbing up on it so she could reach the wound on her head.  "I told you he was on board.  I'm only twelve and a half but I _am empathic, you know." _

"I didn't want you to get your hopes up," admonished the young redhead. "Your abilities aren't fully developed yet." 

"This is Caitlin," said Cassandra as she ran the instrument slowly over the Captain's wound, indicating the young woman who had spoken. "She's been looking out for me." 

"Caitlin Bennet," elaborated the young woman as she shook hands with Kathryn. "I'm a second-year cadet at Starfleet Academy.  It's an honor to meet you, Captain." 

"The pleasure's all mine." 

The man with Caitlin extended his hand as well. "Ensign Michael Hawthorne.  I'm one of the Yukon's pilots." 

"A man after my own heart," said Tom as he entered Sickbay behind them.  He introduced himself and explained that he was Voyager's conn officer.  Seeing the questioning glance at the medical equipment in his hands, he added, "And medical assistant." 

"Tom," said the Captain, "There's somebody here you might want to meet – Ensign Porter.  She's the Yukon's medical assistant."  When Tom's face lit up, she stole a glance at Chakotay and he picked up where she left off. 

"I know how much you like working with the Doctor," he said, "So I'm sure we can put Ensign Porter's talents to better use elsewhere."  Chakotay was barely able to keep a straight face at this comment.  The Captain was not, and after a few seconds she let out a soft chuckle. 

"She's over there, Tom." 

The incessant movement of her head was impeding Cassandra's effort to repair the gash to her forehead, and the young girl finally became frustrated. 

"Hold still, please," she said in a grave tone, and she put her hand on the Captain's chin to hold her head in place.  She ran the dermal regenerator over the wound, and it quickly healed. 

"Good as new," she said with a grin as she stepped down. 

Mark turned his attention to the newcomers, especially Ensign Hawthorne, who was the senior officer of the group they had rescued. 

"How many?" 

"Nineteen," Ensign Hawthorne told him. "Two shuttles and three escape pods." 

"What about the others?" 

He shook his head.  "Lieutenant Madsen's shuttle and the other two escape pods were destroyed by the same ship that cornered you and the others.  We didn't think you had survived or we would have looked for you." 

"That wouldn't have done you much good – we were all held prisoner until seven weeks ago when Voyager rescued us." 

"How did you find us?" asked the Captain. 

"We asked around – it was a long time before we first encountered a species who knew of you, but for the past few months the trail's been easy to follow.  The Brennin had heard of you, but refused to tell us anything about where you had gone and when.  We negotiated passage on the Hathoran vessel so we could cross Brennin space.  We altered course after about two weeks when we detected you on long-range sensors." 

"The Brennin started pursuing us, and we've been trying to outrun them ever since," added Caitlin.  She took a deep breath as she looked around Sickbay.  "Ninety-five people," she whispered, "And this is all that's left.  I don't know whether it's a miracle or a tragedy." 

Captain Janeway looked at the young girl with sympathy and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. 

"Maybe," she said quietly, "It's both."

*    *    *

Voyager had weathered the Brennin attack surprisingly well, considering how badly they had been outgunned and outnumbered during the battle.  The hull breach on deck nine was quickly repaired, so the crew turned their attention to the daunting task of accommodating thirty-two new passengers. 

They had temporarily turned cargo bay one into a living area, setting up beds for their new passengers.  The thirteen Hathorans would be leaving the ship within days since they had detected one of their vessels within ten light-years, but the Yukon crew of course wanted to stay on board permanently, which presented some problems. 

Before they worried about where to put their new shipmates, most of Voyager's crew was curious to hear how they had managed to survive and track down Voyager.  A few of the officers that had been rescued joined Voyager's senior staff in the mess hall for a thorough retelling of their adventures over the past seven months. 

Ensign Porter and Ensign Hawthorne, the two senior officers of the group, were telling the story, although they had to put up with multiple interjections from around the table. 

"I really don't know where to start," began Ensign Porter.  "I'm so glad to have real food in my stomach I can barely think straight." 

"How about at the beginning," suggested Tom, who had been treating Robin like his new best friend since she represented a permanent escape from Sickbay. 

"After I gave the order to abandon ship," added Mark. 

Ensign Porter took a deep breath and told them what had happened.  She and Ensign Hawthorne, who were good friends, had arrived in the shuttle bay together and had started the launch sequence.  They had been joined in their shuttle by three crewmen, Cassandra Walker, and Cadet Bennet.  They managed to get the shuttle off the Yukon before it exploded, and even managed to avoid the Vaadwaur for a few minutes, who happened to be focused on another group of shuttles and escape pods (one of which was occupied by Mark).  Their shuttle had been damaged and was not warp-capable, so they had to stay out of the way of the Vaadwaur until they could get away.  Things were going well until one of the consoles overloaded from a damaged power grid, rendering Ensign Porter and two of the crewmen unconscious. 

By this time, the Vaadwaur had captured the twelve crewmen that had been previously rescued by Voyager and had destroyed some of the other survivors so they began to turn their attention to the rest of the shuttles and escape pods.  Ensign Hawthorne, thinking quickly, erected a dampening field to mask their lifesigns and with help from one of the engineering crewmen faked an impending warp core breach. 

Not wanting to be in the vicinity of the explosion and believing there was no one on board, the Vaadwaur left them alone.  Once they were gone, they eventually repaired the shuttle and were able to rendezvous with the few other survivors. 

They were forced to set down on an M-class planet to regroup, and after stripping the escape pods of everything they could use, they crowded into the two shuttles and set off to try and track down Voyager.  Their shuttles weren't large enough to support them for such an extended journey, and they eventually convinced a cargo transport to give them passage in exchange for some power cells.  When they reached the end of the cargo vessel's course, they used the shuttles to get to the next inhabited system, where they offered to work on board a freighter in exchange for passage. 

They continued like this for months, offering spare parts, the use of their shuttle, or their expertise to get them closer to the Alpha quadrant.  They jumped from ship to ship, system to system, slowly getting closer to Voyager's trail.  It was a long time before they actually heard of Voyager, while serving on a merchant ship that passed near the Nygean homeworld.  After that, the trail was easier to follow, and they were soon led to the Brennin, who acknowledged that they had encountered Voyager, but they claimed that Voyager was collaborating with the Kesseret and refused to reveal any further information. 

They determined that Voyager had probably gone through the war zone, but since they were weeks behind them, they decided to cross Brennin space since it was the shortest route.  The ship they were on refused to get involved with the Brennin, so when they heard that the Hathoran vessel was looking for a good pilot and a couple of engineers, they offered their services in exchange for passage, and some spare parts in exchange for going into Brennin space and tracking down Voyager. 

When they finally detected Voyager, they set a course for the disputed area of space immediately (although it cost them their last two plasma relays to convince the Hathorans that this was a good idea).  The Brennin automatically assumed since they were heading for enemy territory that they were plotting against them and started pursuing them, finally catching them when Voyager found them. 

"And here we are," finished Ensign Hawthorne with a sigh. 

He was greeted with silence from around the table.  Everyone was stunned and didn't move a muscle. 

After a few minutes, the Captain recovered and spoke softly to the two ensigns sitting across from her. "Incredible," she said, shaking her head. 

They were interrupted when Neelix arrived with desert.  He had personally spoken with the recently rescued officers to find out what their favorite delicacies were, eager to please. 

"Ktarian pudding," he announced with a smile at Ensign Hawthorne, "New York Cherry Cheesecake," which drew an eager look from Ensign Porter, "And caramel brownies," which was greeted by chuckles from Voyager's senior staff, especially the Captain.  They helped themselves to the desert eagerly. 

Mark insisted that Seven try the Ktarian pudding.  "It's my daughter's favorite," he pressed her. "Try it – it literally melts in your mouth." 

She raised an eyebrow but took the bowl from him reluctantly.  Taking a tentative bite, she felt the foamy pudding dissolve on her tongue.  "A curious sensation," she commented.  "It is…delicious," she added with a small smile.  Mark grinned and took some for himself. 

Ensign Porter took a bite of cheesecake and moaned as it melted in her mouth.  "If I _ever see another emergency ration it'll be too soon." _

Chakotay chuckled.  "Well, I'm not making any promises, but I'll see what I can do." 

Ensign Hawthorne leaned across the table and addressed Robin.  "Do you remember when we were on that dilithium freighter?  We tried to get our minds off that slop they called food by dreaming up a feast?" 

She nodded.  "And the first thing I thought of was New York Cherry Cheesecake…followed by a long, hot bath." 

"I'm sure that can be arranged," said the Captain. 

"We'll get you some quarters as soon as possible," said Chakotay.  "But I'm afraid you'll have to share until we can come up with a more permanent arrangement – and even then you might have a roommate or two.  Voyager wasn't exactly built for this many people." 

"I've been living with eighteen people on crowded ships for over six months – I think I can handle a couple of roommates." 

"Just be careful you don't get put near Harry," said Tom. "Unless you're particularly fond of saxophone music, that is." 

"There's nothing wrong with my playing," said Harry defensively. "And it's better than getting stuck near you two and Miral – what have you been doing, teaching her Klingon opera?" 

Tom and B'Elanna glared at him, but Lieutenant Oren diplomatically changed the subject.  "Tom, you said you were going to bring up our idea with the Captain." 

The Captain looked questioningly at Tom.  He stopped glaring at Harry long enough to get a puzzled look on his face before he remembered what she was referring to. "Oh, right – our idea.  Neelix suggested that we have a party on the holodeck to welcome our new crewmembers aboard." 

"Sounds good, Tom." 

"What have you got in mind?" asked Chakotay.  "Another spectacular defeat at Sandrine's?" 

"I was actually thinking of something a little more…formal," Tom told him, ignoring the jibe at his pool skills. "Lieutenant Oren and I were going through the database and we thought we might do an old-fashioned ballroom." 

"A ballroom?" 

"Yeah – marble floors, chandeliers, the works.  Formal attire, no uniforms allowed.  Neelix can take care of the food, of course.  We can replicate some Saint Emillion, and I have a few bottles in my private stash that I'd be willing to break out for the occasion." 

"Not too much, Lieutenant.  We _are in the middle of an alien war zone – I don't want to have half the crew intoxicated if we go to red alert." _

"Noted," he said, returning her grin. 

"Other than that – sounds wonderful.  Get on it."


	5. The Best of Times

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

SUMMARY: Tom organizes a party on the holodeck, while Kathryn and Chakotay move forward.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

AWAKENINGS

CHAPTER FIVE : THE BEST OF TIMES

_Captain's Log, Stardate 54995.3  We are still over seven weeks away from the edge of the disputed space, but we have been able to avoid a confrontation with the Brennin since our rescue of the Hathoran vessel.  The crew has generously volunteered to put their comm time on hold for a week to give our newest crewmembers a chance to speak with their loved ones back home.  Commander Chakotay informs me that he was inundated with offers of comm time for the __Yukon__ crew.  The general feeling is that after waiting seven years for this, a week will make little difference, but even so I find myself continually surprised by my crew's generosity and selflessness._

The door to the Captain's ready room opened and Chakotay strode in, holding a PADD.  

"The Hathoran vessel just left.  Our passengers said to thank you again for rescuing them and for your hospitality." 

She smiled.  "Well, that's thirteen less people to deal with.  Any progress on what to do with the other nineteen?" 

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about.  I know I don't usually bother you with personnel issues, but I wanted your input on this." 

She nodded and got up from her chair to move over to the couch.  She poured two cups of coffee from the pot on the table and handed him one as he began. 

"For the duty rosters, I don't think we have a problem.  We've got more people than we know what to do with, and a lot of them are over qualified for the duties I've assigned them." 

"That's only natural.  Anyways, it's better than being understaffed." 

"B'Elanna said she's got so many people that she's starting a special task force in engineering strictly to look into some of the new propulsion technologies we've come across." 

"That's a good idea." 

"She put Jarel and Vorik in charge, and told them to take whoever they wanted as long as they left her enough people to keep the engines running in peak condition." 

The Captain froze with her mug halfway to her mouth.  "She put a Vulcan in charge with a Bajoran?" 

He looked up from the PADD.  "What about it?" 

"I hardly think they'll be able to work together without some friction.  What was she thinking?" 

He grinned at her.  "One might ask the same of you, putting a half-klingon Maquis in charge of a bunch of Starfleet officers in engineering." 

She chuckled.  "Point taken.  Just don't come running to me if she attacks him for calling her 'illogical.'"

He looked down at his PADD.  "Neelix wants permission to extend the airponics garden since he's got a few extra people under him now." 

"Granted," she nodded. "We've got a couple of botanists on board now, too, haven't we?" 

"Not to mention a blossoming geneticist.  Icheb submitted a proposal to me for a genetic engineering project with some of the plants." 

She frowned. "Doesn't Seven need his help in Astrometrics?" 

"I asked her.  She said she would adapt, of course.  Speaking of which, he's going to be taking the Starfleet entrance exam next month and if he passes he'll start taking courses right away.  He could probably teach a lot of the first-year classes himself, so he'll be starting out with some more advanced courses as well.  He and Caitlin Bennet will be taking courses together, since she's in her second year at the Academy." 

"At least Icheb has some company," she said.  "I always felt sorry for him not having anyone his own age."

"The same goes for Naomi Wildman," he replied.  "I hear she was thrilled to learn about Cassandra being on board.  Maybe this will take her mind off pestering you to become a bridge assistant." 

She laughed.  "We can only hope.  It is cute, though, you have to admit." 

"Now the only one left out is Miral Paris, but that probably won't be for long." 

"Oh?" she said with a raised eyebrow. "Anything I should know about?" 

"No – just a feeling.  I hear Shawn Briggs and Amanda Harding have set a date and are only waiting to get up the nerve to ask you to perform the ceremony.  And," he added, showing her the PADD, "I've had five more requests to share quarters." 

She whistled. "Nothing like cramped quarters to bring people together."  As soon as she said it, she froze and looked at him.  They had been so busy making room for the new crew and avoiding the Brennin that they hadn't talked since the night they spent in her quarters.  _Just like last time, she thought uneasily, but then she corrected herself.  Last time, after they had kissed in her quarters, he had kept quiet to give her space and she had kept quiet because she was having doubts, and it had been weeks before they finally talked about it.  The results of that delay had not been pleasant.  This time, however, they had not discussed it for different reasons. Even though they hadn't talked about it, they were communicating.  This time, if felt like it was mutual.  They were both enjoying the new understanding between them without wanting to either move backward or forward – at least for now.  Their silence on the subject this time around felt comfortable instead of tense. _

As proof of this lack of tension, Kathryn chuckled after her comment, and he joined her.  Normally, she would have quickly changed the subject and tried not to think about it, but now she considered giving it serious thought, 'it' being their sharing quarters, even though that might be getting ahead of herself a little.  So far they hadn't gone any farther than kissing and sleeping on her couch, so sharing quarters was a bit presumptuous…but it was worth some thought nevertheless. 

She was prevented from thinking too much on the subject when Chakotay interrupted her thoughts. 

"I know," he said, reading her mind. "You're not ready for that yet.  We don't have to talk about it now."

She smiled, grateful that he knew just what to say, as always. "Now, what about the rest of the quarters assignments?" 

"That's what I wanted your input on – the way things are now, there's not enough room for everybody."

She sighed. "That's putting it mildly.  Voyager was designed for a crew of 150 people.  What are we at now, 175?" 

"177," he corrected, "Counting Miral." 

She put her feet up on the table and rolled her head onto the back of the couch.  "I imagine you're having fun trying to fit everybody in, but is that what you want my input on?" 

"Not exactly.  I'm not sure how to go about reassigning quarters." 

"Oh?" 

"Well, take Megan and Jenny Delaney, for example.  The last time we rearranged quarters, Ensign Lang moved in with them, and now they've got Ensign Porter with them as well.  The thing is, Harry, or Tuvok, say, have more living space than the four of them do.  The same goes for a lot of the couples on board.  Not to mention Ensign Wildman – she and Naomi are in close quarters compared to some of the senior officers.  Do you see my problem?" 

She nodded. "At what point does seniority become more important than necessity?  Quite frankly, I'm not sure.  It does seem unfair that you and I and the rest of the senior staff have a lot of space all to ourselves, but we are in charge."  She thought carefully for a moment.  "I won't force any of the senior staff to give up their quarters, but feel free to reassign everyone else based on need.  If there's a lieutenant living alone who has more space than two ensigns living together, switch them.  Encourage people to volunteer to pair up, and give anyone who does larger quarters as long as they're sharing." 

He nodded and got up off the couch, heading for the door.  He spoke to her over his shoulder as he walked.  "This is still going to take some time.  Care to give me a hand over dinner?" 

"It's a date," she said, and he froze in disbelief. 

When he got his voice back after a minute, he managed to croak out, "Do you mean that or is that just a figure of speech?" 

Giving him a flirtatious smile, she sat down at her desk and picked up a PADD. "It is New Year's Eve, isn't it?  Why don't you cook dinner and find out?"  She pretended to ignore him after that, but he could see her eyes dancing with amusement and the corners of her mouth turned up. 

"I'll do that," he said. "See you at 2100?  My quarters?" 

She nodded, the corners of her mouth turning up further, and he turned and left the room.

*    *    *

The Captain strode purposefully down the corridor, not feeling half so confident as she looked.  She tried to ignore the curious looks of the crew as she passed them.  _So much for keeping this quiet, she thought.  She had decided not to wear her uniform to her dinner with Chakotay, and had decided instead on a sleeveless burgundy top with an angled v-neck and a pair of black pants.  Her attire was the reason for the questioning looks from the crew – at least she hoped it was.  She was probably blushing like a schoolgirl._

She had meant what she had said to him – she was considering this a date.  She just hoped the feeling was mutual – if he opened the door wearing his uniform she would feel like a complete idiot. 

He answered the door almost immediately, and part of her relaxed when she saw that he was also dressed in casual clothes and was lighting candles on the table.  Although she was relieved that they seemed to be on the same page for the tone of the evening, another part of her tensed up.  Pushing her uncharacteristic nervousness to the back of her mind, she smiled at him and entered the room.  He was staring at her with undisguised admiration. 

"You look…fantastic." 

As she moved closer to him, he broke out of his reverie and took her hand to lead her over to the table, holding her chair out for her, and then went over to the replicator to get dinner. 

Setting the plate in front of her, he popped the cork on a bottle of champagne and poured them each a glass before he sat down. 

"Here's to another year in the Delta Quadrant," he said with a smile, raising his glass in her direction. 

"May it be our last," she finished, and they clinked glasses.

After dinner, they retired to the couch over by the window.  As they sat down, he gestured to the stack of PADDs on the table beside them.  "I was serious, you know – I would like some help with all this work."

"Is that what I have to do to get you to cook dinner?" 

"No – to get me to cook dinner all you have to do is show up." 

She smiled and looked out the window, unused to this level of flattery from him.  At least out loud – she was beginning to realize that she was perfectly aware of how much he admired her even though he had never before put it so directly.  She had never really realized how much passed unspoken between them until it no longer remained unspoken. 

Seeing her unease, he sighed. "I'm sorry – I'm taking things too fast, aren't I?" 

"After seven years, I think you're entitled," she said with a sigh of her own. 

He frowned.  "I already mentioned this once, but since you were asleep at the time I suppose I'll have to say it again.  I didn't mean what I said in the turbolift, Kathryn.  I don't feel like I've had to wait seven years for this – it feels like we've been slowly working towards this moment for that long.  I don't regret a single day that I've known you.  Well…maybe the days that I didn't see you or anytime we were fighting," he added, trying to lighten the mood.  She didn't appreciate his attempt at humor and had a sad expression on her face, staring at her hands. 

"I know it's my fault…I was the one holding back.  I've wasted seven years being stubborn and selfish."

"The last word I would ever use to describe you is selfish, Kathryn.  Stubborn, on the other hand…"

Again his attempt to make her laugh fell short.  Her lower lip trembled almost imperceptibly and it suddenly dawned on him how upset she really was that it had taken her so long to come around.  He reached over and took her hands in his, making her look him in the eyes. 

"Kathryn, I want you to listen to me.  I don't regret waiting this long for you, and I never will, understand?  I think that if we had ever been at this point before now, it would have ended in disaster long ago.  You needed to accept it completely before there could be any chance of something between us.  I don't think that would have been possible until now." 

"If all it took was talking with the crew, I could have come to this conclusion _years ago." _

"I don't believe that.  You had to come to terms with this on your own time, to learn that you're allowed to live your life and still be the Captain."  Seeing she was still not convinced, he pressed on.  "If you had told me you wanted to pursue this before you had worked everything out, I think I would have thought less of you." 

"What?" she said quietly. 

"If you ignored what you thought was the crew's best interests to pursue a relationship with me…you wouldn't be Kathryn to me if you had done that.  You're the most selfless and dedicated person I've ever known.  That's why I don't think it could have worked until now." 

He reached over to the vase that had been on the dinner table and removed the rose that was in it, showing it to her.  It was of an unusual coloring - red on the edges but white in the center. 

"Do you know why I chose this particular color?" 

"No…I did wonder why it wasn't red." 

"Because of what it represents.  A red and white rose stands for unity." He smiled.  "We're in this together,  Kathryn.  For the first time I really feel like we're in the same place." 

"On the same page," she whispered. 

"What?" 

She shook her head.  "Nothing – just something Mark said."  She reached over and took the rose from him and smiled as she looked at it.  She reached over and put her hand on the side of his face, tracing her thumb along his cheek.  She had been going to thank him, but when their eyes met she realized she didn't need to say it out loud. 

Instead, she leaned forward and kissed him.  He returned it, hesitantly at first, but then with more passion.  He slid closer to her on the couch and leaned on her as she fell back against the couch.  The back of his neck tingled as she ran her hand over it, and her hand slowly moved up until it was on the back of his head.  His hands moved to her waist and slowly around it and back again.  Running his hands up and down her side, he felt the curve of her hips under his fingers.  Moving one of his hands upwards, his fingers caught on the hem of her shirt, and his hand slid unintentionally under the material and came into contact with the bare skin underneath.  When his fingers touched the soft skin above her hip, he felt her tense up immediately. 

It was an unconscious reaction, at first – she was hardly used to feeling a hand under her shirt.  A few seconds of thought, however, did not dissipate the tension.  _There's no going back, she thought.  Although she realized on some level that they had probably long ago passed the point of no return, taking their relationship to the next level was a daunting step, and one that she couldn't take lightly. _

Sensing her hesitation, even though she continued kissing him, Chakotay thought for a few seconds before he withdrew his hand from where it had ended up and pushed himself off her. 

"This isn't going to get you out of helping me with the quarters assignments, you know," he said with a grin, rolling to the side and reaching for a PADD. 

She looked at him for a moment, surprised, before she responded quietly.  "Chakotay, I…"

"I know, Kathryn.  Don't worry about it.  Now here," he said firmly, handing her another PADD. 

She reached her hand out but still hesitated to take it. 

"You want to wait," he said.  "Frankly, so do I.  Just as long as it's not another seven years, okay?" 

"Okay," she said quietly, and finally took the PADD from him.  She moved over so she was sitting in front of him and curled up with her back against his chest and her head on his shoulder.  He smiled at the intimate way they sat together, and stretched his legs out on either side of her.  He wrapped one of his arms around her and held the data he was looking at in the other. 

They quickly fell into their normal working relationship, working efficiently through the stack on the table beside them.  They had almost finished when Chakotay noticed her trying to conceal an incessant series of yawns and her eyes drooped. 

"Maybe we should call it a night." 

"Mmm," was her only reply as she snuggled closer to him, setting the PADD down and closing her eyes.  He grinned and returned to the PADD he was working, only tearing his attention away from the task at hand when she spoke again. 

"Chakotay?" 

"Yes?" 

"Would you mind…if I slept here tonight – like this?" 

It took him a minute or two to find his voice, although the reply came instantly to his mind, and she stared at him until he finally replied.  "Of course I don't mind.  Did you really have to ask?" 

"I suppose not – but I wanted to see the look on your face when I did.  It was priceless." 

He chuckled and put the PADD aside.  "Computer, lights down to ten percent."  Grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch, he threw it over their legs as he made himself more comfortable on the couch.  She rolled over so she was on her stomach with her head on his shoulder, and her breathing slowed almost immediately. 

"Good night, Kathryn," he said quietly.  Her only reply was a contented sigh as she moved her head closer to his neck.

*    *    *

This time when Chakotay awoke, Kathryn was not on top of him, and he lifted his head up, looking around.  Before he had looked very far, a steaming cup of coffee was shoved beneath his nose.  The cup was held by a familiar delicate hand, and he followed it up to Kathryn's smiling face. 

"Rise and shine, Commander.  We're due on the bridge in forty-five minutes." 

He sat up on the couch and took the coffee from her, and she sat beside him on the couch.  He noticed with surprise that she was wearing her uniform. 

"How did you get into your uniform?" he asked, puzzled and still not fully awake. 

"The same way I do every morning," she teased him with a straight face.  "I put it on."  She enjoyed his confusion for a moment before she explained.  "I replicated one – I can always use an extra uniform."  She leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "Who knows – I may leave it here for future occasions." 

While he choked on his coffee in surprise, she rose from the couch and moved across the room to the replicator to get her own cup of coffee.  When he had finally finished sputtering, he addressed her again.

"You had better hope that nobody was looking for you last night." 

"Not a problem," she insisted.  "The computer and I had a little chat last night before I came over here."

"Oh?" 

"Computer, locate Captain Janeway." 

_Captain Janeway is in her quarters._

His eyebrow went up.  "False bio-readings?" 

"Nothing _that devious.  I merely convinced the computer that your quarters are also my quarters, and vice-versa.  I figured I had my commbadge and the chance of anyone actually going to look for me in my quarters was slim to none, so…"_

Something else was on his mind. "Wait a minute…you thought you'd be spending the night?" 

She threw him a playful glare. "Call it a contingency plan.  Now come on – go get dressed and we might have time for breakfast in the mess hall." 

"Aye, Captain."

*    *    *

Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, Talia and Neelix had all collaborated to get the holodeck ready in time for the party they had suggested.  Neelix had been cooking nonstop in the mess hall for days, and the other four had spent every spare minute of their time on the holodeck.  B'Elanna had even brought Miral down to the holodeck with her so both she and Tom could lend a hand.  The group had refused to let anyone else see the fruits of their labor, even the Captain.  They said they wanted to surprise people as they entered, and if they saw it half programmed it would take away from the first impression. 

The Captain expected that it would be impressive from the way Tom and Harry were strutting around the ship full of themselves.  She admitted that she was looking forward to it, and had even gone to the trouble to design and replicate a new dress for the occasion. 

A little while before the party was scheduled to begin, she took a long, hot bath.  She was just getting out when her chime rang on her door.  She reached for the robe nearby, and pulled it around herself as she walked into the other room. 

"Enter," she called as she tied the robe around her waist.  She was a little surprised when she saw Seven of Nine enter with a PADD in her hands. 

"Seven, if this is about ship's business, it can wait until tomorrow." 

Seven shifted on her feet uncomfortably.  "It is not." 

The Captain stopped in her tracks – Seven coming to her quarters for something not related to the ship was unusual, if not unheard of.  The ex-drone stepped towards the Captain with the PADD in her hands. 

"Mr. Neelix and Lieutenant Paris have informed me that my usual appearance will be…insufficient…for tonight's social gathering." 

"Oh?" 

"They claim that the crew will be wearing formal attire, and suggested I choose something suitable from the database."  She held out the PADD towards the Captain.  "I wanted to be certain that my selection was…appropriate." 

She took the PADD and examined it.  As she was looking at it, Seven noticed the garment over the back of the nearby chair.  She reached over and picked it up by the straps, holding it out in front of her.  Her eyebrow went up and she looked at the Captain. 

"Is this what you are wearing?" 

"Yes," said the Captain, looking up momentarily.  "What do you think?" 

"It is…impressive." Seven considered the garment carefully. "It is quite different from your usual choice for a social gathering, Captain." 

She laughed.  "I suppose it is."  She handed the PADD back to Seven.  "It's perfect, Seven.  You have excellent taste." 

The other woman beamed at the unexpected praise.  "It is sufficient?" 

"It's more than sufficient – it's stunning.  Mark will love it." 

Seven stiffened.  "Why is Commander Walker's opinion relevant?" 

"I think he finds you…intriguing.". 

Shifting uncomfortably, Seven took a minute to respond.  "He is…very friendly." 

"Friendly?  That's it?" 

Seven thought carefully.  "He reminds me of Unimatrix Zero…the sensations I experienced there." 

Surprised at that level of admission, she stared at Seven for a few seconds before she changed the subject, seeing that it made her uncomfortable. 

"Well, I'm sure everyone will like this dress.  I'd love to see it on you – why don't you replicate it here and try it on?" 

Seven was surprised for a moment, but then nodded and moved over to the replicator.  A pile of red material appeared in the replicator, and Seven picked it up and moved into the bedroom. 

She emerged a few minutes later wearing a stunning red dress.  It was strapless, exposing the creamy pale skin on her shoulders.  The top of the dress was straight, and the bodice clung tightly to her curvaceous figure.  The skirt was flared slightly at the bottom, and was long enough that there was a slight train at the back.  The overall effect was stunning. 

"You look wonderful, Seven.  But your hair looks too…"

As she searched for the right word, Seven reached behind her head and pulled the pins out of her hair, letting it fall to her shoulders. 

"Better?" she asked, smiling. 

"Much.  But you're still missing something…I know." 

She went into the bedroom and rooted around for a minute before she came back out. 

"This," she said, holding up a silver necklace. 

She walked over and stood behind Seven to put the necklace on her.  Seven fingered it as Kathryn did up the clasp. 

"This is yours?" 

"It was given to me on the Alsaurian homeword a few years ago, by a man who saved my life."  When she had the neclace fastened, she moved to stand immediately in front of Seven. 

"It suits you nicely," she said with a smile. 

"It's…perfect," agreed Seven quietly.  "Thank you, Captain." 

Their tender moment was interrupted when the door chimed. 

"Come in," she said over her shoulder.  She saw Seven's eyebrow go up, and she turned around to see who was there.  It was Chakotay – she should have known.  He seemed surprised to see she had company, but his surprise at Seven's presence was pushed to the back of his mind when he saw what Kathryn was wearing. 

She noticed him staring at her appearance, and she self-consciously pulled her robe tighter around her.  Chakotay tore his gaze away from her after a few moments, and turned to Seven. 

"You look wonderful, Seven," he complimented. 

"Thank you, Commander," she replied, obviously pleased with the approval.  She noticed that both of her companions' cheeks were flushed, and the Captain was staring at the ground, so she decided to make a graceful retreat. 

"If you'll excuse me, Captain.  Commander." 

With that, she moved past them and left. 

Kathryn looked at Chakotay looking at her and smiled shyly, tightening her robe about her again. 

"I didn't mean to intrude." He moved closer to her and gestured towards the dress on the back of the chair.  "Is that the dress you're wearing?" 

She nodded.  "Would you like to see it on?" she asked quietly. 

"That's okay – I'll see it eventually…and, quite frankly, I like what you're wearing now." 

He had been moving steadily closer to her as he spoke, and when he finished they were standing so close that their bodies were nearly touching.  He brushed her hair back behind her ear and lightly traced his fingers along her shoulder. 

She closed her eyes and gasped at his soft touch, shuddering involuntarily.  The sensation of his fingers running delicately along her skin was like an electric shock. 

"Sorry," he said, removing his hand.  "I couldn't help myself.  I'll let you get dressed." 

He stepped back, but she reached out and grabbed his hand. 

"Don't go," she whispered. 

She stepped forward, getting up on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him.  He quickly overcame his surprise and kissed her back, his hands moving to her waist.  She let out a soft groan as his hands moved around her over the thin fabric of her robe.  She pressed closer to him, and he could feel the heat from her body as he continued kissing her. Despite the fabric between them, the impression of her body alone was enough to make his knees weak. Without thinking, one of his hands moved around from her back and fumbled at the rope holding her robe closed.  Her arms came away from his neck and moved down to her waist to undo the loose knot in the robe. 

When he realized what they were doing, he pulled her hands away from the rope and put his hands on either side of her head, pulling her away from him and looking at her, her hands hanging limply at her side.  They were both breathing heavily, but he managed to speak nevertheless. 

"Kathryn…are you sure?" 

She reached up and stroked his arm, looking at her hand.  "About what?  Sure that this is a good idea?" She grinned. "Not really.  Sure that we can make this work?  Of course not.  Am I sure that I want to try?" 

She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. 

"I've never been more certain of anything in my life." 

He thought for a moment before he responded, trying to think clearly despite the fact that she was standing in front of him wearing nothing but a thin robe.  "It's not now or never, you know." 

"I know.  But maybe it's just…now." 

She put one of her hands on top of his on the side of her face and leaned forward to kiss him again.  He didn't resist this time, and moved his hands from her head back down to her waist, feeling the curves of her body as he went.  She started working at his uniform jacket, and he removed his hands from her long enough to get the jacket off and toss it on the couch. 

She was backing slowly across the room, but stopped when she came into contact with the table.  She leaned back as his lips moved down her neck slowly, and then back up so he was kissing her just below her ear. 

"We're going to be late," she gasped as she tried to undo the knot in her robe with trembling fingers. 

"That will make it more fun for everyone else," he whispered in her ear. 

"What makes you say that?" 

He pulled away from her neck and looked at her with a mischievous glint in his eye.  "Because they'll entertain themselves by imagining why we're both late.  And for once they'll be right." 

She chuckled, and put her hands on either side of his face, leaning forward to meet his lips with hers.  He stepped back from the table, pulling her with him.  They struggled to remove their clothing, their lips still locked together as they slowly made their way around the table and headed for her bedroom.

*    *    *

"Mr. Paris, I must say you've outdone yourself this time." 

"Thanks, Doc, but I had a lot of help." 

"I don't believe it," said B'Elanna.  "He's actually giving us credit.  Did you hear that, Harry?" 

"Huh?" 

"Don't mind him," said Tom.  "He's too busy looking for Megan Delaney." 

"I am not!" protested Harry.  "I'm just…seeing who's here so far.  Uh…have any of you seen the Captain?"

"No," said B'Elanna, looking around. 

"And come to think of it, Chakotay's not here either," added Tom.  "That's odd – the party's already going.  Usually she puts in an early appearance and cuts out.  I wonder why she's late." 

"Perhaps she's on the bridge," suggested the Doctor. 

"No," said Tom.  "She was really looking forward to this.  I think her exact words were 'a herd of hungry targs couldn't keep me away.'"  

He snagged two champagne flutes from a passing waiter and gave one to B'Elanna while he took a sip out of the other. Surveying his handiwork around the holodeck, he noticed someone new enter the holodeck and his jaw dropped. 

"Take a look," he whistled, gesturing toward the french doors that he had programmed as the entrance to the room. 

His companions turned to see what had caught his attention, and their eyes widened collectively when they saw Seven of Nine enter in her stunning red dress.  The Doctor's eyes were wider than everyone else's, but his face clouded over when he saw Commander Walker immediately approach Seven and offer her his arm.  He looked even less impressed when he saw that Seven seemed pleased by the gesture.  She must have seen them, because she and Mark immediately moved over to join them. 

"Seven, you look great," said Tom appreciatively. 

"Very nice," added B'Elanna. 

Seven nodded her appreciation and looked around the holodeck with admiration.  "Your simulation is…impressive, Lieutenant." 

Tom and the others had programmed a nineteenth-century ballroom, with black and white marble tiles on the floor, pillars around the room, and even a pair of massive chandeliers that hung above the dance floor.  There was a balcony on one half of the room with an ocean view, and Tom had programmed a clear night sky with a full moon and plenty of stars.  Harry, with his musical knowledge, had programmed an orchestra which was sitting at one end of the room.  At the other end, Neelix had food set up, although there were holographic waiters moving around the simulation with champagne and hors d'oeuvres. 

"Thanks, Seven.  You know, when we're off duty, you can call me Tom.  That goes for everybody." 

She looked a little uncomfortable, but nodded after a minute with a small smile on her face. 

"Do you know where the Captain is?" asked B'Elanna. 

Seven frowned.  "She has not arrived?" 

"There's no sign of her," said Harry.

Seven barely managed to conceal her surprise.  Considering who had arrived before she left the Captain's quarters and the way the Captain had been dressed, an assumption immediately leapt to her mind but she decided to respect her privacy and kept it to herself. 

"I was in her quarters less than an hour ago, and she was not yet ready.  However, I suspect she has had enough time to prepare and will probably arrive shortly." 

"Well, I'm not going to waste my evening waiting for her to show up," said the Doctor as the orchestra started up a new song and people began moving around the room.  "If I know the Captain, she's probably working instead of relaxing.  Seven, perhaps you'd care for a waltz?" 

Seven shifted uncomfortably, unwilling to hurt her friend's feelings.  "Comman…Mark has already asked me to dance with him.  Perhaps later?" 

He nodded, trying to conceal his disappointment. 

"Not a bad idea," said Tom, and he grabbed B'Elanna's hand and pulled her to the dance floor. "I just hope I can remember how to dance." 

As Tom tried to refamiliarize himself with the steps, Mark and Seven floated effortlessly across the dance floor. 

"You were right," said Mark with a grin.  "You _do know how to waltz." _

"Thank you," she said awkwardly, unused to these kinds of compliments. "The Doctor is an efficient instructor." 

"And you look fabulous," he continued.  "I love that dress." 

Seven managed a small grin.  "The Captain thought you might." 

Mark looked at her in surprise for a moment before he laughed.  "I thought I was the one who was supposed to read minds."  They continued dancing for a few minutes before he spoke again.  "You know, Seven, there's something that I've been wondering for a while – how come you don't wear a uniform?" 

"I am not a Starfleet officer," she replied, puzzled that he would even consider it. 

"So what?  Neither are most of the Maquis.  You're a member of the crew – why shouldn't you wear a uniform?" 

Seven considered for a moment.  "I do not have a rank," she said finally. 

He shrugged.  "Why does that matter?  From what I've seen, you have as much authority around the ship as a lieutenant." 

"I do not believe the Captain would assign me such a rank." 

"Maybe not, but I'll bet she wouldn't hesitate to give you a uniform if you asked."  Watching her carefully while she considered it, he spoke again.  "I know it's frightening – another step towards humanity…but maybe it's time you took it.  If Voyager is your collective…become a part of it.  Entirely." 

"I will speak to the Captain about it tomorrow," she said finally, a smile creeping on her lips. 

His face lit up.  "Good.  I'm glad."  He pulled her a little closer as they danced, and although she resisted at first, she soon relaxed and let him lead her across the floor. 

When the song finished, everyone regrouped in their original position and chatted idly for a few minutes before something caught Tom's attention. 

"Hey, Harry – do you see that woman in the blue dress over there?" 

"Megan?" he said, looking over his shoulder. 

"Forget Megan Delaney – who is that?" 

"Who?" 

"The one in the blue dress standing over there near the door.  Short hair, low cut dress, _really nice body." B'Elanna elbowed him in the ribs.  "What?" he protested. "It's for Harry." Seven's eyebrow went up, recognizing the color of the dress, but she kept silent. _

Tom looked again at the woman, whose back was facing them.  Her hair fell to just above her shoulders, and in the lighting of the room appeared to be somewhere between brown and red.  She was wearing a dark blue dress that plunged from her shoulders all the way down to the base of her spine, leaving the smooth skin on her back exposed.  Although she looked very familiar, he couldn't figure out who it was without seeing her face.  He wondered if she was one of the crew from the Yukon – some of them he had only met once or twice, and probably wouldn't recognize them from the back. 

The woman slowly turned to the side, and although Tom couldn't yet see her face, B'Elanna could. 

"Uh…Tom?  I don't think Harry will be interested," she said with a smirk. 

Tom squinted, and his jaw dropped when the woman turned further and faced them – it was Captain Janeway.  She saw them and started towards them, and Tom didn't have a chance to overcome his surprise before she joined them.  B'Elanna reached over and put a hand under his chin, shoving his mouth closed.

"Captain," said B'Elanna, not quite as surprised as Tom and therefore able to use her voice.  "You look nice." 

"Thank you – so do you."  The Captain's dress was a deep shade of blue with a hint of purple in it.  The dress had a v-shape in both front and back – the dip in the front came modestly to just above her chest, but the one in the back fell dramatically to the small of her back in the fashion that Tom had been admiring, leaving her entire back bare.  The v's in the front and back were connected over her shoulders by a strip of material that narrowed as it rose towards her shoulders, where it came to a point and widened again as it went down the other side.  The dress was fitting until it went past her hips, where the skirt widened and fell loosely about her ankles. 

"Have you seen Chakotay?" asked B'Elanna. 

She could have sworn she saw the Captain blush slightly.  "He's not here yet?" she said as she looked around, feigning ignorance.  She knew perfectly well that Chakotay had gone back to his quarters to change out of his uniform, but she faked a puzzled frown as she surveyed the room.  "That's odd – I thought he would have been here long ago." 

"Never mind," said B'Elanna as she looked over the Captain's shoulder.  "There he is now." 

Chakotay entered the room and immediately spotted their group.  He paused to grab two champagne glasses off a nearby table, and stopped again to speak to Ensign Hawthorne, who came up to him as he was making his way towards their group.  They spoke for a moment, and then Hawthorne followed him across the room. 

When they joined them, Chakotay greeted them and handed the champagne flute to the Captain, moving to stand just behind her slightly to the side. 

Tom scrutinized the Captain's expression with interest.  There was something there that he couldn't quite put a finger on.  She looked like…what?  _Like the cat that ate the canary, he thought suddenly, the old expression coming to mind.  His mother had often used that phrase to describe him when he was young.  Looking at the Captain, her facial expression seemed familiar to him somehow.  It took a few seconds for him to place it – he had worn that expression for at least a week after he and B'Elanna had first… His eyes widened.  __It couldn't be, he thought.  He shook the thought off as ridiculous and brought his attention back to the present when Chakotay addressed him. _

"Nice work, Tom," said Chakotay as he looked around the room. 

"It's magnificent," agreed the Captain, trying to ignore Chakotay standing so close behind her. 

"Seven, I believe you owe me a waltz," said the Doctor, and she took his proffered arm and moved away.

Harry, finally spotting Megan Delaney, quickly excused himself with a foolish grin on his face. 

"Captain?" said Chakotay, offering her his arm. 

She tried to restrain her smile, but she was afraid she didn't succeed when she saw Tom nudge B'Elanna as they moved off. 

They moved towards to the middle of the dance floor and then gradually out on to the balcony.  They started out innocently enough in a formal position – he had one hand on her hip, she had one hand on his shoulder, and their other hands were clasped off to the side. 

"Having second thoughts?" He was smiling, but he scrutinized her carefully. 

She smiled.  "_Way too many, in fact…I'll have to be __very careful around Commander Walker." _

He smiled and they moved a little closer together.  "Have I mentioned recently that you look fabulous?" he said quietly as they moved with the music. 

"Not in the last few minutes." 

"It won't happen again," he whispered back.  "You look stunning in that dress." 

She chuckled.  "That's funny," she said under her breath with a raised eyebrow.  "As I recall, the first thing you did when you saw me wearing it was take it off." 

He laughed softly.  "I have to admit, it looked _much better on the floor." _

She bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud and looked at the ground to try and conceal from the crowded room the color that she could feel rising in her cheeks. 

Before very much time had passed, they had unconsciously drawn closer together.  Her hand was resting lightly on the back of his neck, his hand had moved around to her back and there was very little space between them.  Their clasped hands were resting on his chest between them, and they were nearly cheek to cheek.

His hand moved intimately over the exposed skin on her back, exploring the angles and curves of her back with his fingertips.  He traced the outline of her spine, then flattened his hand, pressing his palm against her warm skin. 

She let out a barely audible groan and whispered quietly into his shoulder.  "If you don't stop that, I'm going to make a scene."  He chuckled softly, but left his hand where it was. 

Not very far away, Tom and B'Elanna were talking quietly as they danced.  B'Elanna nudged Tom when he didn't reply to one of her comments.  "Tom?  Are you listening to me?" 

His eyes were so wide they were practically bulging out of his head, and his mouth was hanging open. 

"Tom?"  she prompted again. 

"Look at that," he said excitedly, inclining his head in the general direction of their commanding officers.

"What?" 

"The Captain and Chakotay." 

Her face registered some surprise, but nothing near what Tom seemed to be experiencing.  "They're dancing – so what?" 

"You don't see anything unusual?" 

"No," she said, confused.  "I expected them to dance together…maybe not _that close together, but what's the big deal?" _

He sighed in frustration.  "See where his hand is?" 

She looked closer.  "Yeah, it's on her back.  So what?  I can think of lots of places it could be that would surprise me a whole lot more." 

Tom rolled his eyes.  He tried a new tactic since she didn't seem to be catching his meaning.  "If anybody but me were touching _your back like that, what would you do?" _

"Easy.  I'd break their nose…"  She trailed off and her expression finally registered the surprise that Tom's had.  "No way," she whispered, glancing eagerly at their commanding officers.  "Do you think…"

He chuckled.  "I don't know." 

He, along with most of the bridge crew, had noticed the change in the Captain's demeanor over the past few days.  It was like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and she was more cheerful that usual – almost giddy.  Whatever unpleasantness had been between her and Chakotay was long gone, and they were working together like never before.  However, Tom hesitated to jump to conclusions, because in the past when the Captain was in a particularly good mood or her and Chakotay were getting along better than usual, he had often told others that he thought they might finally be involved.  Since he had always been proved wrong, he now hesitated to jump too quickly to that conclusion. 

As she and Chakotay slowly turned, Kathryn noticed Tom and B'Elanna staring at them and spoke to Chakotay under her breath.  "Don't look now, but we have an audience."  He nonchalantly took a few steps to turn them around so he was facing their observers again. 

He leaned forward so that his lips were close to her ear. "Well, why don't we either give them something to look at or get out of here and go someplace a little more private?" 

A mischievous grin spread across her face.  "We're not going anywhere – we have a deal." 

"A deal?" he said, puzzled. 

She put on an innocent expression.  "I'm supposed to be the last one to leave, remember?" 

He rolled his eyes dramatically.  "Me and my big mouth." 

Seeing that Tom and B'Elanna were still staring at them, she pulled away from him slightly, assuming a more formal position. 

"I take it back," he said.  "Care to reconsider?" 

"You'll have to convince me that we should leave," she said with a flirtatious smile.  "Just what did you have in mind, Commander?" 

Across the room, B'Elanna frowned as she watched them dancing.  "You might be right for once," said B'Elanna.  "Look at the way they're whispering." 

Her eyes widened.  "And I swear he's making her blush." 

*    *    *

Kathryn cracked her eyes open and took a deep breath as she slowly woke up.  She saw Chakotay laying beside her in the dim light, and she smiled and closed her eyes again.  He was laying on his back, and she was beside him with her head on his shoulder and her arm on his chest.  His bare chest rose and fell rhythmically under her, so she knew he was still sleeping. 

After a week of waking up next to him, the rush of pleasure and the sense of belonging still caught her by surprise every morning.  In the days, or rather nights, following the party, they had spent every night in either his quarters or, more often, hers.  She recalled that first night with a smile.  They had actually lasted for close to three hours at the party that night before they had finally given in and left.  They had danced with other people of course, but most of the time were joined at the hip.  She was pretty sure some of the crew, Tom and B'Elanna in particular, were suspicious, but she wasn't concerned about it.  She hadn't deluded herself into thinking that their involvement could be kept from the crew for very long – although she had expected their privacy to last a little longer than an hour. 

She had never imagined that becoming close to him like this, letting him into her life, could make her feel this complete.  It was like she had discovered a part of herself, a part of her life, that she hadn't known was missing until he had provided it.  Her first thought when she woke up every morning was that she didn't want these quiet moments to end. 

She opened her eyes again and looked at his sleeping face.  He looked so peaceful that she didn't want to wake him, so she gently pulled herself out from under his arm around her shoulders and rolled over.  Glancing at the chronometer, she saw that it was 0640 and she frowned.  Last week, before the party, she had stupidly agreed to a meeting with Vorik and Jarel in Engineering at 0700 today before her shift started.  Of course, she had done that before she had any idea that she would have this much incentive to stay in bed. 

She sat up, pulling the sheet around her, and looked around her quarters with a knowing smile.  It was a mess, although it was neater than the night of the party.  Then, their clothes had been scattered on the floor in a trail leading in from the door – his suit had been all over, and her dress had been in a blue pool at the entrance to her bedroom.  This time, there were two semi-organized piles of clothing, and the trail started at her bedroom door rather than the entrance to her quarters.  She reached over the side of the bed and grabbed a shirt that was sitting there, pulling it over her head and putting her legs over the side of the bed.  She gave him one last look before she walked over to the dresser and pulled out a clean uniform from the top drawer.  She smiled – on the opposite side of the drawer was another uniform – Chakotay's.  After the first night he had spent here, the night of the party, she had replicated him one first thing in the morning.  She pulled it out of the drawer and set it on the table near the bed for him, since he always forgot where she had stashed it in her room. 

Putting on her own uniform, she did up her jacket and adjusted her collar.  Her rank pips were placed side by side on her neck, and she brushed her hair in the mirror.  Looking at her reflection, she smiled.  Her complexion was practically glowing – she was sure it would be noticed by half the crew at least.  She frowned when she noticed something that was missing – her commbadge.  She picked up her dress on the floor that she had worn for dinner last night, but the commbadge was no longer attached to it.  It took her a few minutes of rooting around the mess of clothing before she finally found it, underneath his shirt.  She attached it to her uniform and started for the door. 

She paused at the entrance to the bedroom and looked at Chakotay, still sleeping.  She hated to leave before he was up, since it might give him the wrong impression, but she didn't want to wake him up.  She stopped to get a cup of coffee from the replicator and was about to leave for her meeting when a PADD on the table near the couch caught her attention. 

She walked over and sat down on the couch, picking up the PADD.  An idea slowly came over her as she read it, and on an impulse she entered a few commands into it.  She moved back into the bedroom and set the PADD on top of the uniform, and after checking that he was still asleep, she left, a grin spreading across her face. 

*    *    *

The first thing Chakotay realized when he woke up was that he was alone.  He sat up in a panic, thinking he had dreamt it all.  He relaxed, though, when he saw that he was not in his quarters, but in Kathryn's.  The bed next to him was empty, but when he put his hand on the sheets they were still warm.  He swung his feet onto the floor and got up.  Looking at the chronometer, he saw that he still had an hour before he and Kathryn were due on the bridge, so he wondered where she had gone.

"Computer, locate Captain Janeway," he said. 

_Captain Janeway is in Engineering, level 2._

He remembered her mentioning something about an early meeting with Vorik, and he relaxed.  For a minute he had begun to worry that she had had second thoughts and had taken off. He lay back on the bed with satisfaction.  When the chime on his door had gotten him out of bed at three in the morning two weeks ago, he would never have guessed that it would lead to him waking up in her quarters. 

Finding no point in staying in bed alone, he sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed.  Their clothes that they had worn last night were still in a pile on the floor, and he smiled.  Good thing she had thought to keep an extra uniform around for him – but where did she say she had put it?  He frowned as he tried to remember, but his dilemma was solved when he saw the clean uniform laying folded on the nearby table.  Leave it to Kathryn to think of everything. 

Only when he had his uniform on did he look at the PADD that had been sitting on top of the uniform.  He frowned – he had expected a note from her, but instead he saw that the PADD was the one he had given her to look over.  It was his final draft of how he planned to reassign crew quarters.  He shrugged, assuming that she was just returning it to him, and started to put it aside.  Just as he put it on the table, he picked it up again and froze, noticing the alteration she had made.  A smile slowly spread on his face and he chuckled, not believing his eyes. 

She had rearranged some of the senior staff, and had reassigned him…to her quarters. 


	6. The Maquis

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

SUMMARY: After a discussion with Starfleet brass, the Captain makes some changes aboard Voyager.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

AWAKENINGS

CHAPTER SIX : THE MAQUIS

Chakotay tried to keep the bounce out of his step as he walked along the corridor.  He was sure that everyone he passed was looking at him strangely and knew immediately from looking at him that he had spent the night in the Captain's quarters.  _Don't be ridiculous, he admonished himself.  __You're just being paranoid.  He entered the mess hall and walked over to the galley. _

"Good morning, Commander," Neelix greeted him.  "Did you sleep well?" 

Chakotay froze for a moment before he realized that it was a perfectly innocent question.  "Not bad." 

"Can I get you something for breakfast this morning?" 

"Just coffee," he said, grabbing a piece of fruit from a nearby basket.  "I'm due on the bridge in fifteen minutes." 

He might actually have had time for breakfast had it not taken him so long to wipe the grin off his face from reading the PADD Kathryn had left for him. 

He turned around and saw Tom, Harry, and B'Elanna sitting at a table. B'Elanna saw him and motioned for him to join them.  He hesitated for a moment, but then made his way over to their table. 

He could have sworn Tom was giving him a funny look as he pulled up a chair and sat down, but he ignored it and chalked it up to paranoia.  Neelix came over and poured Chakotay a cup of coffee. 

"Everyone's still talking about the party last week," said the Talaxian.  "I'd say it was a real success." 

Chakotay nodded, looking at the fruit he was peeling to avoid their gaze.  "You all did a fantastic job.  We should do things like that more often." 

"I think the Captain really enjoyed herself," said Tom, with a smirk that implied a double meaning.  Chakotay saw B'Elanna elbow her husband in the ribs, but she was smiling as well. 

He paused for a moment as if thinking.  "Yes, I think she did."  It was with great difficulty that he kept from laughing or even smiling – they had both spent the entire party trying to resist the urge to leave.  He could see that Tom, and to some extent B'Elanna, were puzzled at his expressionless face, and he thought Harry beside him was looking smug.  "I think pretty much everyone had a good time," he added.  "Now, I'd love to stay and chat here all morning, but I have some work to do before my shift, so I'll see you all at the briefing." 

He got up from the table and left the mess hall. 

Harry glanced over his shoulder to make sure he was gone before he turned back to Tom and B'Elanna.  "You two are out of your minds," he said, leaning across the table and speaking quietly.  "I didn't see anything." 

"He ran out of here pretty fast after we mentioned the Captain," insisted Tom. 

"He had work to do.  Besides, he didn't even blink when you said that the Captain had a good time." 

"Just because _you can't keep a straight face when anybody mentions a woman you're interested in doesn't mean other people can't.  Especially Chakotay – you and I know first hand how well he can bluff."_

"And you didn't see them dancing," said B'Elanna.  "I was skeptical at first, too, but…I've never seen them like they were at the party." 

"You commented yourself how relaxed she looked," pressured Tom. 

"I'm not buying it.  First of all," said Harry, "She was looking forward to it for days – you said so yourself.  And besides, everybody enjoyed themselves." 

B'Elanna decided it was a waste of effort to try and convince Harry, so she changed the subject.  "Especially Seven of Nine.  Did you see her?  She actually seemed to be having fun." 

"Why is that so surprising?" said Harry defensively. 

B'Elanna looked at him with a smirk.  "Come on, Harry – she's always looked at social gatherings as a waste of time.  Now, all of a sudden she's one of the last people to leave." 

"So what?  She was having a good time.  A lot of people stayed late." 

"I'm surprised you even noticed, Harry," said Tom.  "You were never more than two meters away from Megan the entire evening." 

Harry blushed and sputtered, "So what?  We're friends." 

"Come on, Harry – you've had a thing for her for years.  Now that she's finally interested, you're all over her." 

"I am not!" 

"Hey, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it.  As a matter of fact, I think you've finally found a woman you can actually have – she's not Borg, dead, a terrorist, or a hologram.  And now that she likes you, she's not the wrong twin anymore." 

B'Elanna snickered at that.  "He's got a point, Harry."  She then decided to put him out of his misery.  "Well, we've got a briefing to go to.  Unless you'd rather stay here and make fun of Harry," she added in Tom's direction as she rose to leave.  Tom had a final chuckle at Harry's expense before he got up as well, and Harry soon followed him.

The Captain was not on the bridge when Chakotay exited the turbolift, and when he entered the conference room he found it empty except for Tuvok and the Doctor.  Chakotay sighed with relief – there was little chance of Tom making innuendoes about him and the Captain when Tuvok was around. 

He was barely even in his seat before Tom and the others showed up.  Before long, Seven and Mark entered the room, in the middle of a conversation.  They stopped talking abruptly when they saw the room was occupied, and they sat down across from each other. 

Captain Janeway was only a few minutes late by the time she finally showed up, a large cup of coffee in one hand and a PADD in the other. 

"Sorry I'm late," she said with a wave of her hand with the mug in it.  "Ensign Vorik is surprisingly talkative, for a Vulcan." 

The staff chuckled as she took her seat at the end of the table. 

"Let's make this quick.  Tuvok – any sign of trouble?" 

"A large contingent of Brennin ships appears to be shadowing us, but they are still five light-years away.  I suggest we nevertheless proceed with caution." 

"Agreed.  Tom, take us up to warp 8.  Let's see if we can lose them." 

"Aye, Captain." 

"B'Elanna – how are things on your end?" 

"Just fine, Captain.  The engines haven't been running this smoothly in months." 

"Good work.  Seven – the modifications to the phasers?" 

"Proceeding on schedule.  We should have them ready to use against the Brennin within two days, and our simulations predict they will be much more effective against their shielding." 

"Excellent."  She leaned back in her chair and took a sip of coffee.  "Anything else?" 

"Yes," said the Doctor.  "We're getting low on medical supplies.  If we don't restock within the next three weeks, they'll be at dangerously low levels." 

"That goes for the food supplies as well," said Neelix. 

"I doubt we'll get the chance to resupply anytime soon – you'd better do what you can to make them last," said Chakotay. 

"We've been stockpiling energy reserves," said B'Elanna.  "If we divert them to the replicators we should be able to go longer without using emergency rations." 

The Captain nodded at her.  "Anyone else?" 

"Yes, Captain," said Neelix. "Some of the crew were wondering when they will be reassigned quarters."

Tom was sure he saw Chakotay and the Captain throw a glance at each other, and their cheeks were definitely redder. 

"That's a good question.  Commander?" 

"They, uh…" He cleared his throat.  "Soon – I have a few things I want to run by the Captain, but I'm almost done.  I'm going to give people a little longer to volunteer to pair up, so I'll finalize it next week."  He was waiting for an opportunity to discuss Kathryn's…amendment…with her, and even if she was serious he didn't want the crew to know about it for a little while at least. 

Looking around the table, the Captain saw that there were no other matters to discuss, so she dismissed them.  Without a signal from her, Chakotay knew instinctively to stay behind, and she smiled as he watched the others leave. 

As soon as the door closed behind the last person, he turned to her with a grin on his face. 

"Well?" 

"Well what?" she replied, feigning innocence. 

"That little PADD you left for me – were you serious?" 

"Oh…that," she said with a shy smile.  He moved closer to her and sat on the conference table in front of her.  She leaned her hip against it and faced him.  "Yes, I was." 

"What about the crew?" he said, trying to be objective and calm despite the elation that threatened to take over his rational thought. 

She sighed.  "Don't be ridiculous.  You and I both know that Tom is on to us already.  It won't be long before the entire ship knows." 

He looked down at the floor and chuckled.  "Maybe not.  I think they've been trying to convince Harry, but with limited success." 

"It won't take much, I'm sure.  This crew is too observant for it's own good." 

He laughed again, but looked up at her and became serious.  "Don't you think we're taking things a little fast?" 

"Hmm," she said, smiling.  "Moving in together after only seven years – maybe you're right." 

"I mean it.  It hasn't even been a week since we…since the party.  And it hasn't been that long since you decided that this was worth a try.  This is a pretty big step." 

"You don't want to?" she asked, disappointed. 

"It's not that, Kathryn," he assured her.  "I just want to be sure you're ready." 

She thought carefully for a moment and ran her hand up and down his arm.  "Well, we're practically living together as it is.  The only difference will be that we'll only have one place to spend the night instead of two." 

He took a deep breath, finding it difficult to think clearly when all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and spin her around.  "It's a fairly…permanent arrangement," he said carefully. 

She looked at him in surprise.  "And that bothers you?" 

"No…I'm kind of surprised it doesn't bother _you."  After a moment's thought, he reconsidered.  "But then again, you never do anything by halves." _

"Is that a yes?" 

"I guess it is." 

A huge grin broke out on her face, and she laughed and threw her arms around his neck.  He put his arms around her waist and kissed her, lifting her off her feet.  When he set her down again, she cleared her throat and straitened her uniform. 

He looked sheepishly at his feet.  "So much for keeping it off-duty," he muttered.  "Sorry about that." 

"I think you're entitled, since I snuck out on you this morning," she said, patting his arm.  "Now, there's something I did want to mention," she said, starting for the door to the bridge.  He followed her across the bridge towards her ready room as she continued, ignoring the questioning looks from Harry and Tom as they walked.  "I'm going to be using the entire eleven minutes of comm time tomorrow at the request of Starfleet Command." 

"Oh?" he said as they reached her ready room.  "For what?" 

She turned around at her desk and put her hands on it, leaning back.  "Admiral Paris gave me a heads-up yesterday when I talked to him.  He and three other admirals want to talk to me…about the Maquis." 

He sighed and looked at the floor.  "We knew this was going to come eventually." 

She nodded. "I can't be sure what they're thinking, but I know where I…where we stand.  I think you should be there with me." 

"What will the admirals think about that?" 

"I don't care what they think about that – you should have a say in this.  I want you to be with me." 

"I'll be there," he assured her with a smile.

*    *    *

Captain Janeway picked up the remaining PADDs from her desk and carried them over to the couch by the window, along with her cup of coffee.  She settled herself on the couch and picked up the report on the top of the stack, taking a sip of coffee.  As she swallowed the bitter liquid, she made a face – it was ice cold.  

"Ugh," she muttered, getting up from the couch.  She moved over to the replicator.  "Coffee, black." 

Just as the cup materialized, the chime to her door sounded through her empty quarters and she grinned to herself – she had wondered how long it would take for Chakotay to drop by. 

"Come in," she said, picking up her cup from the replicator.  She heard the doors open and then slide closed again.  "I was wondering when you'd get here," she said as she blew the steam off the top of her cup. 

There was a short pause.  "I wasn't aware you were expecting me." 

Her eyes widened at the unexpected voice and she whirled around to see Commander Walker standing at the entrance to her quarters, grinning. 

She stunned into silence for a moment.  "Mark…I'm sorry," she stammered out finally.  "I thought you were…"

"He's on the bridge – he relieved me about two hours ago." 

She mentally cursed herself for not keeping a firmer control on her thoughts.  "What can I do for you, Mark?" 

His grin widened.  "I was hoping you'd join me for dinner." 

"I'd be delighted," she told him.  "What did you have in mind?" 

"My quarters?" he suggested. 

She nodded and he led the way out the door and down the hallway. 

When they reached the quarters that he and Cassandra were sharing with Lieutenant Carey, she was surprised when she entered to detect the aroma of garlic, butter, and parmesan in the room.  She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 

"I know you're telepathic," she said with a wry smile, "But you had dinner prepared already?" 

He gave an embarrassed smile and looked down at the floor.  "Don't take this the wrong way, Captain, but…I actually had other plans for tonight." 

"Oh?"  She thought for a moment.  "Seven of Nine?" 

"Seven of Nine," he confirmed.  "I've been stood up, I'm afraid.  I thought it would be a shame to let it go to waste.  I hope that won't stop you from joining me." 

"Not at all," she reassured him.  "It smells delicious.  What is it?" 

"Fettuccine Alfredo with garlic bread," he explained over his shoulder as he walked over to the replicator.  "One of my favorite Terran dishes."  He grabbed the two plates from the replicator where they were being kept warm and moved back over to the table.  "I was hoping Seven would enjoy it as much as I do," he added as he sat down. 

"Did she say why she couldn't make it?" asked the Captain as she reached for a piece of garlic bread. 

Mark shrugged.  "She said something about updating the Astrometrics scans of the Brennin vessels in the area." 

She looked up, surprised -- Seven had given her a brand new scan not four hours ago. 

Mark glanced up and caught her confused look before she had a chance to conceal it.  His face fell. 

"I see," he said softly.  "She's getting very good at hiding things from me." 

"I'm sure she's just trying to be thorough in her scans, Mark." 

He smiled sadly.  "I can tell you don't really believe that.  You and I both know that's not it." 

She sighed.  "Mark…I've seen that you're very…fond…of Seven, but maybe you're just moving too fast."

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean…you seem to be interested in becoming romantically involved with her.  She's some a long way in the past four years, but…to be honest, I'm not quite sure if she's ready for the kind of commitment you're probably looking for." 

"I haven't seen anything to convince me of that.  And no offence, Captain, but I can tell a lot more about her state of mind than you can." 

"You haven't known her for very long.  I was there when she was liberated from the Collective.  I watched her integrate with the crew, regain her individuality… I like to think I can read her rather well." 

"I'm sure you can," he conceded.  "But what makes you think she's not ready for a relationship?" 

She thought for a moment.  "It took Seven a long time to begin socializing with the crew on a purely platonic basis.  Even now, she calls almost everyone by their rank off-duty.  It's only in the past few months that she's stopped showing reluctance in attending social functions.  I think a relationship like you're looking for with her is a big step.  Maybe you're pushing her too fast." 

"Maybe she could use a good push.  When she first started socializing with the crew, was it voluntary?"

"Not really," she conceded.  "But socializing with the crew is one thing – pursuing a relationship is entirely different." 

"I agree.  But that doesn't mean she doesn't have to face her fear." 

"Her fear?" 

"I think that's why she backed out on me tonight.  She's afraid of exploring that aspect of her humanity."

"Don't push her, Mark – the more you try to force her, the more she'll pull away." 

He sighed in frustration.  "I can sense something in her – I don't know whether to call it a soul, a personality, or what, but it's there.  It's so close I can almost touch it, but it always seems just beyond my grasp.  That – _that – is what I'm willing to push for.  That part of Annika that was buried when she was assimilated.  I think – I hope – I can bring it to the surface." _

"I hope you're right." 

"It's like there's a war going on inside her…between what she's had to be to cope and what she could become, given the chance.  Seven of Nine seeks perfection and wants to be efficient.  Seven likes things to stay the way they are.  But there's more to her than that.  _Annika is a sensual, emotional, amazing individual… she wants to experience new sensations, new emotions.  I want Annika." _

"But the rest of us, we know Seven.  If you described her like that to anybody but me, they'd think you're crazy." 

"But _you know her.  You understand." _

The Captain put her elbows on the table and leaned forward.  "Mark…you can't change who she is." 

"I'm not trying to…I don't want to get rid of the Seven we all know – her Borg personality traits are a part of her.  What I want to do is help her find a balance between her Borg self that she's had most of her life and her human self that she's only beginning to discover…a balance I don't think she's ever had." 

"Maybe she has," said the Captain softly, thinking of her interaction with Seven in Unimatrix Zero. 

"Oh?" said Mark, his curiosity peaked. 

"When I visited Unimatrix Zero…you're familiar with our involvement with Unimatrix Zero?"  He nodded.  "When I went there with Seven, she was human." 

He frowned.  "In what way?" 

"In every way.  Her implants were gone, she was dressed differently, she acted human…and the others called her Annika.  Watching her with Axum…if I didn't know her, I would never have guessed that she was Borg." 

Mark frowned.  "Wait…did you say Axum?" 

She looked up from her meal in surprise.  "Yes," she said softly after a moment.  "Why do you ask?" 

He frowned.  "When I asked Seven if she would have dinner with me tonight, I sensed something like nervousness or panic in her.  I didn't think anything of it, at first – I assumed it was just general anxiety over what I guess you would call our first date – but it was accompanied by other emotions as well.  Fear, uncertainty, regret, pain, loss…and some affection.  The only word I was able to make out of it all before she suppressed it was 'Axum'.  I didn't know what it meant." 

"He was one of the people she knew from the time she had spent there as a drone." 

"They were friends?" 

"They were…more than friends." 

"I see," he said, beginning to understand. 

"When she met him again…he tried to renew their relationship." 

"And Seven was reluctant," he guessed. 

"At first.  I only know what she told me, but…she began to remember their relationship, the feelings they had shared." 

"And then it was destroyed." 

She nodded.  "Afterwards, Seven admitted that she and Axum had been more than friends.  I think the experience affected her more than she was willing to admit." 

"I'll bet," he muttered.  "That also explains why she thought of him earlier…my interest in her reminds her of him." 

She reached over and put her hand on his arm.  "Give her time, Mark.  Give her time." 

*    *    *

Chakotay entered Astrometrics and saw that the Captain and Seven were already there. 

"Not a moment too soon," said the Captain as he entered.  She tried to smile, but was obviously concerned about the outcome of this discussion with Starfleet brass.

Seven nodded at the Captain.  "We're ready to begin." 

"Do it." 

A group of four individuals were sitting at a table wearing the uniforms of Starfleet Admirals.  On the far left was Admiral Paris, seated next to a woman with blond hair that Kathryn recognized as Admiral Nechayev.  On the right of Nechayev was Admiral Hayes, who had been communicating with Voyager since their first contact four years ago.  The man to the right of Hayes at the end of the table was unfamiliar.  He was an older man, nearly bald with a grey beard. 

"Hello again, Captain," said Admiral Paris. "I believe you know Admiral Nechayev and Admiral Hayes, and this is Admiral Blackwell." 

She nodded her acknowledgement. 

"We apologize for taking up your crew's comm time," said Nechayev. "But we felt it was necessary to have this discussion with you." 

Taking the hint from Nechayev's expression, the Captain nodded at Seven of Nine to leave.  The ex-drone nodded at the Captain and left Astrometrics.  She watched her go over her shoulder, then turned back to the Admirals on the viewscreen. 

"This is my First Officer, Commander Chakotay," she said, extending her hand towards the man at her side.

She saw Nechayev and Hayes glance at each other in surprise, and Blackwell did not look impressed.  Only Owen Paris did not seem surprised. 

"We had expected to discuss this in _private," said Blackwell. _

Janeway's expression became cold.  "I understand that, but I insist that he be present.  He's my First Officer, and moreover I understand that what we're going to discuss involves him and his former crew." 

The other three looked at Blackwell, who appeared to be the senior officer of the group, and after a moment he nodded.  The Captain's shoulders sank in relief – this would be much easier with Chakotay at her side.

"Well, since our time is somewhat limited, let's begin," said Hayes.  "Now, I'm sure we're all familiar with your logs, Captain, but perhaps you could further describe the status of the Maquis on Voyager." 

Her jaw set – this was not going to be a pleasant conversation. 

"I'm sorry?" 

Hayes glanced at the others, puzzled. 

"The status of the Maquis," repeated Nechayev. 

The Captain leaned forward with her hands on the console in front of her.  "As far as I'm concerned, _Admiral, I don't have any Maquis on my ship.  I don't have Maquis officers and Starfleet officers – I have a crew, and an exceptional one at that." _

Her vehemence took them by surprise, and the leaned back in their chairs and glanced at each other uneasily.  Hayes addressed her again after a few moments. 

"The Maquis are serving under you?  They follow protocols?" 

"I'll admit we hit a few rough patches at first.  But now?  Absolutely." 

Chakotay spoke for the first time. "Captain Janeway and I decided from the start that if our crews were going to work together, it would be as a Starfleet crew." 

"I imagine she didn't give you much choice in the matter," said Nechayev with a raised eyebrow. 

"I'm surprised she didn't throw the lot of you in the brig," said Paris.  Although Nechayev and Hayes snickered slightly at this, Blackwell frowned, and the Captain got the sense he took the comment seriously.

"Believe me, Admiral," she said, ignoring Blackwell's somber expression, "It occurred to me more than once over the first few weeks." 

The Admirals, except Blackwell, smiled at this, but she continued on a serious note. 

"But if I had, I can say with absolute certainty that we wouldn't be alive right now.  I've come to rely on them as much as any of my Starfleet officers.  And in some cases, more than that," she added, with a meaningful look at Chakotay. 

"I'm curious as to why you put Maquis officers in positions of seniority ahead of your own officers," said Nechayev. 

The Captain considered for a moment before she replied.  "Well, to begin with, I think it was a natural move for me to make Chakotay my First Officer.  He sacrificed his ship to save Voyager, he was the leader of the group we were trying to integrate, and he was a former Starfleet officer.  In hindsight, it was the best decision I ever made, followed closely by my decision to follow his recommendation for chief engineer."

"Lieutenant…Torres," said Hayes, looking at a PADD.  "Half-klingon?" 

"And one of the best engineers I've ever had the privilege of working with.  When she came on board, she was volatile, sometimes unreliable…now, she's a fine officer.  I would trust her with my life and the lives of this entire crew." 

"She's turned her life around," said Admiral Paris with a smile. 

"I hardly think you can be objective here, Owen," said Nechayev. 

"Maybe not, but he's still right," said Chakotay.  "Lieutenant Torres has become a different person from the one that came on board Voyager seven years ago." 

"That can be said for many of the former Maquis," agreed the Captain.  "They're a fine crew, and any one of them would do Starfleet proud." 

"I noticed your rather…glowing…recommendations in their personnel files," said Nechayev.  "I must admit I was somewhat surprised." 

"Captain Janeway doesn't take nearly as much credit as she deserves," said Chakotay.  "But she doesn't exaggerate.  She's been an exemplary leader over the past seven years, and she's moulded this crew into an efficient team." 

"I can see that from some of the entries in your logs," said Paris. 

She nodded and paused, wanting to say something but unused to speaking with officers who outranked her.  "Permission to speak freely?" 

Nechayev and Hayes looked at each other and then at Paris, who nodded. 

She took a deep breath and asked the question that she knew the entire discussion was leading up to. 

"When we get back to the Alpha Quadrant, do you plan to hold them responsible for their crimes?" 

The Admirals did not respond immediately, and looked at each other as if to confirm that they were all on the same page. 

"Quite frankly," said Nechayev.  "That's why we wanted to speak to you in person." 

"We read your recommendations and your logs, and we wanted to speak with you to determine…well, to hear it from you personally," said Hayes. 

She raised an eyebrow and waited for them to continue. 

"I think from what we've heard so far," said Nechayev finally, "It seems as though we will have no reason to prosecute them, but I'm not making any promises.  With all due respect to Admiral Paris and the Pathfinder project and your crew's determination, Captain, there's no telling when you'll get home.  Things could be different down the road." 

This was the best that the Captain had allowed herself to hope for, and her shoulders slumped in relief.  She reached over to squeeze Chakotay's arm.  Looking back at the viewscreen, she noticed that only Admiral Blackwell seemed displeased. 

"One point of concern, however," said Admiral Hayes, "Is that some of your crew was lobbying the Cardassian government for the release of Maquis prisoners." 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Chakotay move to answer, but she laid her hand on his arm to stop him from taking responsibility. 

"Yes," she acknowledged, "I'm well aware of that…and, quite frankly, I think they've got a point." 

They were obviously surprised at that.  "You do?" said Admiral Paris. 

She nodded.  "From my understanding, all prisoners of war were to be released?" 

"That's right," Paris told her. "But you know the Cardassian prison system – it's less than fair, and that's putting it mildly." 

"The few remaining Maquis clearly pose no threat to Cardassia.  What possible reason can they have to continue holding them?" 

"You can't say for certain that they're not a threat," protested Nechayev.  "That's what Starfleet said when they first learned of the Maquis." 

"The situation on Cardassia is far different from what you may remember, Captain," added Hayes.  "Over 800 million Cardassians died in the final days of the war alone.  The new government is very reluctant to show any leniency towards a group of people who made it their mission in life to kill Cardassians." 

"They were willing to release the Federation prisoners, weren't they?" she countered. 

Nechayev sighed.  "After pressure was applied from the Federation Council." 

She crossed her arms.  "And now we come to the heart of the issue – the Federation isn't willing to protect its own citizens." 

"They forfeited that protection the minute they broke the treaty with Cardassia," said Nechayev defensively. 

Chakotay had kept silent until now, well aware that his opinion on this would not be held in high esteem by the admirals, but he spoke up finally.  "I don't mean to say 'I told you so,'" he said, "But the Cardassians broke that treaty at the first opportunity." 

The Admirals were well aware of this fact and shifted uncomfortably. 

"Wouldn't you defend _your home in the same situation?" asked Captain Janeway rhetorically.  "From what I've heard, that's exactly what the  war with the Dominion was all about – protecting your homes from the Founders.  Starfleet launched an offensive to prevent being wiped out by the Dominion.  How is that any different from the Maquis?" _

"I'm surprised, Captain," said Paris.  "In all the years that I've known you, you've never shown any particular sympathy for the Maquis." 

She turned her head towards Chakotay and then looked back at the viewscreen with a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.  "Well, Admiral," she said finally, "I don't believe I had met any before we were thrown out here." 

After she said this, a new idea took root in her mind, and she considered it for a few seconds before deciding it was worth a try. 

"You say these prisoners are a bunch of criminals?"  She didn't get a response but continued nevertheless.  "Then if the Cardassians won't release them, why don't you extradite them?" 

Chakotay and the Admirals looked at her in surprise, this idea having never occurred to them.  After a moment of silence, Admiral Paris chuckled and shook his head. 

"Never black and white with you, is it, Kathryn?  You always have to head straight for the gray area." 

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and made eye contact with each of the Admirals in turn.  Nechayev and Hayes were eying her with restrained admiration and respect, but a chill ran down her spine when she met Admiral Blackwell's gaze.  She was met with such unrestrained hostility and fury that she nearly gasped.  When she blinked, though, and looked again, he was merely staring at her impassively.  Her attention was drawn away from him when Admiral Nechayev spoke again. 

"That might be a viable option, Captain.  You do realize that would mean a Federation trial and most likely incarceration." 

"It's better than a Cardassian prison," said Chakotay, and he could see by their reactions that the Admirals agreed with him. 

"We'll give it some consideration," promised Hayes. 

"Thank you," she told him sincerely.  Her console in front of her beeped, and she looked at it before returning her gaze to the screen.  "We only have thirty seconds left," she announced. 

"It's been a pleasure talking to you again, Captain," said Nechayev.  "And if I may say so…I can see how you've managed to keep your crew alive out there for seven years.  I'm confident we'll have the opportunity to meet again in person someday." 

"Likewise, Captain," added Hayes.  "You're doing a fine job." 

"We'll keep a docking bay open for you," said Owen Paris, echoing a phrase Kathryn had used in their first conversation.  "And Kathryn?  Give Tom…and his family…my best." 

"I will, Admiral.  Thank you." 

The image on the screen faded and then cut out completely.  Kathryn turned around and leaned back on the console, tilting her head back and closing her eyes.  When she opened them again, she saw Chakotay grinning at her. 

"You're incredible," he said, amazed.  "You managed to all but exonerate the Voyager Maquis and get them to try and free the Maquis on Cardassia, all in an eleven minute conversation with a bunch of duty-crazed admirals.  Very impressive." 

She allowed herself a small smile.  "Not to mention I managed to impress Admiral Nechayev – no small feat in itself."  Her smile quickly faded, though, and a frown fell on her face. 

"What is it?" he asked as they left Astrometrics, picking up on her strange mood. 

"I'm not sure…I just have a bad feeling about something.  I think it's that Admiral Blackwell." 

"He was pretty quiet." 

"It's more than that, but I can't put my finger on it exactly.  Something about him gives me a knot in the pit of my stomach." 

"Well, let's get your mind off him.  How about some lunch in the mess hall?" 

"Sounds good."

While they were eating lunch, their table was approached by Crewmen Briggs and Harding from the Yukon crew.  The Captain hid a smile as they moved towards her, having a pretty good idea what the engaged couple wanted.  She was proved right when they told her that they wanted to get married, and the sooner the better.  They told her that they had been engaged for over a year now, and were more than ready to take the final plunge.  She readily consented to perform the ceremony for them, and asked when they were planning on tying the knot. 

"As soon as Neelix can throw everything together," was Amanda's reply, accompanied by a shy smile.  "He says he can be ready in  three or four days." 

"Then it's settled.  I look forward to it." 

When they left, Chakotay leaned forward and spoke quietly across the table. 

"I told you," he said with a grin.  "And from what I hear, they won't be the last." 

"Oh?" she said, leaning forward as well.  "Who?" 

"Can't say." 

"Why not?" 

"It's not official yet, and from what I hear the woman involved doesn't have a clue.  Can't have her finding out ahead of time, can we?" 

She reached over and whacked him on the arm.  "Don't be ridiculous.  I won't tell." 

He enjoyed her frustration for a moment before he gave in.  "All right," he said.  "It's Ensign Larson and Ensign Brooks." 

"Really?  That's wonderful – I saw them dancing together at the party last week.  They seem really suited for each other." 

At another table in the mess hall, Tom was eating lunch with B'Elanna, Harry, and Megan Delaney.  The other three were intent on their own conversation, but Tom was more interested in the commanding officers. 

"Look at them," he hissed at the others.  "I'm telling you, I'm right this time." 

"Give it up, Tom," said Harry. 

"I don't see anything unusual," said Megan.  "What's the big deal?" 

"Look at the way they're whispering to each other.  They're acting like they're on a date or something."

"They're always like that when they eat together," said Megan innocently.  "I don't see any difference."

Harry looked at Tom with a smug grin on his face.  "Yeah, Tom, explain it to us." 

"I don't know why I waste my time with you, Harry," he muttered, and stabbed at his salad with a fork.  As he chewed, a new thought came to him and he grinned. 

"Tell you what, Harry," he said as he swallowed.  "B'Elanna and I have got some holodeck time saved, and all we need is a babysitter for Miral so we can have an entire day in the holodeck.  If I'm right, you'll look after Miral for us." 

"And if you're not?" said Harry, leaning back in his chair confidently. 

Tom glanced at B'Elanna for approval, and she nodded at him, smiling smugly.  "You get our holodeck time." 

Harry started to extend his hand across the table, but stopped suddenly.  "Wait a minute – what do you mean, 'if you're right'?  How will we know?" 

Tom thought for a moment and looked back at the Captain and Chakotay across the room.  He leaned over and whispered in B'Elanna's ear, and she looked surprised, but then nodded reluctantly. 

Tom turned back to Harry.  "I say two weeks." 

"Two weeks?" 

"Two weeks for them to either tell the crew or just let us find out." 

Harry preened.  "You've got a deal."  He shook hands with Tom, and then turned to Megan.  "So, how would you like an entire day on the holodeck?" 

He laughed as he and Megan left the table and walked out of the mess hall.  Tom glared at them as they left, and when he turned around, he saw his wife frowning at him. 

"Are you insane?" 

"What?" 

She leaned closer and whispered to him.  "You think they're going to share quarters that quickly?  Since when?" 

"Just a feeling," he shrugged, then leaned across the table.  "Did you notice at the briefing this morning the way they reacted when Neelix mentioned the quarters assignments?  They both acted guilty or something.  Not only that, Chakotay's excuse to wait until next week was flimsy.  I think he's giving them some time to think about it." 

She rolled her eyes.  "You'd better hope so.  If you're wrong," she added, stabbing her fork in his direction, "You're getting up for Miral's morning feedings for a week."

*    *    *

_Captain's log, Stardate 55032.7  It looks like we've managed to outrun the Brennin fleet that was tailing us – at least for now.  The senior staff is looking forward to taking a much deserved night off to celebrate the second marriage on Voyager, which will be starting in a few hours.  I think it's a good omen for the future of the crew, and I've encouraged the entire ship to celebrate – keeping in mind that we're in a potentially dangerous situation, of course._

Captain Janeway looked up from the tactical report she was reading when the door to her ready room chimed. 

"Come in," she said, putting the PADD aside. 

Seven of Nine entered and walked to stand in front of the Captain's desk, her hands behind her back.  "You wished to see me, Captain?" 

"Yes," said the Captain, getting up from her desk and walking to the other side of the room.  "I wondered if you were planning on attending the ceremony and reception tonight," she said as she walked up the stairs and turned around, leaning on the railing. 

Seven raised an eyebrow. "Is my presence required?" 

"No.  But it is requested.  This is the first real wedding on Voyager, so I expect a large turnout from the crew.  I had hoped the entire senior staff would be present." 

"The first wedding?" repeated Seven, puzzled.  "What about Lieutenants Paris and Torres?" 

"They didn't count," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand.  "They eloped – or as close to it as you can get on a starship.  Their idea of a wedding was to show up in my ready room and ask if I had five minutes to spare to marry them.  They didn't tell the rest of the crew until afterwards." 

"I see." 

"So?  Will you join us?" 

Seven considered this for a moment, then nodded.  "I will attend." 

"Of course," continued the Captain, "This is a formal event – we'll all be in our dress uniforms." She turned around to the table in front of her couch and picked up a large flat box, turning back around to face Seven and handing it to her.  "I expect you to be appropriately dressed." 

Seven was puzzled, and walked up the stairs to the couch, where she sat down and opened the box.  Inside was a neatly folded Starfleet dress uniform, in sciences blue. 

"A uniform," said Seven, surprised and unable to think of anything else to say. 

"I had a very interesting conversation with Commander Walker the other day.  He was under the impression that you planned to ask me for permission to wear one." 

"He was correct," said Seven, tracing her fingers lightly over the material.  She looked up at the Captain.  "I was waiting for an opportunity to do so." 

"Consider it granted.  I didn't think you had any interest in wearing a uniform.  I'm glad Mark brought it to my attention." 

"Thank you, Captain," said the ex-drone, putting a lid on the box and standing up to leave.  She moved to the door, but when it opened, she stopped and turned back to the Captain awkwardly.  "See you tonight," she said with a small smile.

*    *    *

"Neelix, you've done a marvelous job in record time," announced the Captain with a smile as she moved towards the Talaxian in the mess hall. 

"Thank you, Captain.  It was my pleasure.  You're the one who did the important job today," he added with a grin. 

"That cake looks marvelous," said B'Elanna.  "Almost makes me regret that Tom and I avoided this." 

"Almost," muttered Tom, with a sideways glance and the throng of people surrounding the newly married couple.  "They've been trying to get out the door for close to an hour now.  Oh, look…nope, intercepted again," he chuckled as the couple made a covert dash for the door but were stopped by the Doctor with good wishes. 

"Ooh, the Doctor – that's going to hurt," said B'Elanna with a chuckle. 

"This is getting ridiculous," muttered the Captain.  "I think it's time we put them out of their misery.  Doctor!" she called across the room, motioning for him to join her.

"I'm out of here," said Tom, and he and B'Elanna made a hasty retreat as the Doctor left the newlyweds alone and made his way towards the Captain. 

"Rats deserting a sinking ship," she muttered to Chakotay behind her as Tom and B'Elanna busied themselves a few meters away.  He chuckled under his breath but managed to put on a straight face as the Doctor approached. 

"Don't worry," she whispered, "Remember what I said I was going to do?  Well, remind me in about ten seconds." 

"Yes, Captain?" said the hologram. 

"Doctor," she said, taking a sip of her champagne.  "I was just…wondering…" She looked at Chakotay for help, but he averted her gaze and tried not to laugh.  "…how you and Ensign Porter are getting along." 

"Just fine," he told her. "I must say she's easier to get along with than Mr. Paris, and she's quite talented."

"I'm glad to hear it." 

"She has an excellent bedside manner," he continued. 

"Captain," said Chakotay with a straight face.  "I don't mean to interrupt, but you were going to…"

"Oh, yes, of course," she said hastily.  "Excuse me, Doctor." 

He looked a little put off, but seemed to accept it.  The Captain handed her champagne glass to Chakotay and walked into the galley, where she pulled out a medium-sized box and carried it out, setting it down on a table near the middle of the room.  He was surprised at the box – obviously she was doing something other that what he thought.  Chakotay followed her and gave her back her champagne when she set the box down.  Picking a knife up off the table, she tapped her glass to get the room's attention. 

"Thank you," she said when the room was quiet.  "I've already made one toast tonight, but I wanted to wait until our newlyweds had left before I took care of something else that had to be done.  I didn't want to steal their spotlight, as it were."  She took a deep breath and looked at Chakotay before she continued. 

Tom's first reaction was that she was going to announce their involvement, but two things soon squashed that idea.  First, Chakotay had a puzzled expression on his face and apparently had no idea what the Captain was going to say, and secondly, Tom didn't think that Captain Janeway would ever announce something like that in such a public way – both she and Chakotay were way too private for that. 

"As you may have already heard," the Captain continued, "Commander Chakotay and I talked with a group of Starfleet Admirals a few days ago.  They wanted to discuss the status of the Maquis on Voyager." 

Many of the assembled crew reacted to this information, and she could hear disgruntled rumblings around the room.  She held up her hand for silence, and waited for it until she continued. 

"They didn't make any promises, but they gave me very good reason to believe that none of Voyager's Maquis will be prosecuted upon return to the Alpha Quadrant." 

The room grew noisy again and she had to wait a minute before she continued.  "Also, I was officially informed this morning that Lieutenant Paris' parole violation will be graciously overlooked."  This announcement was greeted by laughter from around the room. 

"On another note," she continued in a more serious voice.  "Admiral Hayes and Admiral Nechayev have agreed to consider extraditing the Maquis still being held on Cardassia.  Although they will most likely serve time for their crimes, they would no longer be in the hands of the Cardassian government." 

This news was greeted by stunned silence, followed by excited chatter. 

"They didn't make any promises," cautioned the Captain over the noise, "But I have every confidence they will give it fair consideration." 

She looked at Chakotay before setting her glass down and reaching into the box on the table to pull out a smaller box that fit in the palm of her hand.  "But that's not what I wanted to say."  She took a step towards Chakotay.  "My little chat with the Admirals made me realize that this was long overdue.  We are one crew, and I think it's time that the final distinction be removed." 

She opened the box, and held it out to him to reveal three Starfleet pips inside.  She reached over and removed his Maquis insignia, replacing it with the pips, one by one. 

She smiled at him and patted his chest, turning back to the crowd.  "I told the Admirals this was a Starfleet crew.  Now, we'll look like one." 

She reached back into the box, pulling out another small one, and handed it to B'Elanna with a smile.  After passing out a few more, she left it to Neelix to distribute the boxes among the Maquis crew that was present, and then she grabbed one final box and walked over to where her senior staff was gathered, admiring the shiny new pips on Chakotay's and B'Elanna's uniforms.  Seeing that her entire staff was all present and accounted for, she turned to Ensign Kim. 

"Harry, I got an interesting letter from your mother the other day." 

The ensign shifted uncomfortably. "Oh…oh, really?" he said, clearing his throat nervously and trying to smile.  He knew exactly what his mother might have said in such a letter, and it was not pretty. 

The Captain tilted her head to the side and put on hand on her hip with an amused expression on her face.  "She seems to think you're long overdue for a promotion." 

The rest of the senior staff chuckled, while Harry looked down at his feet and stammered.  "Captain, I…"

"I told her that I happened to agree and I'd already spoken with Starfleet Command."  She smiled, opening the box to reveal a black-centered pip inside.  "Congratulations, Lieutenant," she said, placing the pip on his dress uniform while the rest of the staff looked on in amazement.  Chakotay was the only one not surprised – she had told him about it, and that was what he had expected her to do earlier. 

Harry was too stunned to say a word for a minute, fingering the new pip on his jacket.  He was finally brought out of his stupor when Tom clapped him on the back. 

"Way to go, Harry," he said with a laugh.  "Too bad I still outrank you." 

The congratulations of the rest of the senior staff gave him his voice back.  "Thank you, Captain," he said finally. 

"You've earned it, Harry.  I've lost track of the number of times you've pulled this ship out of hot water.  You're a fine officer." 

"Thank you, ma'am." 

"It's not crunch time, Mr. Kim," she said with mock seriousness. 

He laughed.  "Right.  Sorry, Captain." 

She smiled at him, then turned her attention to Chakotay as he pulled her aside. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to do this?" he asked, indicating his new pips.  "I thought you were just promoting Harry." 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I wanted it to be a surprise." 

"Well, it's a wonderful gesture, and it means a lot to me.  Thank you, Kathryn." 

"You're welcome." 

They were joined by Tom and B'Elanna, and soon after by Seven of Nine and Mark. 

"I notice the Maquis aren't the only ones who got a new look," said B'Elanna when Seven joined them, indicating her new dress uniform.  "It suits you, Seven." 

Seven nodded her acknowledgement, but changed the subject. 

After a few minutes of idle conversation, Tom suggested to Chakotay and the Captain that they join him and B'Elanna for dinner one night.  He had an alterior motive, of course – careful scrutiny and observation of his commanding officers – but his motives were at least partially genuine.  He and B'Elanna really enjoyed their company, and it had been a while since they had all seen each other off duty. 

On an impulse, he added, "Mark, Seven, perhaps you'd like to join us as well." 

Mark jumped at the opportunity, and pushed Seven to agree as well.  After much less prodding than usual, she consented to join them after hearing the Captain agree for both herself and Chakotay. 

"We could make an evening of it," suggested Tom, ever the matchmaker.  "We could have dinner and then go to the holodeck." 

"Sounds great, Tom"

"So who's cooking?" he asked with a grin. 

"How about you, Seven?" suggested the Captain jokingly. "You're quite the gourmet." 

She looked over at Seven, and noticed that she had her eyes squeezed shut and had her hand on her head.

"Seven?" 

When she didn't answer immediately, the Captain reached over and put her hand on Seven's arm. 

"Seven?  Are you all right?" 

"Yes," she finally replied.  "It's…nothing.  A slight malfunction in one of my auditory processors." 

"Maybe you should go to Sickbay," suggested Chakotay. 

"That won't be necessary," she insisted.  "It has dissipated." 

The Captain eyed her with concern, but let it pass for now as she turned her attention back to the conversation. 


	7. The Crisis

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

SUMMARY: Voyager finally runs out of luck as they travel through the disputed territory.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

AWAKENINGS

CHAPTER SEVEN : THE CRISIS

The first sign of trouble over the past few weeks came suddenly, unexpectedly, and without warning in the middle of the night the day after the gathering in the mess hall. 

The Captain, who had been fast asleep, started awake with a strong sense of foreboding and looked around the room anxiously. 

Nothing seemed out of place, and when she looked out the window she saw the stars streaking by in a comforting pattern.  She lay her head back down with a sigh and curled closer to Chakotay behind her.  They were both laying on their sides, with him behind her.  His arms were wrapped tightly around her, and she could feel his breath on the back of her neck.  The warmth of his arms was comforting, and she could feel the heat from his chest seeping into her back through the material of the dark blue nightgown she was wearing.  She smiled contentedly and put her arms over top of his around her waist. 

She was just drifting back to sleep when it happened.  There was the sound of an explosion, and the entire ship shook violently.  The Captain and Chakotay were thrown off the bed, still tangled together.  Her head hit the nightstand with a great deal of force, and when she hit the floor with Chakotay's weight on top of her, she felt the bones in her wrist snap underneath her. 

She lay still on the floor for a moment, trying to figure out what had happened.  She somehow felt Chakotay crawling off of her, and she could hear his voice but not what he was saying.  He rolled her over, and she heard herself groan but couldn't seem to move.  Her eyes were closed, and when she tried to open them nothing happened at first.  The fog in her brain slowly began to clear, and she became aware of a throbbing pain above her eyebrow, and a sharper pain in her wrist.  She felt his hand touch the pain above her eyebrow, and the sensation was enough to pull her out of her stunned state. 

She opened her eyes, but she couldn't see anything out of her left eye – there was something warm on top of it.  Through her other eye, she saw him kneeling above her in the dark.  She used her uninjured arm to push herself into a sitting position, and gasped when the room seemed to spin around her.  Chakotay was crouched beside her and grabbed her shoulders to steady her. 

"What happened?" she said, gently touching the painful cut above her eyebrow, feeling the blood that was running down her face. 

"I don't know," he replied, looking out the window.  "Are you all right?" 

She nodded.  "I have one hell of a headache, but I'll be fine.  You?" 

"I think I dislocated my shoulder, but other than that I'm in one piece." 

"Computer, lights," Kathryn ordered.  Nothing happened. "Computer, respond." 

"Main power must be down," Chakotay guessed, looking around the darkened quarters and then out the window above the bed. 

She followed his gaze out the window.  "We're not at warp," she said, surprised.  She turned around where she was sitting and felt around the nightstand for her commbadge.  It was no longer where she had left it, but she soon found it on the floor close by. 

"Janeway to the bridge – what's going on?" 

When there was no reply, she looked at Chakotay, puzzled and starting to become very concerned. 

"Captain Janeway to anyone who can hear me – please respond." 

There was still no answer, and Chakotay pushed himself off the floor and crawled across the bed to where his commbadge was sitting on the opposite nightstand. 

"Chakotay to the bridge," 

Again there was only silence. 

"The comm systems must be down," said Kathryn as she got up off the floor and steadied herself with one hand on the bed.  "Let's go." 

"Hold on," he said, sliding across the bed and grabbing her by the arm.  "First of all, I doubt you can even see with all that blood on your face – we should get that healed up right away.  And secondly, I don't think you want to show up on the bridge wearing that." 

"Fine." 

He followed her into the bathroom, where she let him hastily clean the blood on her face from the cut above her eyebrow.  Moving quickly, she strode back into the bedroom and tossed him his uniform before she removed her nightgown and put her own on.  She had some difficulty getting dressed with a broken wrist – which she was trying to conceal – and he had his own problems, trying to get his shirt on with a dislocated shoulder. 

Despite their injuries, they were quickly dressed and headed for the door.  When they reached it, though, they discovered that it wouldn't open.  Chakotay grabbed the manual release, and they got the doors open, each using only one arm. 

Stepping out, they discovered that the hallway was completely dark.  Chakotay stepped back into her quarters and grabbed a phaser and a flashlight.  When he reentered the hallway with the flashlight on his arm, they could see that it was filled with hazy smoke, although it didn't seem to be coming from a fire. 

"Looks like we blew a couple of EPS relays," said Chakotay, noticing the fried panels along the corridor. 

"Come on," she said, and they hurried down the hallway. 

When they reached the turbolift, they discovered with little surprise that it wasn't working. 

"We'll have to – " she began, but she was interrupted when Chakotay grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her away from a smoking panel on the wall that let out a shower of sparks in her direction. 

He turned to tell her to be more careful, but stopped when he saw her face taut with pain, looking down at her wrist that he was holding in a tight grip.  He let go of it, surprised, and she pulled it closer to her body. 

"Did I hurt you?" 

"No.  It's nothing." 

"It's not nothing, Kathryn – let me see."  He reached for her arm again, and she flinched before reluctantly letting him gently examine her now swollen wrist. 

"It's broken," he said surprised, and then his face clouded over. "Why didn't you say anything?" 

"I can handle it," she grumbled.  "Now, come on.  We'll have to use the jeffries tubes to get to the bridge.  Think you can climb up two decks with a dislocated shoulder?" 

"If you think you can with a broken wrist." 

She walked down the corridor and opened the door to the jeffries tube junction manually. 

"After you," she said, with a wave of her hand. 

He frowned at her in concern, but stepped through the doors nevertheless.  He started climbing upwards, using his dislocated arm to hold on the rails at waist level while using his good arm to reach up.  Kathryn below him was able to climb by wrapping her injured arm around the rails to keep herself from falling off while she grabbed the higher rungs with her good arm. 

They made their way to deck two, and then reached the junction with the tube that led to the bridge. 

"You okay?" he asked as he stepped off the last rung and started for the tube. 

"Right behind you." 

She followed him as they crawled through the tube, and when they reached the end, Chakotay removed the panel in front of him and crawled out of it onto the bridge.  It was pitch black, and he could hear the crackling of broken consoles somewhere nearby.  He could hear urgent voices around the bridge, and there was intermittent light from wrist flashlights that darted around. 

"Commander," said Lieutenant Oren as she moved over to the entrance to the jeffries tube. "Are you all right?"  She was followed by Harry and Tom close behind her. 

He nodded and turned around and helped Kathryn climb out of the jeffries tube. 

"Report," she said as she wiped more blood out of her eyes. 

"We hit a subspace mine," said Harry. 

"A mine?" 

"We were cruising along at warp 8 when all of a sudden there was a massive explosion off to port," reported Talia, who had been in charge of gamma shift and the senior officer on the bridge at the time. "It took out the main computer core on deck eleven and fused the emergency relays so bad that we haven't been able to get auxiliary power or even emergency power up and running.  We're dead in the water.  About the only thing that's still working is the environmental systems." 

"B'Elanna's already on her way to engineering to see what's going on," reported Tom. 

"Why weren't we able to avoid it?" asked Chakotay with his hands on his hips. 

"Theta radiation, sir," reported Ensign Jenkins, who had been at the helm.  "This area of space is full of it.  I think it's being produced by the mines themselves, as a sort of camouflage.  Not only that, I think they're cloaked.  Our sensors didn't pick up the mine and we had absolutely no warning." 

"Harry, we need to get the comm system up and running," ordered the Captain.  "Until we can get damage reports, we'll need to do it the old fashioned way.  Tom, I want you to take Ensign Lang and Ensign Molina and start doing a deck-by-deck survey of the damage.  Tell people what's going on and to report to their stations.  Recruit people to help you as necessary." 

"Yes, ma'am." 

The Captain and Chakotay had little they could do until they got some of the systems back, so Chakotay grabbed a medkit and forced her to sit still while he used a dermal regenerator on the cut on her head, which was still bleeding profusely. 

"We've got emergency power," announced Harry a few minutes later as a few lights flickered on, "And the comm system's back online." 

"Janeway to Engineering.  What's your status?" 

_Torres here, Captain.__  We're going to need at least another half-hour to get the main computer core back online, but the engines are in one piece if we need to get out of here._

"Good work, B'Elanna.  Keep me informed." 

"Uh…Captain?" said Harry.  "I don't think we'll be going anywhere soon." 

"What have you got?" she said, stepping around his console to stand beside him. 

"Partial sensors, short-range only – this entire area of space is filled with more of the subspace mines.  They extend as far as the sensors can reach." 

"We'll worry about getting around it later.  We'll hold position for now and get the primary systems back online first." 

"Yes ma'am," he said, and got back to work. 

After about half an hour, Lieutenant Paris had returned to the bridge after all decks had turned in damage reports when some of the systems had come back online.  He brought a few medical supplies with him, and treated the minor injuries of the bridge crew, including the Captain's broken wrist and Chakotay's dislocated shoulder. 

Tuvok, Mark and Seven had joined them on the bridge as well.  Seven, who was for the first time wearing her new uniform on duty, was working on getting long-range sensors while Harry was trying to restore main power and the rest of the primary systems. 

"I have long-range sensors," announced Seven finally, but then she frowned.  "The subspace mines extend for a distance of over…one hundred twenty-five _million kilometers." _

The Captain's eyebrows raised and she moved over to stand next to Seven, examining her sensor readouts.  "This entire region is _littered with them." _

She continued looking at the sensor readouts while she tried to think.  "If we can detect the mines, can we avoid them?" 

Harry shook his head.  "The theta radiation is interfering with our sensors.  We won't be able to detect the cloak on the mines until we're within seventy-five thousand kilometers." 

"It'll be nearly impossible to avoid them at that range," said Tom.  "Voyager may be responsive, but it's not _that maneuverable." _

"I guess we'll have to go around," she said grimly. 

"We're already deep in the minefield," said Harry.  "We'll have to back out slowly on thrusters before we do that."

"That would not be advisable, Captain," said Tuvok at his station.  "I am detecting over twenty Brennin ships on an intercept course.  By the time we make it back out of the minefield to go around it, they will be able to overtake us."

"We'll have to go through at sub-light speeds," she agreed. 

"To outrun those Brennin ships, we'll have to be going at full impulse," said Harry.  "But if we want to be able to avoid the mines, we can only go at one-quarter impulse.  And that's pushing it." 

She rubbed her temple in frustration. "Harry, get the weapons and shields back online.  Looks like we're in for a fight." 

She started to back away from Harry's station, but Tom stopped her when he spoke up. 

"Not necessarily," he said, deep in thought. 

She turned to him with a raised eyebrow.  "What have you got in mind?" 

"What about the Delta Flyer?  Voyager can't avoid a mine at that range going at full impulse, but the Flyer could."

"If we established a direct sensor link with the Flyer," picked up Harry, "We would be able to detect the cloak on the mines in time to avoid them." 

"We could modify the Delta Flyer's sensors to cut through some of the theta radiation," said Seven, "And we could boost power to the shields." 

Tom and Harry looked at the Captain in anticipation.  "Good thinking, Tom," she said, slapping her hand on the console. 

He grinned and started to move away from the console, but she held up her hand to stop him. 

"Not so fast, Lieutenant," she said with a frown.  "You're not going on the Delta Flyer.  We need our best pilot at the helm here to be able to avoid those mines." 

He stopped in his tracks and nodded after a moment. 

She suddenly knew the order she had to give, and her breath caught in her throat.  She panicked for a moment before her Starfleet training kicked in and she regained her hold on her emotions. 

Before she had a chance to open her mouth, Chakotay anticipated her. 

"I'll do it." 

She hesitated only momentarily before she nodded. 

"I'm coming with you," said B'Elanna. 

"I need you here, B'Elanna.  If we run into problems I want you in Engineering.  Same goes for you, Lieutenant," she said, addressing Harry since he looked like he was going to volunteer next. 

"I will go," offered Seven. 

"Me too," said Talia. "I worked with subspace mines during the Dominion War.  I should be able to tweak the sensors a little to pick them up faster." 

The Captain looked at the two women and then nodded.  "Good luck," she said, and they moved to leave the bridge.  Before Chakotay left her side, she grabbed his arm and he turned to face her. 

"Be careful," she said quietly, allowing her emotions to surface momentarily in her eyes. 

She knew that he had picked up on it when he nodded with a small smile. 

"I will." 

To take her mind off the danger that Chakotay was going into, Captain Janeway moved to her chair and examined the tactical readout on her console beside her chair. 

"How long until we're intercepted by the Brennin?" 

"At their present speed, forty-five minutes," Tuvok told her. 

"And how long will it take us to cross the minefield at full impulse?" 

"Approximately 27 minutes." 

"That's not leaving us very much time," said Tom, turning around at the helm. 

The Captain looked up from her console.  "Then I guess you'd better be on your toes, Mr. Paris."

Five minutes later, Harry announced that the Delta Flyer had cleared the shuttle bay. 

"Sensor link established," said Tom as he entered commands into his console.  He swiveled in his chair to face the Captain.  "We're ready to roll, Captain." 

She nodded.  "Janeway to the Delta Flyer." 

_Go ahead, came Chakotay's voice. _

"We're ready when you are." 

_Acknowledged.__  Seven and Talia have got our sensors working at top capacity.  We should be able to give you about a three-second warning._

"Understood," she said. Match their course and speed." 

The Delta Flyer came around from the shuttle bay and moved ahead of Voyager, taking off at impulse.  Tom kept Voyager close behind them in the shuttle's wake. 

They detected the first mine after about two minutes, but Tom was able to avoid it in time.  The first one was followed by others in quick succession, and Tom kept Voyager out of harm's way for the most part. 

Eventually, he didn't get enough warning from the Flyer and he was too late to avoid a mine that went off near Voyager's hull, lighting up the shields and shaking the bridge. 

"Sorry about that." 

They were just a few minutes away from the edge of the minefield when they hit another one.  This time, Tom had less than a second to change course before the mine went off near the lower hull. 

"Shields down to 84 percent," announced Tuvok. 

_Delta Flyer to Voyager, came Chakotay's voice over the comm.  __The theta radiation's increasing – it's masking the cloaking signature and we're having trouble detecting the mines._

As if to illustrate his point, another mine went off near one of the nacelles, causing a trail of plasma to be released.

"They hit the starboard nacelle," said Harry.  "We won't be able to go to warp." 

"Janeway to Engineering." 

_I'm on it, Captain, said B'Elanna, anticipating the Captain's order.  __We're working as fast as we can._

"We're going to need to get out of here fast in about three minutes." 

_Understood._

"Captain," said Tuvok. "I am detecting more Brennin vessels directly in front of us.  We will not be able to avoid them." 

"Will we be able to clear the minefield before they intercept us?" 

"No," he said.  "However, it is highly improbable that they will enter the minefield…curious." 

"What?" 

"They are not on an intercept course." 

She got up from her chair and moved over to his console, looking over his shoulder.  She saw a diagram of the minefield on his console – it was in the shape of an arch.  Voyager had entered the minefield on the large side of the arch, and if the arch was part of a circle they would be heading towards the center of it.  The Brennin ships had entered at one end of the arch, and were making a beeline towards what would be the center of the imaginary circle.

"That is curious…Let's just hope they ignore us." 

She frowned and pressed a few buttons on his console, realizing what was going on. 

"I think we've just stumbled into the middle of a battle.  Look at this – the signature on these mines isn't Brennin.  I'll bet this minefield belongs to the Kesseret, and the Brennin are attacking them." 

Her train of thought was rudely interrupted when a pair of mines detonated, throwing her sideways.  She grabbed the edge of Tuvok's station to pull herself upright. 

"Looks like we're almost clear," said Tom, but another mine went off near the upper decks of the saucer section, and two of the consoles at the back of the bridge blew out. 

"Shields down to 67 percent," said Tuvok. 

She watched the Delta Flyer on the viewscreen ahead of them, and moved back towards her chair.  She froze in her tracks when she saw a mine go off near the front of the small vessel, but relaxed a little and took her seat when Chakotay's voice came over the comm seconds later. 

_Delta Flyer to Voyager – the theta radiation's too thick to detect the cloak on the mines anymore, but I think we're almost in the clear.  Should be just a few more – _

The signal was cut off abruptly as they saw another mine explode on the other side of the Flyer, throwing it off kilter and nearly into a spin.  When there was silence over the comm, she anxiously tried to get a response from them.

"Voyager to the Delta Flyer – are you all right?  Delta Flyer, respond." 

When there was still silence, she froze momentarily before taking action. 

"Three of the Brennin ships have altered course to intercept us," reported Tuvok. 

"Get them out of there," she barked, jumping out of her chair and pivoting to face Harry. "Beam them directly to Sickbay." 

Harry nodded and his fingers flew over his console. 

She took a few steps over to Tom at the helm.  "Get a tractor beam on the Flyer," she ordered at Harry over her shoulder.  "Tom, we're going to have to pick it up on the run or leave it behind." 

"You got it," he said, deftly running his fingers over his console. 

"I've got them," said Harry.  "I've got a tractor beam ready." 

"Do it." 

Tom took Voyager above the Flyer and stopped so that it was immediately below the tractor beam emmitter. 

"Got it," announced Harry. 

"The Brennin ships are closing, Captain," said Tuvok. 

"B'Elanna," said the Captain, "How long until we've got warp again?" 

_Another five minutes at least, Captain._

She sighed.  "Understood.  Lieutenant Kim, divert all available power to the shields and bring Seven's modifications to the phasers online."  She settled herself into her seat and gripped the armrests.  "All hands to battle stations." 

The Brennin ships swooped towards Voyager, firing torpedoes at them as they flew by.  The bridge shook with the force of the impacts, and Kathryn was thrown sideways in her seat. 

"Shields down to 58 percent," reported Tuvok. 

"Return fire." 

The phaser arrays powered up and fired at the attacking ships, causing one of them to break off the attack while the other two continued and came around for another pass. 

"Five more ships are heading towards us, Captain," Tuvok told her. 

"What about the modifications to the phasers?" 

"They appear to be more effective – we disabled the weapons array of one of their ships." 

"Fire at will – target their reactor cores.  Maybe if they see what we've got they'll leave us alone." 

The floor shook under them again as the two ships flew by again, but this time when Tuvok fired at them, one of the ships disintegrated in a massive fireball. 

"A direct hit," announced the Vulcan. 

The Brennin reinforcements arrived and began peppering Voyager with their powerful torpedoes. 

"B'Elanna, we could use warp right about now," yelled the Captain over the explosions on the bridge. 

_We're having some problems, but I think we've almost got it._

"Keep at it – we can't take much more of this," said the Captain, ducking as sparks flew across the bridge. 

Her attention was drawn to the turbolift doors and her shoulders slumped with relief when she saw Seven and Chakotay exit the turbolift.  They stumbled as they stepped out of the turbolift when the bridge shook, but they recovered and Seven made her way to her usual station behind the command chairs while Chakotay walked over to his seat.  Their faces were slightly blackened from what looked almost like soot and Seven was sporting a nasty cut on her cheek, but they looked to be fine otherwise. 

The Captain raised her eyebrow at him as he sat down. 

"We're fine," he assured her, knowing what she was wondering.  "The comm system was knocked out.  Lieutenant Oren was pretty badly hurt, but the Doctor thinks she'll be fine." 

She was about to say something, but was preempted by an explosion behind Seven.  Some panels were missing from the roof, and gas was coming out of a pipe hanging down from the ceiling. 

"Shields at 47 percent," announced Tuvok. 

"There is a vessel decloaking off the starboard bow," said Seven suddenly. 

"What?" said the Captain, turning around in her seat.  "Brennin?" 

"No…but it bears the same energy signatures as the mines." 

The decloaking ship was soon joined by two others that appeared, and they fired on the smaller Brennin ships.  Two of the torpedoes caused their targets to explode, and three other vessels appeared to be severely damaged. 

"The Brennin are retreating," announced Tuvok. 

Captain Janeway sighed with relief and got up out of her chair, turning to face Lieutenant Kim. 

"Hail them." 

Before Harry complied the Captain was knocked off her feet when one of the vessels that had decloaked fired on Voyager.  She got up off her knees and sat back in her chair. 

"Great," muttered Tom at the helm.  "We get rid of _one annoying species…"_

He was interrupted by Harry.  "They're hailing us." 

"Onscreen," she said, her voice hard. 

An alien from an unfamiliar species appeared on the viewscreen.  His skin was almost scaly in texture, and he had a large nose with ridges that extended both downwards to his chin and upwards over the bridge of his nose and covered his forehead. 

"State your identity," said the alien in a suspicious tone of voice. 

"Captain Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager.  Why have you fired on us?" 

"That was a warning shot," he growled.  "Stay away from our corridor." 

She looked at Chakotay questioningly, then back at the viewscreen.  "I don't know what you're talking about – we have no quarrel with you.  We're just passing through this area of space, trying to get home." 

This surprised the alien.  "You're not enemies of the Brennin?  I assumed you were competing with them to gain possession of our corridor." 

"Well, they seem to think we're their enemies.  They're under the impression we're collaborating with a race known as the Kesseret." 

The alien's hostile demeanor vanished.  "They're quite paranoid," he conceded. "I am General Tamal of the Kesseret, and I don't believe I've ever heard of your…Federation, so I don't believe we're collaborating with you." 

"Perhaps we could change that." 

She saw the hostility flash across the Tamal's scaly face again, but it quickly faded.  "Well…if you're not interested in taking possession of our corridor, then we have no cause to be at odds with you." 

"Well, if you have no further dispute with us, we'll be on our way." 

Tamal smirked.  "You may find that difficult. Our corridor is surrounded on all sides by our minefield.  The only exit is the small passageway where the Brennin have deactivated a few of our mines.  Unless you want to cross another expanse of mines or face the Brennin fleet, I suggest you allow us to escort you.  If you follow us, we can lead you around the mines." 

"That would be most helpful." 

"Your vessel appears to be damaged," noted the General.  "Unless you're in a great hurry to be gone, perhaps you would allow us to escort you back to Kesseret Prime so you could make repairs.  It's less than three days from here."

Captain Janeway looked at Chakotay while she considered it. 

"We do need to re-supply," he said quietly. 

"Would there be any possibility of obtaining supplies on your homeworld?" 

"Some of our resources are limited due to the war with the Brennin," admitted Tamal.  "But I'm sure something could be arranged if you have materials that we need." 

"Then we'd be delighted." 

"If you wish to avoid further contact with the Brennin," continued the alien, "I'm sure my government would be willing to allow you to proceed through our space." 

"That would be very much appreciated." 

"If you'll just follow my vessel, we'll be on our way," said Tamal, and she nodded in response before the viewscreen went black.  Two of the Kesseret ships recloaked, and the third ship turned around and headed away from the site of battle, with Voyager following close behind.

*    *    *

_Captain's Log, Stardate 55064.5  We've set a course for the Kesseret homeworld in the hopes that we will be able to re-supply the ship, and General Tamal has given me reason to hope for the possibility of shore leave for the crew.  After the tension of traveling through this area of space over the past month, the crew could certainly use a chance to take a break and get some fresh air.  I'm curious to know why this area of space is so important to the Kesseret, but our guest has been somewhat evasive on the subject to say the least._

"Your shields are very impressive, Captain," said Tamal as he walked down one of Voyager's hallways with Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay.  "I've never seen this…what did you call it?" 

"Multiphasic shielding." 

"It's quite innovative." . 

"Thank you.  I'm curious, General – why are you at war with the Brennin?" 

He frowned.  "For generations they have been starting wars with us.  They are a paranoid little species – they always think that we have a new technology or a powerful ally who is going to help us destroy them."  He snorted derisively. "As if we would need assistance to destroy them.  What you call a war, Captain, consists entirely of us defending ourselves.  The Brennin attack, we fight them, they retreat, and then they attack again.  It's been going on like that for generations." 

"Perhaps if you explained that you have no hostile intentions," began the Captain, but he interrupted her. 

"They're too caught up in their paranoid fantasies to respond to diplomacy.  Their latest theory is that we are creating a weapon of mass destruction to wipe out their homeworld." 

"That's why they were attacking this part of space?" asked Chakotay. 

"They believe it is concealed in our corridor," said Tamal. 

"Why is this corridor of space so important to you?" the Captain asked, hoping once again to get some answers.

The General shifted uncomfortably as they reached the transporter room and entered.  "I'm afraid I can't discuss that with outsiders.  Perhaps one of our Ambassadors will be able to give you more information." 

She nodded reluctantly as their guest stepped on the transporter pad. 

"I will transfer the information you requested from our cultural database," he told her, "Although from what I've seen, our societies are remarkably similar.  You should have no problems on Kesseret Prime." 

"Thank you, General." 

He put his fist to his chest in a salute, and she nodded warmly at him. 

"Energize." 

The soldier disappeared in a blue shimmer, and the Captain and Chakotay turned for the door. 

"I wonder what's so important that they put a massive minefield around it?" she said as they started down the hallway. 

The Kesseret had shown them a diagram of the minefield, and she had been surprised to discover that Voyager had only detected about half of it.  The minefield was not an arch as she had surmised, but rather in a donut shape.  Voyager had only crossed one edge of the minefield, and they would have had to cross the same expanse to get out again.  The Brennin had managed to deactivate a small section of the circular minefield, and that was how they had made it to the center.  General Tamal had told them that a large contingent of cloaked vessels was stationed near this small passageway, and the three vessels that had decloaked to fight the Brennin attacking Voyager had been part of that contingent. 

"Maybe it's just a defense perimeter," suggested Chakotay as he walked beside her. 

"They why does it look as if it's surrounding something?" she asked.  It frustrated her to have anything kept from her knowledge, but she shrugged it off.  "How's Lieutenant Oren doing?" 

"The Doctor wants her to take a couple of days off, but I hear she's on the bridge anyways.  No wonder you two get along so well." 

She chuckled.  "Well, I'm glad you all came out in one piece.  That mine detonated pretty close to the Flyer's hull."

"We built it to take a beating," he said cheerfully. 

After a few moments of silence, he stopped walking and took her by the arm. 

"This proves that you were wrong, you know," he said with a small smile. 

She looked at him in confusion for a moment. "About what?" 

"Well, you managed to send me on a dangerous away mission and still run the ship.  I told you it was possible."

She allowed herself a small smile.  "Well, I was worried about you, but…you're right.  I was able to put it aside and focus on  keeping the ship safe." 

He watched her expression carefully as the significance of this dawned on her.  She remained silent as they were passed by a crewman, who nodded at them and continued moving down the hallway. 

"I didn't want to be right, you know," she said quietly, referring to their argument in the turbolift weeks ago. "I just couldn't take the chance that I was, that you were wrong." 

"I know, Kathryn, but it wasn't about right and wrong."  He looked down and put his hands on his hips.  "There's a quote from an old book I remember reading while I was at the Academy: 'The man who goes alone can start today, but he who travels with another must wait until that other is ready, and it may be a long time before they get off.'"

"Walden," she said softly. 

He nodded.  "It wasn't about me being right or you being wrong.  It was about both of us getting to the same place."  He gave her an affectionate smile, making his dimples apparent.  "So what if it took us seven years?" 

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" she asked in a whisper, reaching out to touch his arm.  She suddenly felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and the relief was apparent on her face.  She was about to say more, but remembered that they weren't exactly alone as she saw another crewman come out of a doorway down the hallway. 

She took him by the arm and they started walking down the hallway again.  "When are you going to…"

"Announce the new crew quarters assignments?  That depends on you." 

"Oh?" 

"Do you think you're ready for the crew to know?" he asked. 

She considered for a moment.  "Well, no…but I can't put it off indefinitely." 

"What about just until we reach Kesseret Prime?  I think it'll be easier to move quarters around if some of the crew is down on the planet – there'll be fewer people around." 

"Excellent idea, Commander," she said, chuckling at his flimsy excuse.  They entered a turbolift, and as soon as the doors closed Kathryn took his hand and gave it a squeeze, the most affection she allowed herself to show outside of their quarters.  She quickly released his hand when the turbolift stopped after one deck and admitted Tom and B'Elanna.  Kathryn and Chakotay quickly tried to compose themselves. 

"Has our new friend left yet?" asked Tom. 

Chakotay nodded.  "We beamed him back to his ship." 

"Are we still on for dinner tonight, Captain?" asked B'Elanna. 

"Dinner?  Oh, I had completely forgotten," said the Captain.  Although she enjoyed their company, the last thing she wanted to do was spend an entire evening on her toes worried that Tom or B'Elanna was picking something up.  She realized, though, that if she and Chakotay were going to move in together within a week, it didn't matter if Tom and B'Elanna were suspicious or not. 

"That's all right, Captain," said B'Elanna.  "We can do it some other time." 

"Not at all.  It just slipped my mind.  Have you spoken to Mark and Seven?" 

B'Elanna nodded. 

"Then I guess we'll see you at 1800.  Holodeck 2?" 

"Sounds good, Captain," said Tom.  The turbolift stopped on deck 2 and Tom and B'Elanna got off while the Captain and Chakotay continued on to the bridge. 

"So," said B'Elanna as they entered the mess hall.  "What are we going to do for an entire day on the holodeck?" 

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.  "I think you should be asking Harry that," he said.  "I'm beginning to wonder if we're seeing things." 

"They jumped so high when we entered the turbolift I thought they would hit the ceiling," said B'Elanna. "You didn't notice?" 

"No," he admitted. 

She saw Harry sitting over at one of the tables working with Seven of Nine, and she started towards them.  "Don't worry," she muttered as they made their way over.  "I've got it covered.  Harry, Seven, mind if we join you?" 

"Not at all," said Harry, and he moved some of the PADDs off the table. 

"So, Harry, I hope you're looking forward to babysitting," said B'Elanna. 

He rolled his eyes.  "All right – what convoluted 'proof' have you come up with this time?" 

"It's not convoluted," she said defensively.  "You were on the bridge when she and Chakotay got there, right?" 

"Yeah." 

"They came out of the same jeffries tube, right?" 

"Well, yeah, but they could have met up on their way to the bridge.  That doesn't prove anything." 

B'Elanna sighed.  "You don't get it."  She shifted in her chair and leaned across the table.  "When Tom and I heard the explosion, he left for the bridge, and I took Miral to Ensign Wildman's quarters before I went to engineering.  The thing was, Tom couldn't get to the bridge right away because there was a series of blown bulkheads that blocked the corridor." 

"I had to go around and use the other access to the bridge," remembered Tom. 

"What's your point?" demanded Harry. 

Seven picked it up before B'Elanna explained.  "Commander Chakotay's quarters are located down the hall from those of Lieutenants Paris and Torres.  If Lieutenant Paris was unable to reach the access that the Commander and the Captain used, then Commander Chakotay was not in his quarters when the explosion occurred." 

"Exactly," said B'Elanna.  "There's no way he could have used the jeffries tubes near Ops unless he was somewhere else…say, deck three, section four?" 

Seven could tell by the expression on Tom's face that he was struck by the information, but Harry seemed unmoved.

"Give me a break.  They could have just been working in her quarters." 

"At 0400?  I don't think so," said Tom. 

Harry shook his head.  "You two are delirious.  Come on, Seven.  We should try out these sensor calibrations in Astrometrics." 

Tom watched them leave before he turned excitedly to his wife.  "I can't believe I never realized that he couldn't get to the bridge the way he did.  He had to have been spending the night in her quarters." 

B'Elanna grinned.  "So…how does and entire day on Gedi Prime sound?"

(Yes, there's more.  Much, much, more.  Return to my index to continue to the sequel, "PARADISE LOST", or find it on my website www.geocities.com/kira4747)


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